Exercise: Letter to My College Cafeteria

TASK DESCRIPTION:

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements.

Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria, say what is wrong with it and suggest how it could be improved

MY LETTER:

Dear mManager,

I am a student of Shanghai University, who loves your cafeteria and eats there every lunchtime. I am writing to present you with some of the cafeteria's weaknesses and suggest some measures to tackle them.

First of all, I really appreciate your restaurants for its reasonable prices and delicious and nutritious food. That is why I always eat there for lunch though there are a handful of other restaurants on campus.

However, I think you need to consider some of the weaknesses seriously and take real measures to handle them to make it more popular. First, the dining tables and chairs do not match in height. You should replace the tables or chairs. Worse still, sometimes the floor is wet and slippery, which results in a considerable number of accidents. A friend of mine slipped and fell last Friday, and struggled to get up with my help. You should always keep the floor dry. If your employees overwork and do not have time to make sure this it is possible, you should hire more people. If this still is not possible, put on out a sign to warn your guests of it.

Anyway, I love your restaurant and trust you are willing to improve your restaurant it. Please seriously consider my concerns and suggestions seriously. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Melaminefree Wang

 

** Great job! All of the suggested changes are fairly minor.  The last suggested change I highlighted in blue to indicate that it was a change of preference rather than of necessity. You write well, but there's always room to improve. Keep working hard!

Impression of “Great Expectations”

In my opinion, Pip's inner battles of will have something to do with ("are related to" would be better) the social background of Victorian England. Although most people were satisfied with the industrial and political preeminence of England during the Victorian era, they also suffered from a sense of anxiety, a sense of emptyiness, and a sense of alienation, the speed of the development in technology was beyond the mental adaptive faculty of people. (The relationship between the text leading up to "...and a sense of alienation" and what follows it is not smooth or clear. I might say, "...and a sense of alientation, each stemming from the difficulty of adapting to the rapid development of technology.")
　As far as I'm concerned (this is fine for informal writing but probably should not be used in a formal essay), this moral dilemma not only appears in Victorian England. Nowadays, on one hand, China has becomes increasingly important oin the global stage, on the other hand, such progress in commerce and industry has led to neglect of some social problems.
　We don't have to look far afield to find "Pips" in our everyday life. For instance, some girls would pinch and scrape for half a year or more to buy an LV bag. As far as I'm concerned (you say this above; in order to avoid redundancy, I suggest changing this to "In my opinion,..."), the orientation of brand should meet the needs of the target customers' experience. Obviously, schoolgirls are not targeting customers of LV bags (do you mean that schoolgirls are not the target customers?). What's more, most of the schoolgirls can't "understand" the bag either. Most of the time, they bought the bags not because they think those bags are beautiful but because of the logo. "Something darkly humorous and tragic lies at the heart of a scene where a completely oblivious individual stages a ridiculous spectacle and does not hear the laughs enjoyed at his expense." However, if there's no sneer at all, should we feel relaxed?
　In today's China, one's social status does not depend on his interior quality but on his consumption: the brand of his suits, the the location of his house, the number of his private yachts, etc. If Pip had lived in today's China, he would not have felt uneasy in the party (not sure of the intended meaning here; do you mean "at a party of" or "in the company of"?) of the upper class. Of course, the premise is that he has purchased an AUDI A 8 or a Rolls Royce, for example no matter where the money came from.
　Shakespeare once said, "One night, we can build a nouveau riche, three generations to cultivate an aristocrat." (really? based on a quick search of the internet, and my familiarity with some of his writing, this doesn't sound like something Shakespeare said :>) In China, there's no need of for an aristocratic system, which gives priority to a few. Instead, we are looking forward to the a noble spirit, which not only concerns individual interests but also safeguards social justice for the spirit of the age represents the taste of the time. (I'm not sure what this last phrase means :) If deleted, though, the sentence makes perfect sense)

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Good job! Your writing is very impressive. You obviously have studied English very hard. Keep practicing!

