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Miz
Japanese
Oct 18, 2017
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  • Posted
    語彙の連取 あの研究所の人は鞄を持って行って、郵便局までさんぽしました。それから、鞄を持って行って、郵便局に入りました。 「すみません、質問がある」と言いました。「郵便局の田中さんはどこ。彼に何かがあげたいだ。」 研究所の人の顔は赤くなっていました。郵便局の人々はこの研究所の人を見て、心配しました。 誰かが「すみません。田中さんはここにいない」と言いました。「今外で昼ご飯を食べます。」 研究所の人は「外でどこ」と聞きました。研究所の人の顔はもっともっと赤くなりました。 突如、田中さんは外で入りました。「小林！えええ、うそ！まだ死ななかった？」と叫びました。「どうして。。。」 「まだ、バカ。俺の顔は弱々しくて、とても赤い！だから死ななかったよ」と言いました。「バカが当たりたいけど、まだ。。。」 「残念だ。お前の顔は赤すぎになった、醜くなった、英字新聞の人はお前を見れば、「あれがもう死んでいる」と思う。」 小林さんの顔はもっともっともっと赤くなっていました。 「田中！！！」 「小林！！！」 「田中バカ、お前に何かがあげたい。俺の鞄と拳だ。どうぞ！」 そして、二人は拳で話すのは始めました。郵便局の人は「ファイト！ファイト！ファイト！」と叫びました。
    May 30, 2019
    1
    0
  • Corrected

    The experiment of blood types

    Nowadays in Japan, most people know their own blood type. But until the beginning of the 20th century, blood type didn't exist. At that time, a blood transfusion was left up to chance. Some people were saved by a blood transfusion and other people were killed by a blood transfusion. How it happened.  The unpredictable quality of this procedure changed when Karl Landsteiner experimented about this problem.

    He focused on blood aggregation. First, he separated the blood into the blood cell and plasma. He mixed one’s person's blood cell and with another’s plasma. He observed the reaction on various combinations. There were combinations aggregating or not aggregating.

    He discovered it had a regularity. Based on this results, he distinguished the main blood types.

    After that, it was found from Karl Landsteiner’s experiment that the main reason of blood transfusion accident was blood type incompatibility. Blood transfusion accidents decreased sharply. This experiment contributed to the development of medicine.

    Comments:

    1. "Nowadays" instead of "now"; this could just be my personal preference, but "nowadays" more closely means "these days" and "now" has more of a connotation of "at this very moment".

    2. Did you mean to ask "How did it happen?" I changed the question to the opening of a new sentence and attached it to the next sentence. Is this what you meant to say?

    3. When you say "he mixed one's blood cell", do you mean of a specific person? Or a specific type of blood cell? As in "he mixed one (type of) blood cell.

    4. The verb "to mix" uses the subordinate conjunction "with" or the conjunction "and". For me, "with" sounds better in this sentence, but it's up to you.

    Final rewrite:

    Nowadays in Japan, most people know their own blood type. But until the beginning of the 20th century, blood type didn't exist. At that time, a blood transfusion was left up to chance. Some people were saved by a blood transfusion and other people were killed by a blood transfusion. The unpredictable quality of this procedure changed when Karl Landsteiner experimented about this problem.

    He focused on blood aggregation. First, he separated the blood into the blood cell and plasma. He mixed one person's blood cell with another’s plasma. He observed the reaction on various combinations. There were combinations aggregating or not aggregating.

    He discovered it had a regularity. Based on this results, he distinguished the main blood types.

    After that, it was found from Karl Landsteiner’s experiment that the main reason of blood transfusion accident was blood type incompatibility. Blood transfusion accidents decreased sharply. This experiment contributed to the development of medicine.

    Well done!

    0 voted
    October 6, 2017
    1
  • Posted
    九月・三十日・土曜日 今日は日本語学校を始まります。それから、母とファーマーズマーケットに行きます。今朝、りんごだけ食べます。妹は大学でボレーボールゲームがあります。私と母は妹を見ます。 「今朝、りんごだけ食べて、日本語学校を始まります」はいいですか？ ありがとございます！
    September 30, 2017
    3
    0
  • Posted
    こんにちはみんなさん！ アナです。カリフォルニア州で住んでいます。三年前に大学を終えました。大学で一年に一時間ぐらい日本語を勉強しました。たくさん日本語を忘れてけど、頑張らないと！ 来年、JET Programme を携われたいです。日本で英語を教えたいです。今、アカデミックチューターですけど、作家になりたいです。ジョージ・R・R・マーティンの氷と炎の歌が大好きです。 じゃあ、終わります。
    September 21, 2017
    2
    0
  • Corrected

    Magic in the city

    Hello boys and girls!

    I'm watching "The Charmed" and you know when I was in  (at??) middle school, girls from my class thought they are were witches :D To tell you the truth, I was in "The magic club" too, hehe. We had imagined the potions and spells to tried try to change our grades with a magic. It was very fun! Nevertheless we are grown up and "The Charmed" is a nice memory of childhood.

    Fully rewritten:

    Hello boys and girls!

    I'm watching Charmed and, you know, when I was in middle school, girls from my class thought they were witches. :D To tell you the truth, I was in the magic club too, hehe. We imagined potions and spells to try to change our grades with magic. It was very fun! Nevertheless, we are grown up (now) and Charmed is a nice memory of childhood.

    1. TV Shows and movies are usually italicized in English instead of put in "quotes" (at least in the US).

    2. I changed "potions and spells tried to change" into "potions and spells to try to change" because "to try" implies cause and effect, which is what you were going for, I think.

    3. In the last sentence, "we are grow up" was changed to "we are grown up" because the verb "to grow" changes spelling to "grown" if you are using it as a past tense participle.

    For example: We grow. (<--This is in present tense.) We grew. (<--This is in simple past tense.) We are grown. / We have grown. (Both of these sentences use "grow" as a past participle, and when grow is used in this way, it changes spelling to "grown".) Some more English verbs do a weird spelling change when they get turned into past participles:

    Infinitive form: to fly;     Simple past: flew;     Past Participle: flown;

    Infinitive form: to eat;    Simple past: ate;     Past Participle: eaten;


    Well done! Keep practicing :)


    0 voted
    September 12, 2017
    1