First notebook entry: Introducing myself

안녕하세요! 제 이름은 티파니 입니다. 미국에서 왔어요. 지금은 부산에 살아요. 이월에 왔어요. 그래서, 제 한국말 너무 안 좋아요! 하지만, 항상 공부해요. ^^

내가 중학교에 원어민이에요. 귀여운 학생들 있어요! 나는 음악 하고 영화들하고 주짓수 너무 좋아요!

한국사람 - 도와주세요! 한국말 할 수 있고 싶어요! 감사합니다. 그리고, 만나서 반갑습니다! <3

blue = capitalization and punctuation
pink = articles
orange = verbs
green = prepositions and conjunctions
red = nouns and pronouns
violet = adjectives and adverbs
light blue = my notes

It's Gary!! Haha<strike>hahahahahahahahahahahaaha</strike>!!!

Hi!  How are you? <strike>I'm fine, and you?</strike> (I didn't ask! ^^) Haha<strike>hahahahahahahahaha</strike>!!  Anyway, I will tell you about myself.  My name is... Gary.  But I'm not really Gary :D  My real Korean name is Woo Kyuseok (or Kyusuk).  Don't be confused; Woo is a Korean family name! Haha. 

I'm 23 years old. I wish I <strike>will be</strike> were younger <strike>than now</strike><strike>.</strike> because my skin and body are <strike>too bad</strike> worse than when I was 20 <strike>age</strike>.

My major is <strike>teaching for</strike> Korean language education.  So I can teach Korean to anyone.
But I should study English<strike>.</strike> because I <strike>visited</strike> came <strike>in</strike> to the US to study English.

So, I live in Georgia.  I have two roommates.  They are very kind to me.  My hobbies are just talking, writing,<strike>and</strike> making friends, and playing computer games.  When I was korea, I spent a lot of time <strike>to</strike> playing computer games.  But now, I don't play them.  <strike>That don't have any means.</strike>  (Sorry, I don't understand this sentence.  Maybe you mean, "I don't have any way to play them."?)

I hope to make a lot of friends.  <strike>To</strike> Making friends is so interesting.  So, if I continue to make friends,
I can <strike>make</strike> have <strike>a</strike> good friends who will be with me forever.

blue = capitalization and punctuation
pink = articles
orange = verbs
green = prepositions and conjunctions
red = nouns and pronouns
violet = adjectives and adverbs
light blue = my notes

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

English is an essential part of my life. I hope that, with the help of this <strike>web-site</strike> website, I'll find many interesting English-speaking people and have some unforgettable conversations with them. )))

Very good job!  The corrections are very minor.

-You don't actually need to add the 'that', but I think it makes the sentence a little clearer and easier to read.
-You don't need a space after the apostrophe in 'I'll'.
-Add commas to set off clauses like 'with the help of this website'.  It makes your writing easier to read!
-Always capitalize the names of languages.
-Adding 'some' makes the sentence more natural.  For example, I can say, "I want bananas," but it sounds a little forceful.  It's more natural to say, "I want some bananas."

Your English seems great!  Keep writing :)

blue = capitalization and punctuation
pink = articles
orange = verbs
green = prepositions and conjunctions
red = nouns and pronouns
violet = adjectives and adverbs
light blue = my notes

Korean Subway Fighting

I saw <strike>one</strike> a video <strike>that is one</strike> of an old woman and <strike>one</strike> a young girl fighting. <strike>The video is</strike> It started with the <strike>grandma</strike> old woman saying, "These things? These things?" and "Why did you sit with your legs crossed?" and the girl saying, "Who are you to me<strike>(</strike>? Don't go interfering in my business!"  Finally, the woman was so angry. So she <strike>caught</strike> grabbed her hair! The young girl screamed!  After a few seconds, the<strike>ir</strike> fighting <strike>was</strike> ended. Young girl was <strike>so</strike> crying so much<strike>,</strike> and said,  "I don't like Korea... I don't like Korea...".  Then she called someone.  The passengers said to the old woman, "You'd better calm down; older people should stay calm." Then the old woman was angry with them.  <strike>And</strike> She pushed <strike>her</strike> the girl to the side, and she went back to her seat. <strike>Until</strike> By then the young girl was crying.

That was a crazy situation. Maybe you <strike>are</strike> agree<strike>d</strike>. But that situation is not special because, on the Korean subway, <strike>often happen</strike> passengers often quarrel. Anyway, we should analyse that social phenomenon. Korea is influenced by <strike>the</strike> Confucian culture, so age is very important. But the young girl violated that custom. Recently, these <strike>situations is</strike> problems are growing. Of course, that video couldn't show <strike>all</strike> the whole situation. But we know the young girl couldn't deal with the crisis - or she is too badly <strike>girl</strike> behaved - and the old woman couldn't deal with herself. But I am surprised about another thing. Why didn't anyone stop them? They just said to them, "Please calm down!, Both of you guys <strike>same</strike>!" Of course, they couldn't deal with that situation well. But I don't think that was <strike>not </strike><strike>nice action</strike> right. [The negative comes before words like 'think', 'know' etc.  So, "I don't think that was right," not, "I think that wasn't right."]  I don't know <strike>all </strike><strike>that</strike> the whole situation, so I can't say <strike>them</strike> anything bad<strike>ly</strike> about them. But maybe Korean society has some problems.
I saw that video's comments. The old woman is a little famous <strike>that is</strike> for being crazy. She often provokes <strike>some</strike> quarrels. Maybe I have seen her too. So I can little understand the young girl's mind.
But she was saying, <strike>is</strike> "I don't like Korea!"<strike>.</strike> Then who is she? Maybe she grew up in another country<strike>.</strike>, <strike>Maybe</strike> so maybe she couldn't deal that crisis. Anyway, she is too young<strike>,</strike>.  She <strike>must</strike> should not say <strike>it</strike> that! She may feel like Korea is <strike>other</strike> a foreign country. If not, we can't sympathize with her.
Between crazy old people and <strike>no manners</strike> rude young people<strike> are conflict</strike>, Koreans <strike>is</strike> growing up in other countries <strike>is</strike> have problems <strike>and themselves</strike> with their identities. <strike>Those are Korea can't deal problem for a long time</strike>. [Sorry, I don't understand this sentence!]  I live in the US now. So that news is so sad<strike>ly</strike>. I hope that when I go back Korea, those problems are already solved <strike>clearly</strike>! :D


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Plz correct any wrong sentences!


VERY good job!  I know I corrected a lot, but I was being a perfectionist!  I wanted it to be perfect! :)  You are very easy to understand, and you use very difficult words and sentence structures.  I am so proud of you. :)  Also, thank you for writing about this story.  Many expats (외국인 - 'expat' is more polite than 'foreigner') are talking about this story now.  I think you have some very good ideas!

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

안녕하세요! 제 이름은 티파니 입니다. 미국에서 왔어요. 지금은 부산에 사라요. 이월에 갔어요. 그레서, 제 한국말 너무 안 좋아요! 하지만, 항상 공부해요. ^^

내가 중학교에 원어민이에요. 귀여운 학생들 있어요! 나는 음악 하고 용화들하고 주짓수 너무 좋아요!

한국사람 - 도와주세요! 한국말 할 수 있고 싶어요! 감사합니다. 그리고, 만나서 반갑습니다! <3