you know I will make it

now it is 6PM in China,I am in the student hostel hall,just went back from the school where I learn oral Engliah.
I swear to the God that I can learn English well.I wanna be a businessman in the future and I will work harder and harder.

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If I had written this, I would say:

 

I know I'll make it

 

It's now 6PM in China, and I'm in the student hostel hall. I just got back from the school where I study spoken English. I swear to God I can learn English well. I want to be a businessman in the future, and I will work hard to become one.

In general, "wanna" is fine in informal usage, but I would avoid writing it, as it's acceptable to write "want to" informally. 

"Oral English" is understood, but I think "spoken English" or "conversational English" sounds more natural, as Katherine already pointed out above (I wish I could tag people; I hope she sees this, haha). 

 

We say "went back /to/", and "came back /from/". For example: "Last night I went back /to/ the school where I learned spoken English," but "This morning I came back /from/ the school where I learned spoken English."

 

We do capitalize God in English, by convention, so good job catching that! We don't say "the God", though, except in special cases. Here, the phrase is "I swear to God".

"I will work harder and harder" is actually not wrong, but it feels unfinished: Try "I will work harder and harder <em>to become one</em>", for example. 

Overall, well-written; just a few points on usage to remember and you're well on your way! 挺好的，继续努力！

"Travel" we use when talking about general trips abroad (or if not abroad, at least away from home), e.g.: My favorite thing to do is travel His travels brought him all over the world. He travels frequently for his job. "Tour" in the sense of travel has the sense of complete or near-complete exploration of a place, typically as travel for pleasure: His tour through Europe brought him to France, Spain, Italy, and Germany in the same month. I saw Beijing and Xi'an on my tour through China. "Tour" can also be a guided expedition under someone who knows the place being explored better than those (s)he's leading. This can be on a smaller scale: We paid $20 for a tour through the science museum. . . . Or on a grander one: Perù natives took us on an unforgettable tour of the Andes. Whoever is leading such a trip --- whether it be through the museum, the Andes, or even a continent --- is generally called a "tour guide". "Tour" in general is a just a trip taken around a some definite place; for example, musicians who travel through their countries and abroad are said to be "touring artists" on a "concert tour" (which we typically refer to as just a 'tour'). "Program" and "programme" have identical meanings, but the former is almost exclusive in the United States, whereas both forms appear in Canada and Australia, and programme almost exclusively in the UK. A "project" is something someone sets out to do, that is, something planned, with a goal in mind: Our computer science project is nearing completion. His science fair project won first place. Used as a verb, it can mean to predict: We project lower earnings than expected for this quarter. . . . Or to throw outwards (which is its literal meaning in Latin, as a fun fact), usually in a figurative sense: His figure projected a long shadow on the lonely shore. If you were asking what the relation between program/programme and project is, I would say that there isn't any. They aren't synonyms, nor antonyms, in any sense that I know of. Someone will correct me if I'm wrong, I'm sure. 若有些不清楚，欢迎来问我；希望这对你有点儿用处～

Diary0820

 

It's quite difficult to find a topics to write about here, so I'll just use date as the title and record follow my nose what comes to mind. The ideal article might should be short, and can clearly express my meaning in English without any professional [this will be understood, but I think "formal" works better] words, I think.

Time flys, the date shows that.

There are a lot of things I need to do. Sometimes I'll it makes me feel a little anxious . . . I want to find a new job and prepare for the interviews, I want to pass my exam this October, I want to improve my English and expand my word bank vocabulary, I need to prepare for the my September travel and buy accouters [I'm not familiar with this word, 你的意思是什么？].

It is rainning outside; the weather in Shanghia is quite hot these days. I hope the rain will bring cool here [this will be understood; more naturally: ". . . will cool things down"].

(Maybe tomorrow I can write sth about J)

 

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Hey, again! This is actually very well-written, well done! Below, I wrote the way I'd write this, if it were my entry:

It's pretty hard to find things to write about every day, so I guess I'll just record the date as the title and write what comes to mind. I think an ideal notebook entry should be short, and clearly express my thoughts in English without any formal words.

Time flies --- that much is clear from the date. There are a lot of things I need to do; it makes me anxious, sometimes. I want to find a new job and prepare for the interviews, I want to pass my exam this October,  I want to improve my English and expand my vocabulary, I need to prepare to travel in September . . . 

 

It's raining out [<em>or: "It's rainy</em>."] The weather in Shanghai has been rather hot recently; I hope it'll cool off a bit with the rain.

 

Again, if you have any questions about my phrasing, let me know! I can always try to explain. This is very good, though, keep it up.

 

Best,

 

沈飞达

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

 

Hi，everyone! Nice to meet you here. 