Peter Pan's notebook entry: Mar 30, 2011

Today begins with a nice start [1]. It's my third week in the new company. I am gettling familiar with the new job, getting along well with colleagues, and my boss seems to attach more importance to me [2]. Everything was going <strike>on</strike> well <strike>since</strike> until this afternoon i went into boss's office and helped to wash her bowl when she was away (we have kitchen and boss sometimes cooks).

Because my seat is [just/right] [3] outside of the boss's office, I just happened to see the dirty bowl and went to wash it just with my instinct. I didn't mean to <strike>ingratiate</strike>  [curry favor with the/suck up to the/kiss the butt of the] boss [4], it's just my habit to keep things clean and it's not a big deal in my eye. I didn't want to make it public.

But then I recieved the words from my colleague. She said that she would <strike>never do the clean</strike> not have done that if she were me. She thought people may mind others touching their bowls, and boss would suspect me <strike>if i</strike>  of stealing something from the office. But the thing<strike>s</strike> is was that she saw me <strike>went</strike> go in for only one second and I did not touch or <strike>watch</strike> look at anything [5]. She made this comment<strike>s</strike> three hours after I washed the bowl. She could have told me immediately if she thought i was doing something improper, for there were only two of us in the company today. All i did was try<strike>ing</strike> to help.

What's more, she said <font class="Apple-style-span" color="#FF0000">I</font> should leave my notebook in the office. Why should i do that? it's my private notebook. Her meaning was that the boss would suspect if i took some information away. For God's sake, there is no secret information at all! Everyday we just use the internet information to work. Every piece of information i get is public on the web which anyone can get. If the boss requires us to keep secrets and leave everything in the office, of course i will do it. But the boss didn't ask us to do notes -- the reason i bring my notebook is because i <strike>am</strike> lack of experience and I want to learn. I am afraid to make mistakes. i take notes to make my job organized and sometimes i write a diary in it. It's a very personal thing with personal notes.

In addition, she just entered the company at the same time <strike>with</strike> as me, so how does she know what the boss <strike>suspect this and that</strike> thinks? But one thing she told which i <strike>never</strike> had not heard about yet was that our boss hired someone before who just wanted to learn how to operate a language school (we are a chinese school). That guy worked very hard, even worked overtime, and then left. She emphasized <strike>the</strike> "hard working," which seemed to be pointing at me, <strike>cause</strike> since i also work overtime.
She is older than me and has much more work experience than me. i respect her and take her as a guide. if she wants something, i'm <strike>just</strike> at her service. But i don't like to be accused [suspect], even she was just being kind <strike>enough to remind me</strike>. [6]

What she said sounded like playing me off against the boss. As far as i know, the boss is not so [suspicious] distrustful as she said. The boss is a nice girl who is just as young as me, i don't think she, the boss, would act so [suspicious] devious, like an old fox. In my eye, she, the colleague, is too sensitive and somewhat <strike>doubtful</strike> [suspicious]. There's something going on in her mind, i just don't know what it is <strike>can't imagine</strike>. i disgree with her in many points, but i can't say it aloud.

1. Putting "begin" and "start" together is redundant. Consider using, "Today began nicely" or "Today had a nice start."

2. To attach importance to something means to consider something important. I'm not sure what you're expressing, but this phrase doesn't sound appropriate. It might be better to say, "My boss values my work."
3. In this situation, just and right mean the same thing. Use one or the other.
4. In this case, ingratiate would be technically correct if you said, "I wasn't trying to ingratiate myself to the boss." However, I think the meaning you are trying to convey is that you were not doing it just to make a superior like you. Also, you may substitute "I wasn't trying to" for "I didn't mean." "I didn't mean" implies that it was not your intention to do something, but that you did it. "I wasn't trying to" implies that your intentions were pure. I know the difference is subtle. :)
5. "Watch" means to look in a sustained, continuous fashion. If you were in the office, you probably only gazed at something for a moment, so it's better to say "look at" here.
6. Be careful of the use of the word suspicious. I inserted it once where it was appropriate, but "suspect" and "suspicious" are used slightly differently in English from how 怀疑 and 可疑 are used in Chinese. I'm probably not qualified to explain, but pay extra attention when using those English words.
7. The letter "i," when it is alone in a sentence and carries the meaning of 我, should always be capitalized. The "i" in "I'm" should always be capitalized as well.

