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  • Corrected
    I wish I could, but....

    I want to go somewhere. For example, I want to go to a restaurant<s>, to</s> and eat delicious food, <s>going</s> go to an Onsen, go shopping, etc. I haven't gone anywhere for almost two weeks <s>for</s> because of Coronavirus. I wonder <s>if</s> when this issue will be <s>finished?</s> resolved. Actually, I am planning on going to Cebu next month. However, <s>Maybe</s> maybe I will not be able to go to Cebu <s>such an</s> under the current situation. I know it can't be helped but I <s>wish</s> hope this issue will <s>be</s> end soon and <s>wish</s> hope my friends who live <s>in</s> around the world are safe.

    僕が変えた言葉とか分からなければぜひメッセージしてください！
    0 voted
    March 17, 2020
    0
  • Corrected
    0 voted
    July 25, 2019
    0
  • Corrected
    I understood what you were getting at in your writing. I would rewrite this paragraph as follows:

    A Substitute for Humanity

    Reading books can be thought of as a substitute for thinking, just as computers can be used for calculation, and different forms of media can serve as a way for people to discover their own personal joy in life.

    Additionally, the advancement of technology is leading to potential substitutions for the five senses.

    Attitudes towards this topic have served as a warning towards the potential impact of this.

    When people give up their natural thoughts and emotions, they can lose their sense of humanity.



    This is also a pretty advanced topic so please understand that it may be hard for even some native English speakers to get these thoughts across, so please don't be disheartened by all of my changes! I see great potential in your writing and I'm sure I would be able to help you improve it if you would be interested in booking some lessons with me. 僕は日本語も話せますけど読むのはちょっと苦手なので、一緒に話してみれば伝えたいことをもっと正確に表現することとか手伝えますよ！
    0 voted
    July 25, 2019
    1
  • Corrected
    The Final Play

    I have been doing activities <s>of</s> relating to <s>theater</s> theatrical plays as my hobby since when I was 23 years old.

    I belong to <s>a</s> an amateur theater troupe in Nagoya <s>besides</s> separate from my work, and we perform a play at a theater every 6 months.

    This time, we will <s>do that</s> perform in October, so the director announced <s>those casts</s> the cast of the play and we will start rehearsing <s>it</s> soon.

    My role is the main character, so I have to memorize many lines of the script.
    It's been a long time <s>to act</s> since I acted the main role, so I am anxious that <s>if</s> I might make mistakes in the play.

    This time will be my final acting performance for time being.
    I will stop those activities to go to university next year.
    <s>Anyway</s> Anyways, I will do my best for the play and enjoy acting as much as possible.



    <em>Great writing Noriko! I can tell you must really love theater, and acting in general. What is the play you are doing this time about?</em>

    <em>When you say "besides" in the phrase "I belong to an amateur theater troupe in Nagoya besides my work," do you mean that the theater troupe is near your work, or separate from your work? I assumed you meant separate, but if you meant to say that it is located near your work, you should instead replace "besides" with "near."</em>

    <em>Your writing is very good and I would love to be able to help you further improve! Feel free to book a trial lesson with me to see if we would be a good match!</em>

    <em>ちなみに僕は日本語も話せますから、伝えにくい事とかあればぜひ日本語で話してもオッケーですよ！</em>
    0 voted
    July 25, 2019
    2
  • Corrected
    About my favorite movie ''Harry Potter''

    I like watching <s>movie</s> movies. The Harry Potter <s>sereise</s> series are <s>one</s> some of my favorite movies.
    Today I'll <s>explaine</s> explain the story of Harry Potter.

    This is the story of a man in a magical world. When Harry Potter was a baby, his parents were killed by a dark wizard named <s>Voldemord</s> Voldemort with <s>a</s> magic but he <s>could</s> survived.
    He was raised by a horrible uncle and his family. They told him that he was not only a wizard but also a <s>surviver</s> survivor who knocked down <s>Voldemord</s> Voldemort when he was <s>11</s> 1 years old.
    After that he grew up, went to a magic school and made amazing friends there.
    He tried to take revenge on Voldemort with them. Finally, they beat Voldemort.

    My favorite episode is ''Harry Potter and the <s>philosofer's stone</s> Philosopher's Stone''. I really enjoyed the scene where they were playing <s>quiddich</s> Quiddich and <s>walk</s> walked around Hogsmead.





    <em>Hello Saori! I enjoyed your summary of the Harry Potter series! I can feel your passion for the series through your writing!</em>

    <em>I noticed you sometimes add an "e" to the end of words where it doesn't belong. I know this can be hard because English has many words that have a silent "e", but this is just something that more reading and writing practice should take care of.</em>

    <em>Another tricky thing is with "survivor." It can be confusing how some words referring to people end with "er" and others with "or", but again this is just a matter or practice and learning to recognize which word uses which based on your own previous knowledge.</em>

    <em>Also, I noticed that sometimes you spelled "voldemort" as "Voldemord" with a "d." In Japanese is his name written as "ヴォルデモート" or "ヴォルデモード"?</em>

    <em>As for my correction on "Philosopher's Stone," Since it is in the title of the movie, those words should be capitalized. "Quiddich" is also capitalized as it is the name of a fictional sport, and therefore not considered a proper common word in English.</em>


    <em>I really enjoyed your writing and would love to be able to continue helping you improve your English skills! Feel free to book a trial lesson with me to see if we would be a good match!</em>

    <em>ちなみに僕は日本語も話せますから、伝えにくい事とかあればぜひ日本語で話してもオッケーですよ！</em>
    0 voted
    July 25, 2019
    1
  • Corrected
    WILDLIFE

    I watched "WILDLIFE" today.

