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Linguistics fascinates me, and I've loved Japanese for years, but I only started learning it seriously in January 2019. I've been a voracious reader and a grammar nerd since childhood, and now I work as a copyeditor and write fiction as a hobby. My goal is to be able to read and write in Japanese as fluently (and with as extensive a vocabulary) as I can in English. ケイシアと呼んでください。日本語が大好き、少し分かります。日本語を習っています。書けるのがよくしたいのでべんきょうをたくさんします。がんばっています！
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  • Corrected
    I struggle a lot with syntax and articles in the language I'm learning, too. I think they are probably the most challenging aspects of learning any new language. It can be hard to remember all the rules, so perhaps just memorization isn't the best way to go. Have you tried reading books in English? Gaining familiarity with syntax through repeated exposure to written forms of entertainment might help. You write well, so I presume that you can read fairly fluently. That should mean that you'd be able to absorb typical usage subconsciously while you read. Perhaps you could read a novel with a plot that interests you, or a non-fiction book on a topic you're interested in? If you don't know where to start, you could check out Goodreads.com for recommendations; on each book's page, they have a "readers also enjoyed" section, so you can search for a book you already like and find something similar.

    I've marked less natural phrasings with orange, more natural phrasings with purple, and corrections with green.

    _____


    I still can't cope with English syntax. Most of corrections I get are related to a non-English way to connect words and express things. Words are mostly right but their relationships are wrong. I don't know how to fix it; probably it's a matter of time and slow memorizing\memorization. [1] One has to think in English to make it right. I mostly can't do that. / For the most part, I can't do that. [2]

    One more problem is articles. I'm in despair [3] when I see that I'm still far from clearly understanding [4] how to use them. I know several general rules and try to use them intuitively, but make mistakes much more frequently than I correctly guess what to <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">choose</s> use. [5]

    Another problem is phrasal verbs, although I would say I master them step by step. This task is quite clear: nothing can help other than\besides memorization and practicing. [6]

    So, as you see I know "who my enemies are", and this is the only fact that makes me optimistic.

    _____


    1. Both words are grammatically correct here, but "memorization" is the more natural one.

    2. "Mostly" is grammatical, and some native English speakers would phrase the sentence the way you did, but I added another more common option.

    3. This is correct, natural, and grammatical, but you could also phrase it with the verb form of "despair": "I despair when I see..."

    4. You could phrase this as "I'm still far from clearly understanding how to use them" or "I'm still far from a clear understanding of how to use them." They're equally natural.

    5. I added "correctly" because "guess" is neutral; you could make a correct guess or an incorrect guess, so this adds clarity. "Choose" makes sense, but it is a little redundant with "guess" (guessing is a form of choosing), so "use" is a better option here. Alternatively, you could say "than I guess the right choice."

    6. Both "other than" and "besides" are correct and natural here. You can pick whichever you like better. "Practicing" is a gerund, and it is grammatically correct here, but since the noun "practice" exists, it'd be a slightly more natural choice to pair with the noun "memorization." "Memorizing and practicing" (both gerunds) would also be natural.


    Keep up the good work!
    0 voted
    August 29, 2019
    2
  • Corrected
    Hello, Karaageyoukai! Aura's corrections are very good, but since you used semicolons, I wanted to give you some phrasing options that used them as well.

    _____

    I ate beef merlot for dinner. Beef merlot is sliced (or cubed) beef steak cooked with vegetables like carrots, potatoes, and green beans in gravy sauce [1] (<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">M</s>maybe "wine sauce" because it is merlot? I am trying to describe what I ate without looking at the correct definition).
    I <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">have</s> had never <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">known</s> heard of "green beans" until I decided to write this post. This is because, in Japanese, green beans and kidney beans are essentially the same (they are called "<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">I</s>ingen"); [2] <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">but</s> however, there is a slight difference between them<s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">;</s>: [3] while kidney beans are called "<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">I</s>ingen," green beans are called "<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">S</s>saya-<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">I</s>ingen," meaning <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">=</s> "kidney beans in a (sword) case<s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">"</s>." [2]
    Words relating to food are still confusing to me<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">,</s>; [3] I need to study harder!

    _____

    Notes:

    1. "Gravy" is a type of sauce, so "gravy sauce" is redundant. You could use just "gravy," or you could use "wine sauce" or "wine gravy."

    2. Capitalizing foreign words is one way to differentiate them, but italicizing them (like Aura did) or putting them in quotation marks are more customary ways. In American English, commas and periods go inside those quotation marks; in British English, the punctuation goes outside the quotation marks. I've corrected your usage to American English punctuation, but your usage would be correct in Europe!

    3. Here are some notes and explanations about punctuation. I'm a punctuation nerd, so it got a little long, but I hope it'll be helpful for using the more obscure punctuation marks.

