Red for spelling mistakes
Green for grammar
Pink for additions
Blue for other word suggestions

Its been making her crazy

Its been driving her crazy, so she asked Gabe how you could find out if someone died or not. He took her to this big building near the capitol. He drove her all the way there, and he just sat in the drivers seat looking straight ahead at the road not asking me any questions. He took her to the room in the basement where they keep records of everything that happens in this country. He got her the death records from the past few weeks, and then he just sat beside her and let her do her thing. She held her breath and prayed really hard while looking at that list. God must have been listening because she never saw her name. But she did see a Jane Doe - Gabe says thats what they put down when they dont know who the woman is. That Jane Doe was 35, and she was found strangled down by the river that runs through downtown .

hi there just a few tips. don't put a space between the word that the punctuation is attached to and the punctuation

i.e you were not there , I was

Correction: you were not there, I was

Since this is a suspense story you don't need to put extra wording where there doesn't need to be to make it more gripping

hope that helps   

red for spelling mistakes
green for grammar
for additions
blue for other word suggestions

Perhaps we should do as well!

It's sunny today. I drew the curtain to let the light come in the room to brighten the place. Early in the morning, the light hurts the eyes. But who cares? It is the beginning of Spring and no one wants to miss the morning’s light.

Birds are singing in the yard. You could say they feel lovely when they see the sun shining in the sky. You need not look outside or watch your clock when you are asleep; their songs herald the start of the day. Then you say to yourself, "why am I still asleep? The cool breeze is blowing everywhere, sparrows are singing and the Sun might take away her light from here. I should wake up and do something interesting". Today is another day and I am ready to see what it has for me.

We have made some changes to our yard this year. We had an old water tanker with tall legs that was leaning. Its four legs were fifty centimetres deep in the earth and their surroundings were covered with concrete. Yet now, after about twenty years of its construction, the soil around its legs were washed out which became a great deal of concern . We cut its legs and put it in the backyard on the ground. It now means that we have more area to plant flowers or even some vegetables. It is fabulous to take your vegetables from the yard for your meals. My mother prepared the ground for vegetable bed. She wants to plant parsley; it is considered a vigorous plant that tolerates cold weather very well. She could not disregard cress; although it is a fragile plant. She also planted other herbs like dill and radish. You cannot see any trace of them though since their seeds are still in the ground. Imagination of what the garden would be like in one month makes me smile. I bet it would be really beautiful.

God resurrects the whole world every spring and gave them another chance to live. He is not still disappointed from human being. Perhaps we should do as well!

very good overall just added some words to strengthen your note I didn't understand your last 2 sentences that are highlighted did you mean "he is not disappointed with human beings"  

red for spelling mistakes
green for grammar
pink for additions
blue for other word suggestions

My visit to the Military museum

I went to the Military museum with my friends. We went there because we had to do some howework for our lecturer. We were there to observe what our national heroes did for our country. To see what they did to free my country from the colonisers.

There was weaponry, paintings, clothing worn by them, etc. The guide told us the story, we took notes and listened carefully. It's really good to know the history of your country. Do you have this kind of museum in your country?

We made a miniature drama about DI/TII rebellion and presenting it in the class. The lecturer gave us perfect score! I'm so happy!!

hope it helps 

red for spelling mistakes 

green for grammar 

for additions

blue for other word suggestions 

REAL by Takehiko Inoue

I read a manga (Japanese comic), titled REAL by Takehiko Inoue. The story is about three teenage boys. They are basketball players and love basketball very much.

The first boy, named Tomomi Nomiya, is a drop-out who was a basketball player in senior high school. He doesn't seem to care about anything else besides basketball. After he dropped out, he decided to continue playing basketball by joining a team called TOKYO LIGHTNING.

Nomiya accidentaly met Kiyoharu Togawa, the second boy. Kiyoharu's leg was amputated when he was in junior high school due to a sickness. (I forgot the name hehe). But it was something about his bone, so the doctor decided to amputate his leg. Kiyoharu plays a wheel-chair basketball with his team called TIGER and he chose to become a national wheel-chair player in japan.

The third boy is Takahashi Hisanobu. He went to the same school as Nomiya. A 'high-level-high-schooler', an 'A rank' person, 'the best out of all his friends', that's all Takakashi thought about. He's a basketball player too along with Nomiya, although their relationship wasn't that good. Takahashi got hit by truck when he tried to run away from a man whose bicycle was stolen by Takahashi and his friend, Fumika. Now Takahashi stayed in hospital. He was very shocked after hearing the doctor say that it was imposible for him to walk again after this accident. But he didn't give up, he is undergoing rehabilitation at the hospital to be able to play basketball again someday.

These three boys are related in an unique way, I think. They love basketball very much and they're trying to pass the obstacles they're facing.
I love this manga very much. I am waiting the 11th (you only used nd with 2 as a unit ie 2nd 22nd 52nd etc) volume to be released in Indonesia. The 12th (except this one :D) volume of this manga was released in Japan recently; so I must wait for months or a year for this manga to be released. :(
If you are interested in a story about sport mixed with psychology, you must read this manga! :D

I've collected Tekehiko Inoue's manga like Slam Dunk, Vagabond and this one, REAL. I hope an Indonesian publisher will release other good mangas. :)

I hope this helps, if you're confused about anything dont hesitate to ask.  

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

Hello
My name is Shatha , I'm from Jordan and i live in The UAE.
My native language is Arabic, i can help people who wish to learn it.
I have to improve my English because i can't enter a university here if i don't pass TOEFL or IELTS exam.
I need help, especially with speaking, i have never spoken in English until now! or I especially need help with speaking 
I'm also learning Japanese as a hobby and i want to practice it here as well.
I enjoy reading, it's my favorite hobby.

Please help me
Thank you
:)

The purple text is for alternative wording to advance your writing skills 

Hope it helps 

a note

Yameen,
I've gone to the library to return the book and bring a new one.
I'll be home at 6 o'clock.
Don't forget to wash the dishes and to buy us some chocolates.
Have a good day. (Alternative) 
Shatha