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我在中国!
修改後:我刚来到中国。我住在成都。成都很漂亮,I am not sure the meaning you want to express in the last sentense.1.Girls in China are beautiful. -----> 中国的女孩很美丽
2.Girls in China are more beautiful than in America. ------->中国的女孩比美国的美丽
3. Chinese girls are as beautiful as American. ------> 中国女孩跟美国的一样美丽
0 votedOctober 14, 20160- Ten-day trip in Shanghai About three years ago, I went to Shanghai with my best friend, Nick. We have known each other since we were elementary student. Both of us had represented our college to take part in the ten-day international camp at Fudan University. We had classes and meals with local students during the previous seven days. I found that the students in China prefer to major in economics than medicine. However, many distinguished students prefer to choose medicine rather than economic just because doctors’ beginning wages is higher than any others position in Taiwan. In our last few days, we hung out with students of Fudan, took maglev train, and visited the Oriental Pearl Tower. The tall transparent floor we lay on was impressive and scary. I am not fond of the traffic jam and rude local people shouting around the street. Nevertheless, Chinese art craft like papercutting and calligraphy were visible everywhere and it was awesome. Writing a poem using Chinese names is another popular traditional activity. Last but not least, I was surprised that Nick got a girlfriend after the ten-day trip. And the girl is one of our group members. Due to their relationship, we can keep in touch with each other until now. Well done, Nick. Thank you for revising my article.October 14, 201630
原句(修訂):我和家人去露营、所以我们去了Tennessee. 以后、我们走在树林之中。但是我不知道 我们在做什么明天要做什么。
注解:
1.单字不可省略。例如:“家人”、“树林”
2. In Chinese, we put "adverb of time" at the middle or the beginning of a sentense.
舉例:1.「明天」我要和朋友一起去学校上课 ( at the beginning of the sentense )
2. 我和朋友「明天」要一起去学校上课 ( at the middle of the sentense )
建議改為:我和家人去Tennessee露营,我们漫步在树林中,但是還沒想好我们明天要做什么。
0 votedOctober 14, 20160第二百七十八天。
今天是二零一六年十月十四日,星期五。一点四十五分。
昨天,我很早睡就了。
不過今天很冷。
这是所以讓我很难起床。
我很高兴,因为今天是一个星期五。整体而言意思表达还算清楚,不过为了提升句子流畅度,以下几点建议:
1.注意副词(例如:很、就...)的使用
2.善用连接词
(例如:因为你说“今天很冷”,下一句就说“很难起床”,这两句是有因果关系的,所以需连接词来连接,使逻辑顺畅 。)
道理如同:You should put "because" between "It is hard for me to get up" and " weather is cold."
0 votedOctober 14, 20160

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