    There <s>are fewer</s> aren't many cinemas that are showing this film, so I went to the Ebisu Garden Cinema.
    I can go anywhere, for Jake Gyllenhaal.
    Although, I wasn't expecting to enjoy it that much because of the story was a kind of <s>the</s> a family drama and main roles are the wife and son.
    <s>Well,</s> However, I <s>could</s> fully <s>enjoy</s> enjoyed the film. It was so good.
    Of course, as you know, Jake Gyllenhaal was perfect, and <s>also,</s> the actress who played the wife was awesome.
    The son was 14 years old.
    Despite the fact that I hate teenagers, I was so moved and I thought "Hey, you come with me, come to my place".
    The best thing was the color of the movie.
    It was not only landscapes but also costumes, cars, <s>and</s> etc. I really like the taste of the colors. I would like you to watch it on the big screen.
    I’m sure that the director is an actor and he is young. He is really talented, isn’t he?
    I <s>don’t</s> won't talk much about details because it would be a spoiler, but <s>this is</s> it was a very good movie.
    <s>Maybe it’s going to finish showing in shortly</s> They may be no longer showing it soon so if you are interested in it, go to the cinema as soon as possible.



    <em>Great writing Shino! I will look into this movie. Your review definitely makes the film seem enticing!</em>

    <em>I added in a couple commas and made them bold but it may be hard to tell. After the word "perfect" when you said "Jake Gyllenhaal was perfect," and after the word "cars" in "custumes, cars, etc."</em>

    <em>Also, when you say "I’m sure that the director is an actor and he is young," this should probably be rewritten as "The director is a young actor."</em>

    <em>Overall your writing conveys a sense of fun and humor, and it was a delight to read! I would love to read more and help you further improve! Feel free to book a trial lesson with me to see if we would be a good match!</em>

    <em>ちなみに僕は日本語も話せますから、伝えにくい事とかあればぜひ日本語で話してもオッケーですよ！</em>
    0 voted
    July 25, 2019
    1
  • Corrected
    Compliance in Japanese Society

    In Japanese society, it has <s>been long</s> long been that every person and company is required to be compliant: not only politicians who are supposed to hold responsibility for their every remark and action, but also ordinary individuals who have the right to say anything freely as long as it doesn't hurt others.
    There have been a lot of cases <s>that</s> in which companies <s>which</s> get criticized <s>as</s> for including racism or gender inequality messages <s>on</s> in their advertisements, and were obliged to remake them <s>soon</s> swiftly.
    Although we have become able to comment to other's behavior easily thanks to the development of IT technology as if doing so is the behavior of a good citizen, it is <s>undoubtful</s> without doubt that people have started criticizing and getting lambasted<s>, though it is unnecessary,</s> unnecessarily because of them.

    Thank you for reading this. I was planning to write about compliance issues while linking to Japanese news for the past few days, but I <s>lost my way</s> got sidetracked. <s>I'm glad</s> I would appreciate if you could give me alternative phrases or vocabulary related to this topic. >_<




    <em>Great writing Waltz! I have noticed these sorts of trends here in America too, so it is interesting to hear your perspective. I also think it may be more clear if you specified that the compliance you are referring to is specifically in regards to the expectations put on politicians, companies, and individuals by Japanese society.</em>

    <em>Your English writing ability is very good and I would enjoy reading more of your writing and helping you further improve! Feel free to book a trial lesson with me to see if we would be a good match!</em>

    <em>ちなみに僕は日本語も話せますから、伝えにくい事とかあればぜひ日本語で話してもオッケーですよ！</em>

    0 voted
    July 25, 2019
    1
  • Corrected
    <s>my whole day life [the exam season!!]</s>
    My Entire Day [Exam Season!!]

    <s>for</s> <s>i</s> I am <s>still</s> a college student, and today <s>i had my</s> I took the CET ,which is a test for <s>chinese</s> Chinese students who are learning <s>english</s> English. Though I was in a hurry <s>when I was doing</s> while taking my test, I still finished it on time. (I think the <s>arrangement in the aspect</s> amount of time is unreasonable. Can't I <s>At</s> at least <s>I can</s> have 5 more <s>minites</s> minutes to check my answer sheet<s>,can I</s>?). After that, I watched a talk show on my laptop. I love talk shows, comedies, and <s>that kind of</s> similar things so much. I like Michael <s>Mcintyre</s> McIntyre！！And then, I just wrote down the outline of my major and <s>started to have</s> had another round of review, <s>for it's the</s> because exam season is around the corner. Maybe it's not <s>a</s> good <s>option</s> to end a day with rounds of review<s>,</s>. I <s>will try not to fail </s>want to do well on the exam and <s>gain</s> have a <s>happing</s> happy ending <s>this</s> to the semester.

    <em>Great work! I noticed you tend not to put a space after commas and periods, but I would definitely recommend doing so. It makes reading a lot easier. You also sometimes said certain phrases in more words than necessary, but I could tell what you were trying to say. Some of the phrases you wrote are not grammatically incorrect, but I still corrected to make them more similar to how a native speaker would express the same thing. Also, a weird thing about English names is that usually, when someone has "Mc" at the beginning of their name, the next letter is also capitalized, like in "McIntyre." Overall you did a great job, and I hope this helps!</em>
    0 voted
    June 15, 2019
    1