Anyway, your English writing is very impressive! Keep working hard!

Kim's notebook entry: changes

Today's China <strike>cannot be</strike> is not the same as it used to be <strike>past few decadesgo</strike>. <strike>The </strike>Dramatic changes <strike>has</strike> have <strike>immersed in</strike> enveloped the country<strike>'s growth</strike>, even in tiny details. Some changes that have emerged are unimaginable y<strike>ou can’t image before ,but it shows itself . </strike>

When I was young , we <strike>don’t</strike> didn't have much money to buy <strike>the</strike> clothes and school bags from the shop. <strike>even</strike> I didn’t have a chance to visit the stores in my county -- it seemed too luxurious for us. My mother bought <strike>the</strike> low-cost material from the market and made <strike>them</strike> clothes with hers Sartorius (?). My sister and I would dress the same: the same material, same color, same style cloth. But now,you can see different kinds of clothes in the big malls and fashion shows <strike>from</strike> on TV, colorful and of good quality. People have more choices now and <strike>everyone won’t</strike> no one likes to wear the same as others.

<strike>How</strike> What about the <strike>house</strike> condition of housing? I won’t take the example of the big city, like Beijing , Shanghai or Shenzhen, but in my hometown, in a small count<strike>r</strike>y, I can see the big changes every year when I go home for Spring Festival. Now, most of the villagers have their own <strike>double floors</strike> two-story house <strike>and</strike> with advanced household appliances, such as a telephone, color TV set, refrigerator<strike>y</strike>, even a personal computer. Compared with a few decades ago, only having a black and white TV set, <strike>contacting relation with</strike> communicating by letter: this is <strike>are</strike> really great progress for us .

How about me ? I will talk more about that next time.


Very good! I like how you wrote very boldly in the first paragraph. Some things were expressed a little awkwardly, but you should keep trying. Also, remember the importance of tense in European languages. When you're talking about the past, it's very important to change the verb. 加油！

Both seem fine to me, though if you were to substitute an abstract object for "the sign", such as "love" or "beauty," you would remove "the." The grammar sounds more like that of a college professor writing to impress his colleagues than something said in casual conversation. Though I suppose if you're speaking to an audience that is receptive to a statement that could be innocently construed as philosophical/artistic nonsense, I'm sure they'll forgive any grammatical idiosyncrasies. ;)

As an American, I am accustomed to much of the world disliking me for the nation that I come from. At the same time, there's no one I dislike because they come from a certain nation. I only dislike people because of their actions, not the actions of their group. On that note, it's difficult for me to understand why there exists so much antipathy between some of the peoples of East Asia. Perhaps it's because such attitudes are politically useful. From a cultural perspective, Chinese people and Japanese people are certainly different, but the gap is not insurmountable. I think it's best to let bygones by bygones. Anger hurts us all.

I'll attempt to provide some interesting feedback without creating too much offense. Since I am from a predominantly Christian nation, I'll address the question from that angle. Questions like this are frequently asked by people whose faith in God (or some other religion) has been shaken by a tragic event. It's also frequently asked by atheists or agnostics of an empiricist/scientific mindset who want to call into doubt the existence of God. The question is intended to demonstrate a contradiction between the Christian ideal of a merciful, loving, omnipotent God and one who would allow misery to be inflicted on humanity. Since I don't believe that a merciful, loving, omnipotent God would willfully inflict misery upon his people, I think that the Japan earthquake was simply the unfortunate result of the forces of nature wreaking havoc.