    Commas separate phrases or dependent clauses (collections of words that can't make a complete sentence on their own), and they are used with conjunctions. Semicolons separate independent clauses (collections of words that could make a complete sentence on their own); they are not used with conjunctions. Periods separate independent clauses and denote complete sentences. A semicolon looks like a period on top of a comma; you can think of semicolons as a hybrid between the two, joining like a comma but requiring an independent clause like a period.

    There are two main exception cases for semicolons. Although semicolons are not used with conjunctions, they can be used with adverbs such as "however," "regardless," and "nevertheless." In English, it's not good form to begin a sentence with "but"; however, it is normal to begin a sentence with a contrasting adverb, and "however" can follow a semicolon even though sometimes it is used like a conjunction. The other exception is for sentences that have a lot of nesting phrases and consequently have so many commas that the meaning is obscured. In such cases, semicolons can be used between phrases as extra-strong commas for clarity. For example, in the sentence "I went to dinner with my mother, an architect, her best friend, an interior designer, and my brother, an amateur magician," it is unclear whether you went to dinner with three people or five. "I went to dinner with my mother, an architect; her best friend, an interior designer; and my brother, an amateur magician," makes clear that you had dinner with three people and that you are giving us information about them.

    Colons are usually only seen separating hours, minutes, and seconds in timestamps, but they can be used to introduce a list or to introduce a new clause that elaborates on the previous clause. In the latter usage, they are much like semicolons, but they can be used with phrases, not just independent clauses. When used to introduce an elaborating clause, a colon can be used interchangeably with a single em dash—that long dash that is sometimes used in a pair like parentheses—but a colon is more formal than an em dash; it is primarily seen in academic writing and in British literature from the nineteenth century (e.g. Jane Austen, Charlotte Brontë).
    0 voted
    August 29, 2019
    1
  • Posted
    今日は「手作り」を覚えました。 よろしくおねがいします。私の文章を添削してください。私の目標は文法的な文章を書いて正確な意味合いを使いたいです。習っていない言葉がたくさんあるので、時々辞書で引いています。手伝って頂けると有難いです。 I'm still learning the kanji to apply to my existing vocabulary, so my writing is a mix of basic kanji and hiragana. If I don't know a word that I need, I try to find it in a dictionary, but that means I might not use it correctly or there might be a more accurate word for my meaning. My goals are to be grammatically accurate and to use words with the right nuance of meaning for the context. 今日の文章: 私の趣味はスタンプとコピックでカードを作っています。今日はインスタグラムで手作りカードをたくさん見ていました。クラフターの大半を見るはアメリカ人とドイツ人とスイス人とロシア人と韓国人です。しかし今日、日本人の女の人のクラフターを出会いました。彼女の名前はメグミです。メグミさんは日本語で手作りカードのついてを書き込みています。メグミさんからペーパークラフトの日本語の言葉を習いますね。メグミさんにフォローをするのいいですと思います。 Today's text: My hobby is making cards with stamps and Copics. Today, I was looking at a lot of handmade cards on Instagram. Most of the crafters I see are American, German, Swiss, Russian, and Korean. However, today I came across a Japanese woman who makes cards. Her name is Megumi. She writes about card-making in Japanese. I could learn the Japanese words for paper crafting from Megumi. I think it might be good to follow her. Notes: "日本人の女の人のクラフター" — I had trouble figuring out how to express "a person who [does a thing]" for "a Japanese woman who makes cards." Also, that is a lot of「の」! Is the「人」in「日本人の女の人」redundant? Should I have used「女性」instead? "出会う" — I did not meet her or talk to her; I happened to encounter her posts online. Is this word suitable for that? 時間をとっていただいてありがとうございます。Thank you for taking the time to help me.
    August 29, 2019
    2
    0
  • Corrected
    0 voted
    August 29, 2019
    0
  • Corrected
    0 voted
    August 25, 2019
    0
  • Corrected
    Hello, Karaageyoukai! I heard about lang-8 when I first started studying Japanese, but they weren't accepting new members. I was excited to discover that italki offered an alternative. It's nice to meet someone who used lang-8. I hope I can be of help!

    I've marked less natural phrases with orange, more natural phrases with purple, and corrections with green.
    _____

    This is my first post on italki. I was looking for a service like lang-8, which I used to use as I <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">can</s> could post something short to practice (and remember) what I learned. Italki seems to be a nice alternative, so I decided to use it.

    What did I learn today? It is the word "dashboard'. I wanted to describe an Uber driver I met the other day. He is from Australia. Not only did he speak Australian English, but he had a kangaroo figure on the car dashboard, which helped me guess where he was from. But I did not know the name of the space on top of the AC or <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">the car navigation of a car</s> behind the steering wheel / behind the car's navigation system, which is where you can put figures and presumably it is called a dashboard.

