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The great person I love
Steve Jobs, a great man, founded the Apple Computer, Inc. I think that he do not know I don't think he knows how to get along with his friends and other people persons. Without question, Steve loves his family and friends. He love his children. When his life was ending going to end, he told almost almost told everything important about his life to the writer who would write the book "Steve Jobs". Because he was is a busy man, he could not see accompany his children frequently. But he loved his children, he wanted his children to know that what was he like, and why he was so focussed on his career. He loved his job, and he was is a man who pursued perfection. He hoped that the natural beauty could can be added into his their products.Thus,he can created the greatest computer products.
This is very good! These were only a few, minor errors. I can tell that you understand English well.
I just made some changes with the tense. Because he is no longer alive, I changed a lot of it into the past tense. Well done for a good peice
0 votedFebruary 25, 20140This is a good night
Do Did you know, it is last night was my first time to make making a foreign friend last night. Her name is Trần Phạm Thanh Tâm, a beautiful girl come from Vietnam. Her English is very good.She have has a beautiful dream of studying in Austrilia. I believe that her dream will become an actuality. Joel Thomas Thomas,another foreign friend of me mine told me that don't be not to be afraid to say the wrong thing when speaking English, because speaking more is how me I become better. Although the communication between us is Although we have only talked a little bit, but I think we have been become good friends.
This was a good little story, you've only made a few mistakes. They tend to be the same mistake.
The main issue is with tense. It may help to try to really think whether the what you're talking about has already happened, is happening now or is going to happen.
Once you've decided this, you may need to change certain words to suit the tense.
If you need help with this, ask me right away!0 votedFebruary 24, 20140Diary1
04/01/2014
Today the is sun shinning is shining day and it is a good time to go outside to and do some have activities. But i was have been stuck in preparing my IELTS which is a necessarily certificate for applying to school.
Most of the day i have spent on preparing for the oral test which is the worse part of area in my test. I know it is hard to improve in a month but i will try my best to upgrade it. There is has a well -know words expression:”Nothing is impossible.“ And i am glad that I have received a lot of help from here. Those These people are so nice to answer my questions in detail.
By the way i have acquired a lot of new knowledge when i was fulfilling in my answers, such as how to be polite and how to manage your my time better.
*^ο^*This was a good peice! There were some mistakes, most of them were to do with tense.
It might help to try to think, is this happening now, has it already happened or is it going to happen.
This is important because some words change depending on when the action happens.0 votedFebruary 24, 20140One day
Wei Ping began to speak very fast at the 9 o'clock meeting.
He wrote very quickly and soon his essay was finished. Jack is his close friend and he is 1.90 meters tall.
This was very accurate, the only correction i needed to make was the time. The meeting was at 9 o'clock so name of the meeting would become 'the 9 o'clock meeting' instead of 'meeting at 9 o'clock'.
It flows better and stops you using 'at' twice.
0 votedFebruary 20, 20140Festival
I was 12 when I went to it was my first Mid-Autumn Festival spent with my parents. In the early morning, my parents and I went to the zoo in at our car. There were a lot of visitors stood in the front of the box-office window. We waited a long time and to buy three tickets. In the Tiger Mountain section of the park, I was too so eager to see the fiercely frightened frightening animals that I quickened my steps walked quickly through the crowd. Unfortunately, I got separated from my parents. I had a hard time looking for him them, but I had no luck. Wandering in the park, I felt alone. without any compaions. Even worse ill, I had no money so I had to walk home, covered covering as much as 5 kilometers.
This is a good story. It is well written but there are some issues with the tense. Maybe it might help to try to think (did this action happen before, after or is it happening right now) because you are likely to need slightly different words.
Apart from this, you have done very well!0 votedFebruary 20, 20141
