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  • Corrected

    sanae's notebook entry: May 20, 2011

    Hi, I've read 34 pages.


    One day, Babe and his friend<strike>'</strike>s <strike>find </strike><strike>out</strike> found a hotel.
    <strike>And</strike> Then, they went into the hotel.
    Suddenly, the front of door opened with a "CRASH"<strike>!</strike> and people ran into the hotel.
    Some were policeman, and one was a woman (or "female") doctor<strike>s</strike> in a white coat.
    <strike>They caught were almost animals.</strike> The animals were almost caught. (or "They were almost caught")
    Babe <strike>was</strike> tried to help<strike>ed</strike> his friends, but he <strike>can't</strike> couldn't.  
    Finally, Babe, Flealick, Ferdinand, and monkey <strike>were</strike> escaped <strike>them</strike>.
    After that, Babe decided to help his friends.
    He used his nose and followed his friends!

    <strike>Next story will happen Babe and his frineds
    reached place where his frinds.
    </strike>    In the next part of the story, Babe will reach his friends and <strike>the Babe and his friends</strike> they will take revenge on those people<strike>s</strike>.

    Thank you for reading my bad text.

    ----------
    red = correction
    blue = optional

    Two suggestions:
    - always remember to add a space after commas
    - when you start a sentence with "And", you should almost always combine it with the sentence before (see "And the Babe and his frinds revenge on peoples." or "and people ran into the hotel.")

    Otherwise, good job! The third sentence (with "CRASH") sounded very natural!
    0 voted
    May 20, 2011
    1
  • Corrected

    First notebook entry: Introducing myself

    I am a 21 year-old colle<strike>a</strike>ge student. I have one reason to study English. The reason is to be able to talk with native English speakers.
    I'm afraid my english is not correct. Please teach me English ^^;

    (Alternate version - sounds better)
    I am a 21 year-old college student. I am learning English so that I can talk with native English speakers. I'm worried that my English is incorrect, so please help me learn!

    -------------
    red = correction
    blue = optional

    Your original entry was correct except for the "not" that BYLO mentioned, but it didn't sound very natural. The alternate version says the same thing with a more natural flow.

    よくやった！


    0 voted
    May 20, 2011
    0
  • Corrected

    My town is a lot of bicycles


    Hi everyone.


    My town <strike>is</strike> has a lot of bicycles in it. (or "There are a lot of bicycles in my town.")
    Today's photo is a bicycle-parking space around the station.

    There <strike>are</strike> is also a two stor<strike>e</strike>y parking area in front of my house.
    It is always full.

    I went <strike>to the</strike> cycling today.
    It was <strike>happy</strike> fun (or "It made me happy") though it (only) lasted about one hour.

    ------------
    red = correction
    blue = optional

    すごい！自転車がたくさんあるよね！何千あると思いますか？
    0 voted
    May 18, 2011
    5
  • Corrected

    Tyriar did a good job with the corrections, but I think you meant "pixel art" when you said "dot painting". When people talk about very pixelated drawings like in video games, it is common to say "pixel art" or "lo-res art".

    That sounds like a cool event though!

    0 voted
    May 18, 2011
    2
  • Corrected

    Katana sword 2


    Hello.

    Today I will talk about the Katana sword.
    <strike>It is</strike> They were used around 400 years ago.

    Now people do not fight with <strike>the</strike> (those) swords.

    mm...
    rurouni kensin....

    --------
    red - correction
    blue - optional

    剣心は格好いいね。それが好きな漫画です。明治時代はとても面白い時代です。

    0 voted
    May 17, 2011
    0
  • Posted
    箸は。。。 ぼくは大学にいた時まで箸が使えませんでした。箸を使うのは難しです。最近に練習して、上達します。 箸は格好いいと思います。簡単なものでも便利なものです。
    May 16, 2011
    5
    1
  • Corrected

    I love traveling and talking with people, especially people of about my age, so learning English is important.

    -----------

    I think it flows a little smoother this way, but your English is very good! I hope you enjoy your time in Europe!

    0 voted
    May 16, 2011
    1
  • Corrected

    First notebook entry: Introducing myself


    英語を勉強したくて始めました。
    I started a italk to learn English.
    Eu comecei o italk para estudar inglês

    日本のことについても知らないことがたくさんあるので、母国についてもしっかりと学んで、海外のひとに話せるようになりたいです。
    As there is so many things I don't know, I want to study more about my country, so that I can teach foreig<strike>n</strike>ners about it.
    Como não sei muita coisa sobre o Japão, queria estudar sobre o Japão também para poder falar sobre o Japão aos estrangeiros.

    日本人の方とも、それ以外の方とも仲良くなりたいので、どんどん連絡ください。
    I would like to be friends with japanese and the others too. So please contact me without hesitation.
    Eu gostatria de ser amigo com os japoneses também.
    Então, me contate sem hesitar, por favor.

    こちらからもどんどんコンタクト取っていきたいと思います。
    I would contact you activel<strike>l</strike>y with you.
    Eu mesmo gostaria de ter contato com você sem hesitar.

    -----------------
    The last sentence sounds better as:
    "I would keep in active contact with you" or "I would correspond actively with you"

    Otherwise, impressive! Three languages at once! I can't comment on the Portuguese though :(

    ぼくは日本語を勉強しています。今下手に話しますでも頑張ります。今にもぼくにコンタクトしてください。
    0 voted
    May 14, 2011
    0
  • Corrected

    SAKURA


    This is a photo of cherry blossoms.

    It is said SAKURA in Japanese. (I would say "The Japanese word for them is <em>sakura</em>.")
    A lot of SAKURA bloom when spring comes.

    Beautiful SAKURA bloomed this year.

    桜はきれいですね

    よくやった！
    0 voted
    May 9, 2011
    0
  • Corrected

    日本語を勉強しているのはなぜ???Why are you studying Japanese???

    日本語を勉強するのはなぜ？
    Why are you studying Japanese???

    この質問はよく聞かれると思います。
    Almost <strike>of</strike> all Japanese ask you this question.

    でも、怒らないでね。
    But please don't be angry.

    大部分の日本人が英語を勉強しているのはなぜってきかれても答えられないから。
    Because if you ask the question to Japanese, many of them cannot answer it.

    あるいは、ただ、コミュニケーションをとりたいだけだったりします。
    Or many of them can only talk to native speakers or a few(?) people.

    でもね。。。なぜ、皆さんはなぜ日本語を勉強しているの？？？
    But.... I would like to ask you this question., "Why are you studying Japanese???"

    漫画や日本のテレビ番組をみたいから？
    Is the reason that you would like to read Japanese animes or watch Japanese TV programs?

    日本人と話したいから？
    Or...is the reason that you would like to talk to Japanese?

    日本に住みたいから？
    Or...is the reason that you would like to live in Japan?

    それとも日本について知りたいから？
    Or...is the reason that you would like to learn about Japan?

    さぁ、日本語を勉強しているのはなぜ???
    Well....why are you studying Japanese???

    ----------------
    I want to read manga and watch anime in Japanese. I also want to be able to talk to people during my trip to Japan.
    一番理由は日本語で漫画やアニメをみたいから。また日本の旅時に日本人と話すことができたいから。
    0 voted
    May 4, 2011
    0