    Anyway, I want to practice making sentences like this quickly. Hopefully I can continue and make this a habit.

    _____

    "Dashboard" is a useful word on the internet as well, since it is also used to refer to the page that contains the user's controls (often the home page or an overview page), just like the vehicle dashboard contains the car's controls. The car's dashboard is sometimes called the "dash" for short. For example, "Don't put the map on the dash — it'll reflect in the windshield."
    0 voted
    August 25, 2019
    2
  • Posted
    もっと運動する よろしくおねがいします。私の文章を添削してください。私の目標は文法的な文章を書いて正確な意味合いを使いたいです。私はたくさん言葉がまだ習わなかったから時々辞書で引いています。手伝って頂けると有難いです。 I'm still learning the kanji to apply to my existing vocabulary, so my writing is a mix of basic kanji and hiragana. If I don't know a word that I need, I try to find it in a dictionary, but that means I might not use it correctly or there might be a more accurate word for my meaning. My goals are to be grammatically accurate and to use words with the right nuance of meaning for the context. 今日の文章: かつては毎日家の犬と一緒に二回の散歩しました。今はあまり運動をしません。もっと運動するべきです。しかし夏に昼間がとても暑い。明け方に涼しいですが私が遅く起きます。早めに私が起きて足早に散歩するべきです。 Today's text: In the past, I walked my dog twice every day. Now, I don't exercise much. I should exercise more. However, it's very hot during the day in the summer. It is cool at dawn, but I get up late. I should get up earlier than usual and go for a brisk walk. Notes: "かつては", "今は" ― Should I have used "に" instead of "は"? Or is "は" all right since I am changing the topic from the past to the present in order to compare them? "もっとうんどうするべきです" ― I found "べき" in the dictionary when trying to find the right way to convey "should, ought to." The phrase I learned would use "もっとうんどうしたほうがいいです", but that seems like it's for recommending something to someone else, or for "I would like to" rather than "I ought to." I also saw "なければなりません" in the dictionary, but I didn't know how to use that phrase. "早めに" ― I know "早く" for "early," but I wasn't sure how to convey the concept "earlier than usual." I found "早くから" and "早めに" in the dictionary, and after studying the example sentences I went with "早めに." Did I make the right choice? Is there a better word? 時間をとっていただいてありがとうございます。Thank you for taking the time to help me.
    August 25, 2019
    9
    1
  • Corrected
    Hello, Yuya. Your sentences are very clear today. Good work! 英語やパイソンが頑張ってください！
    _____

    I like making a program.
    I am learning Python now.
    Python is good at <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">D</s>data analysis.
    In addition to that, we can make <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">a</s> an AI, a <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">W</s>web <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">A</s>application, and so on using Python. <em style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">[Alternatively, you could make the items plural: "...we can make AIs, web applications, and so on..."]</em>
    I will do my best to be able to use that. <em style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">[Here, "that" could mean "Python," or it could mean an AI or another program. Your sentence would be clearer if you were more specific. If you mean Python, then it should say "</em>to use Python<em style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">." If you mean "to make an application," then you could say "</em>to do that<em style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">," because "do" would refer to the "make" in the previous sentence.]</em>
    0 voted
    August 19, 2019
    0
  • Corrected
    Hello, Yuya! Your text is very clear, with hardly any errors, but I've suggested ways that you could change your phrasing to sound more like a native speaker. Please note that the purple phrases are often not corrections, just suggestions.

    - Grammatical, but not necessary
    - Less natural phrasing
    - More natural phrasing
    - Error
    - Correction
    _____


    I'll tell you in advance that I've just started to take a walk, and trying to do it every morning. / I'll start off by telling you that I've just started taking walks, and I'll be trying to do it every morning. The reason why I decided this is that<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">,</s> I usually sit <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">in front of</s> at my desk [1] all day and rarely do any exercise (at least I do some workouts like <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">a </s>push-ups and <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">a </s>sit-ups) [2] so I think I have to take some actions now. I think I have to take action now. / I think I should take action now. / I think I should be more active now. On holidays, I always stay at home because I have nowhere <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">to</s> I want to go. As a result, compared to others, I have less time to move around. I spend less time moving around. [3] The only time I'm moving is when I'm doing housework. Since I had felt like my body <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">warned</s> was warning me of <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">how danger you are right now</s> what danger I am in right now, [4] I actually took a walk around my apartment for thirty minutes, listening to an English podcast, though it was at evening. / though it was evening / although it was in the evening.

