もっと運動する
よろしくおねがいします。私の文章を添削してください。私の目標は文法的な文章を書いて正確な意味合いを使いたいです。私はたくさん言葉がまだ習わなかったから時々辞書で引いています。手伝って頂けると有難いです。
I'm still learning the kanji to apply to my existing vocabulary, so my writing is a mix of basic kanji and hiragana. If I don't know a word that I need, I try to find it in a dictionary, but that means I might not use it correctly or there might be a more accurate word for my meaning. My goals are to be grammatically accurate and to use words with the right nuance of meaning for the context.
今日の文章:
かつては毎日家の犬と一緒に二回の散歩しました。今はあまり運動をしません。もっと運動するべきです。しかし夏に昼間がとても暑い。明け方に涼しいですが私が遅く起きます。早めに私が起きて足早に散歩するべきです。
Today's text:
In the past, I walked my dog twice every day. Now, I don't exercise much. I should exercise more. However, it's very hot during the day in the summer. It is cool at dawn, but I get up late. I should get up earlier than usual and go for a brisk walk.
Notes:
"かつては", "今は" ― Should I have used "に" instead of "は"? Or is "は" all right since I am changing the topic from the past to the present in order to compare them?
"もっとうんどうするべきです" ― I found "べき" in the dictionary when trying to find the right way to convey "should, ought to." The phrase I learned would use "もっとうんどうしたほうがいいです", but that seems like it's for recommending something to someone else, or for "I would like to" rather than "I ought to." I also saw "なければなりません" in the dictionary, but I didn't know how to use that phrase.
"早めに" ― I know "早く" for "early," but I wasn't sure how to convey the concept "earlier than usual." I found "早くから" and "早めに" in the dictionary, and after studying the example sentences I went with "早めに." Did I make the right choice? Is there a better word?
時間をとっていただいてありがとうございます。Thank you for taking the time to help me.
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Corrections · 9
1
もっと運動する
よろしくおねがいします。私の文章を添削してください。私の目標は文法的な文章を書いて正確な意味合いを使いたいです。私はたくさん言葉がまだ習わなかったから習っていない言葉がたくさんあるので、時々辞書で引いています。手伝って頂けると有難いです。
I'm still learning the kanji to apply to my existing vocabulary, so my writing is a mix of basic kanji and hiragana. If I don't know a word that I need, I try to find it in a dictionary, but that means I might not use it correctly or there might be a more accurate word for my meaning. My goals are to be grammatically accurate and to use words with the right nuance of meaning for the context.
今日の文章:
Today's text:
In the past, I walked my dog twice every day. Now, I don't exercise much. I should exercise more. However, it's very hot during the day in the summer. It is cool at dawn, but I get up late. I should get up earlier than usual and go for a walk.
Notes:
"かつては", "今は" ― Should I have used "に" instead of "は"? Or is "は" all right since I am changing the topic from the past to the present in order to compare them?
> You are right. But I changed it to ”昔は" (meaning the same) as かつては sounds more formal (and sounds like in ancient times).
"もっとうんどうするべきです" ― I found "べき" in the dictionary when trying to find the right way to convey "should, ought to." The phrase I learned would use "もっとうんどうしたほうがいいです", but that seems like it's for recommending something to someone else, or for "I would like to" rather than "I ought to." I also saw "なければなりません" in the dictionary, but I didn't know how to use that phrase.
> Grammatically, "もっとうんどうするべきです" is okay. I would say ”もっと運動しなければいけないなと思います" or "もっと運動しなきゃ”. The latter is more colloquial.
"早めに" ― I know "早く" for "early," but I wasn't sure how to convey the concept "earlier than usual." I found "早くから" and "早めに" in the dictionary, and after studying the example sentences I went with "早めに." Did I make the right choice? Is there a better word?
> I added ”いつもより". "いつも" means usual and "より" means something like than, so
"いつもより” = than usual. Combined with the adverb "早めに", it means earlier than usual (not sure what is the best grammatical terminology for this).
時間をとっていただいてありがとうございます。Thank you for taking the time to help me.
