sanae's notebook entry: May 20, 2011

Hi, I've read 34 pages.


One day, Babe and his friend's find out found a hotel.
And Then, they went into the hotel.
Suddenly, the front of door opened with a "CRASH"! and people ran into the hotel.
Some were policeman, and one was a woman (or "female") doctors in a white coat.
They caught were almost animals. The animals were almost caught. (or "They were almost caught")
Babe was tried to helped his friends, but he can't couldn't.  
Finally, Babe, Flealick, Ferdinand, and monkey were escaped them.
After that, Babe decided to help his friends.
He used his nose and followed his friends!

Next story will happen Babe and his frineds
reached place where his frinds.
In the next part of the story, Babe will reach his friends and the Babe and his friends they will take revenge on those peoples.

Thank you for reading my bad text.

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red = correction
blue = optional

Two suggestions:
- always remember to add a space after commas
- when you start a sentence with "And", you should almost always combine it with the sentence before (see "And the Babe and his frinds revenge on peoples." or "and people ran into the hotel.")

Otherwise, good job! The third sentence (with "CRASH") sounded very natural!