Correct my mistakes please.

those These two charts shows us to the development of world population. (Use "these" if you are holding the charts, or are very near them right now. Use "those" if you are talking about charts that are not close to you or that you saw sometime in the past)

There are two charts; (Good use of the semi-colon) the first table shows the development of world population in between 1880 to 2100. The second table shows the development of urban population in between 2005 to 2030; furthermore, the second table shows two different sections, which are developed regions and developing regions. (This part is okay but I would write:<em> </em><em>...sections. One is an example of a fully developed region; the other is an example of a developing region.</em>)
The first graph shows that the world population had been increasing till <em>will increase</em> until the year 2050 and the among of population about 9 billions <em>when the total number of people will reach about 9 million. </em>and Then the world population will have decreased rapidly to about 7 millions.

The second table shows; us that the population in developed regions started to decrease in the year 2005 and will continue to decrease dropped down respectively until the year 2030, when the amount of people of people living in , and the among of urban areas population will have fallen from 1.3 million to 1.1 million. have been falling. The other section, which shows that developing regions have been increasing till since 2005 and will continue to increase until the year 2030. In 2005 the number of people living in developing regions developing person was 2.4 million but in by 2030 this number will have increased to 4 million. 

Last word: To conclude, the new generation prefers to live in developing regions instead of (or, "rather than") developed regions.

Happy New Year from JAPAN!

Hi there, how are you doing?
2014 is coming soon! Will you be having a party for the new year celebration?

In This year[space](2013) I became a university student, thenand I will be a sophomore in April.
It's all going too fast! I was studying hard for entrance examinations of universities around this time last year.
But I want to quit my university now because I'd like to study abroad! So, I am studying English for the TOEFL ibt test.
This test is very tough for me and my English is terrible, but I will do my best!

In addition, I went to Cambodia last summer bywith my university program. This was my first time to have visited Cambodia.[space]I had really a wonderful time in there. Especially,when I was enjoying atthe Cambodian market and heritagessites.[space]Ankgor Wat is amazing! I have never having seen such a beautiful scenery before :) If I can go to there again, I will go to many Cambodian heritages sites. Then I am sure that I will be taking photos all the time because I love taking photos!


I hope you guys have a wonderful year, 2014!
Thank you for reading.

Very good, your English is not bad at all. Good luck studying abroad! Do your best! :)

Self-introduction

Hello. My name is Sakura. I'm seventeen. I live in Yokohama. I have a sister. I like listen to music,[a space comes after a comma]my favorite musicians are ONE OK ROCK,YUI and P!NK. I like noodles, especially I love spaghettis[spaghetti is singular]. My pet phrase is "ほんとに？".
Recently,[a space comes after a comma]I’m addicted to the comic books "Strobo Edge[Normally we capitalise book titles]". Thank you.

Hi Sakura, your English is almost perfect and you are a really interesting person! I love manga too, I will look up "Stobo Edge" as I've not heard of that one. What's is about? I really like OK ONE ROCK and Yui too. What does the phrase "hontoni" mean in English? A what does it mean to have a "pet phrase"?Have a nice day! :)