I am just interested in English and western culture, and want to improve my language skills as well. However, what I want most is to find a friend here, who also loves China and is interested in Chinese culture, especially Shanghai. Please contact with me!

 

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很好写的～

 

1. I crossed out <em>just</em> in "I am just interested . . . ", but it's not wrong. I think it might sound better to omit it here, but it's perfectly good English either way.

 

2. I changed <em>skill</em> to <em>skills, </em>but it's not actually a problem. I just think <em>skills</em> sounds better. 

3. <em>The most things I want to do </em>. . . Should be written: <em>The thing I want to do most,</em> but it's shorter and sometimes more natural to say <em>The thing I want most</em>, without <em>to do</em>. You can also say<em>: </em><em>What I'm most interested in</em> <em>is finding a friend here</em>, which is probably what I would write.

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我这里用我的话写你的作文一遍 :)

Hey everyone! Nice to meet you all.

 

I'm interested in English and western culture, and want to improve my language skills as well. What I want most, though, is finding a friend who's interested in Chinese culture, and Shanghai especially.

 

Contact me, please!

 

这篇文本和你的明显有些不同；如果你有词汇或语法的问题，请来问我！

 

另：我对上海和上海话实在有兴趣～

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

 

Hello,I am a college student. I am from the south of China. I like singing and reading, as well as watching movies. Travelling is my favorest favorite part of my day, thing in my daily because I can meet many people from all different places. I will have an IELTS exam for studying to in Hong Kong, so I would like to improve my English level, especially my spoken oral English [or: "especially my speech"]. In addition, As a Chinese person, I am glad [or: "happy", or "excited"] to communicate with foreign friends who prefer want to learn Chinese better. as a chinese people

=)

Hello everybody~

This is the first time for me to I have used Italki,a website be used to communicate with foreigners. I feel excited 'cause my English would be will improved. I am a student who comes from China [more natural: ". . . a student from China", or "a Chinese student"], and I like English very much, because it can be use worldwide/widely [more natural to use one of the two]. By learning English, I can [or: ". . . will be able to"] meet so many [more natural: ". . . a lot of"] lovely friends, chat with them, and exchange the culture of each other's country [possibly more natural: "exchange cultures"]. That's interesting. And maybe I will [I'm not sure what you wanted to say exactly, but perhaps: ". . . I will be able to" works better] study abroad to [and] live up my dream in the future.

 

--- --- ------ --- ------ --- ------ --- ---

 

Hi =) First off, not so bad at all. If you have any questions about the edits, I'd be happy to send a more comprehensive message including details as to precisely why I'd change what I would. Otherwise, I hope these changes are helpful! Happy studying. =)

P.S.: Thanks for the corrects~~~ 

Diary0818

 

I don't know whether my grammer is right or not*. Can people understand my article? Are my words proper [or: "appropriate"] or not**? OK [try: "Well, . . . "], never mind. I'll just use this to record my life, and hope someone can find something here.

These days, I am not happy [or: "I'm not too/so happy" sounds more natural to my ears]. Someone said They say that if you want to know whether a guy someone is happy or not, you might judge  can see it from on his or her first-time face first thing in the morning. Happy can be pretend You can pretend to be happy [or more formally: "Happiness can be feigned, . . . "], but your morning face won't tell a lie [or: ". . . your face won't lie" works just as well.].

Empty~~~ Yes [more formal but valid: "Indeed, . . . "], sometimes, you should just be happy and cherish all the things everything [or more naturally: " . . . cherish what you have"], but yet you just can't smile.

There are too many things you want to do, too many things you haven't started, too many things you don't want to do . . . Sometimes you just feel a little helpless and don't want to do anything.

 

*<em>There's nothing grammatically wrong with "or not" here, actually, but it seems a little bit bulky when it's at the end of the sentence. You could say:</em> <em>"I don't know whether or not my grammar is right," though, and that sounds perfectly natural to me.</em>

<em>
</em>

<em>**I would probably write: "Is my diction appropriate," but I didn't make the correction above because it's much different than what you had, and it's a somewhat specific word. Message me if you'd like to know a little more about this correction.</em>

 

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Hey there. First of all, I think a lot of us can relate to this (at the least, I know I can). Also, I really like the idea of keeping a journal in your target language: I might start doing the same myself.

As far as writing, I can definitely understand what you're trying to say. If you'd like, I could send you a more complete edit and explain in-depth why I marked what I did, or you could just peruse the above changes if that works better for you!

Either way: 继续努力！我觉得你这样做会快快地改善你的英文! ＝）

If you need anything or have any questions, let me know. I'd be thrilled to help --- Best of luck!