    To be honest, I'll finish it up early at first as it was terribly hot outside. [5] However, my mind completely changed after walking for a couple minutes. Breathing and walking a path surrounded by trees with consciousness. [6] Seeing families shopping for their dinner and passing others <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">who's</s> who were also taking a walk or running. I casually looked up the sunset, then I felt <s style="color: rgb(102, 163, 224);">like I was</s> filled up with happiness. My body was delighted. I truly realized that I'm sure I exist on the same planet as they are. It's funny that this is just a walk<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">ing</s> and I'm being poetic, but I believe this proves that in fact, walking really has such an effect. Although it was evening, there might be different <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">scenaries</s> scenery, people, and <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">atomosphere</s> atmosphere in the morning.

    I've just done it only one time, but I'm already excited about tomorrow's walk<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">ing</s>.

    _____

    1. Usually we say "sit in front of my computer" or "sit at my desk."

    2. "A push-up" and "a sit-up" are singular, meaning you only push yourself off the ground once. It's more likely that you're doing multiple push-ups or sit-ups in a row.

    3. "I have less time to move around" is grammatical and a native way of expressing an idea, but I don't think it captures what you mean. You have the same amount of time that everyone else does, but you spend it differently. "Have less time" tends to be used when something is taking up time and you can't change it easily. For example, "With my new job, I have a two-hour commute on the train every day, so I spend more time sitting and have less time to move around."

    4. "Danger" seems a little dramatic without context. You could downplay that with something like one of these sentences: "Since I had felt like my body was warning me that my health was in danger if I didn't move around more..." / "Since I had felt like my body was warning me that my lack of exercise was endangering my health..." / "Since I had felt like my body was warning me that I was jeopardizing my health..."

    5. "I'll" means "I will," and that does not fit the tense of the rest of your sentence or paragraph. I think you probably meant "To be honest, at first I thought I would finish early because it was terribly hot outside."

    6. This says that the trees are sentient. You probably meant that you were being deliberately conscious of your surroundings — "mindfulness." Also, the "breathing" and "seeing" sentences don't have stated subjects, so they are sentence fragments in English. (I think they would work as they are in Japanese, though, since Japanese doesn't require you to state who is doing the action in every sentence.) To fix the fragments, I'd do something like this: However, my mind completely changed after I had been walking for a couple minutes. As I walked along a path lined by trees, I was conscious of my breathing and my surroundings. I saw families shopping for their dinner and passed others who were also taking a walk or running. Or something like this: However, my mind completely changed after I'd been walking for a couple minutes, just breathing, mindful, surrounded by trees, seeing families shopping for their dinner and passing other people who were taking a walk or running. The second one is more stream of consciousness, not formal writing, and it is a little long, but it's grammatical.
    0 voted
    August 16, 2019
    2
  • Corrected
    Hello again, Tatsuki-san. I've made some notes and suggested some ways to phrase things like a native speaker would.

    - Less natural phrasing
    - More natural phrasing
    - Error
    - Correction
    _____

    The typhoon called "台風10号" in Japan<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">a</s>ese <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">eventually</s> finally [1] made landfall in Japan today. It has just started raining and the wind has been getting stronger now. This typhoon is said to be slow and huge. The weather forecast says we are going to have heavy rain all day long tomorrow. So we have to watch out for natural disasters like floods from now. / From now on, we will have to watch out for natural disasters like floods.
    This afternoon, I went shopping for ingredients to secure our foods just in case. [2] I have already got <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">some</s> a warning [3] from my office for everyone not to go out tomorrow. The news says the shinkannsen has deci<s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">e</s>ded to suspend the whole day tomorrow. [4] So many people <s style="color: rgb(240, 102, 102);">was</s> will be / were stuck at the station because they were forced to <s style="color: rgb(255, 194, 102);">move</s> travel / go out today. That's too bad!

    _____

    1. "Eventually" means "after some time, this will happen in the future." "Finally" means "after some time, this has now happened" — it implies the end of waiting. Last week, you might have said, "Eventually, the typhoon will make landfall." Now, you can say, "Finally, the typhoon has made landfall."

    2. This is understandable and makes sense, but it's not quite natural. "To stockpile food" would work, or "to ensure that we have enough food." (Also, when you are talking about food in general, you don't use the 's' — just "food." It often functions like a mass noun. You do use "foods" when you are talking about different types of food or when you are making a distinction — "he likes spicy foods" or "let's get many different foods.")

    3. "I already got a warning" sounds the most natural to me, but if you had received more than one warning, then "I have already received warnings" would be suitable. You can use "some" for multiple warnings — "I got some warnings" — but it's very casual and not as natural.

    4. This phrasing says that the day is suspended, rather than that the bullet train is suspended. There are lots of different ways you could change the phrasing. "The news says the shinkansen will be suspended the whole day tomorrow." / "The news says that the transportation company decided to suspend the shinkansen for the whole day tomorrow." / "The news says that it has been decided that the shinkansen will be suspended for the whole day tomorrow."
    0 voted
    August 16, 2019
    2