1
もっと運動する
よろしくおねがいします。私の文章を添削してください。私の目標は文法的な文章を書いて正確な意味合いを使いたいです。私はたくさん言葉がをまだ習わなかったっていないから時々辞書で引いています。手伝って頂けると有難いです。
I'm still learning the kanji to apply to my existing vocabulary, so my writing is a mix of basic kanji and hiragana. If I don't know a word that I need, I try to find it in a dictionary, but that means I might not use it correctly or there might be a more accurate word for my meaning. My goals are to be grammatically accurate and to use words with the right nuance of meaning for the context.
今日の文章:
かつては毎日家の犬と一緒に二回の散歩しました。今はあまり運動をしません。もっと運動するべきです。しかし夏には昼間がとても暑い。明け方には涼しいですが私がは遅く起きます。早めに私が起きて足早に散歩するべきです。
Today's text:
In the past, I walked my dog twice every day. Now, I don't exercise much. I should exercise more. However, it's very hot during the day in the summer. It is cool at dawn, but I get up late. I should get up earlier than usual and go for a walk.
Notes:
"かつては", "今は" ― Should I have used "に" instead of "は"? Or is "は" all right since I am changing the topic from the past to the present in order to compare them?
Correct.We use only かつては 、今は for comparison. は has a meaning equality ,so you can use them as かつて＝～ 今＝～ like this.
"もっとうんどうするべきです" ― I found "べき" in the dictionary when trying to find the right way to convey "should, ought to." The phrase I learned would use "もっとうんどうしたほうがいいです", but that seems like it's for recommending something to someone else, or for "I would like to" rather than "I ought to." I also saw "なければなりません" in the dictionary, but I didn't know how to use that phrase.
You can use したほうがいいです。it's more casual and not recommend much.
しなければなりません。 sounds like I(you) must do .It's polite but like an order.
"早めに" ― I know "早く" for "early," but I wasn't sure how to convey the concept "earlier than usual." I found "早くから" and "早めに" in the dictionary, and after studying the example sentences I went with "早めに." Did I make the right choice? Is there a better word?
"earlier than usual." is いつも(usual) より はやく(earlier) 早くから is from early. 早めに is (kind of)(sort of)early. Also 早くis ok too
時間をとっていただいてありがとうございます。Thank you for taking the time to help me.
1
はじめましてayuです。添削します。日本語は誰に向けて書いているかで表現が変わるので難しいですが、できるだけ一般的な表現を心がけました。
In the past, I walked my dog twice every day. Now, I don't exercise much. I should exercise more. However, it's very hot during the day in the summer. It is cool at dawn, but I get up late. I should get up earlier than usual and go for a walk.
以前は1日に2回毎日犬の散歩をしていましたが今はあまりしていません。もう少し運動をした方がよいのですが、夏の日中はとても暑いです。(または文章を追加して、夏の日中は暑くてなかなかその気がおきません。)
明け方は涼しいので、いつもより早起きして散歩に出たいです。
※ It is cool at dawn, but I get up late. I should get up earlier than usual and go for a walk.を直訳すると、「明け方は涼しいが、私は起きるのが遅い。私はもっと早く起きて散歩に行くべき。」となりますが、私は起きるのが遅い。と言うと(①もっと早く起きれば運動できる)(②もっと寝ていたいから運動は諦めている)のどちらかであることが伝わるので、後に続く「私はもっと早く起きて散歩に行くべき。」の文章と意味が①で重複します。そのため今回は削りました。
Notes:
かつてに という表現はありません。 かつては or かつて のどちらかです。意味や使い方に違いはありません。
べき という表現は 理想や義務、道徳的なことに使われることが多いので、shouldと完全に1:1で訳すことは難しいと思います。Caciaさんのおっしゃるとおり「～した方がよい」と表現するのがこの場合適切だと思います。
earlier than usual は、いつもより早く、と直訳するのが一番しっくりきます。ちなみに、「足早に」という言葉は歩くスピードが早いことを意味します。なお、走るときには使いません。
【例】
彼は立ち去った。 ←こちらはただ立ち去ったという事実を表現しています。
彼は"足早に"立ち去った。 ←こっちは立ち去った事実に加えて急いでいます。彼ができるだけその場を離れたかった気持ちが伝わってきます。
お互いにがんばりましょう！では！
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