English writing practice (23 June)

1. I don't really believe testimonials, because sometimes they are fake.

 

2. Until a decade ago, if a criminal was a soldier, he had to be punished by <s style="background-color: yellow;">the</s> martial law. [the term “martial law” does not typically require the article in front of it, and it should probably read "under martial law"]

 

3. Even though he attended [“took” would probably be a better word choice than "attended" in this particular context] some <s style="background-color: yellow;">lessons of</s> computer training, he is still a tech dummy.

 

4. I should improve my learning curve and stop wasting time on web browsing. [to my ear the term “learning curve” sounds a big strange in this context, but technically the sentence works]

 

5. You are already [“already” feels a bit redundant or unnecessary here; I would suggest deleting it altogether] halfway to success, don't give up now!

[I assume the following text is not the opening paragraph, otherwise I would suggest a sentence or two at the beginning to introduce the character]

 

Newspapers such as <em>The Independent</em> have written about her and projected her youth development onto fellow adolescents. While <em>The Independent</em> aimed at investigating <s>the,</s> what they called “The Hermione Granger Effect”, authors such as Christopher E. Bell have studied her transition into a “freedom fighter, scholar, confidante and survi-vor” (Bell 2014: 4). The development of the fictional character Hermione Granger has, despite not being the protagonist of the novels, elaborately been portrayed in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series which was published between 1997 and 2015. In addition to attending a boarding school, learning spells and studying for her exams, Hermione also builds friendships as well as her own identity, gains agency[,] and reassigns priorities. What might sound similar to topics discussed in the Bildungsroman or coming-of-age story, can also be considered under various pedagogical aspects.

 

Similar to theories from other disciplines, theories of developmental psychology and educational sciences, one of them being the theory of developmental tasks [this clause feels a bit cumbersome; consider reworking], are constantly modified and constructed. What has first been introduced by the American educator Robert J. Havighurst as a theory focusing on the concept of “a task which arises at a or about a specific period in the life of the individual” and whose “failure leads to unhappiness in the individual, disproval with society and difficulty with later tasks” in the 1950’s (Havighurst 1953: 2), has constantly been modified by other experts such as August Flammer and Françoise Alsaker (2002), Tim Gelhaar and Inge Seiffge-Krenke (2006) and the social scientist Klaus Hurrel-mann. Hurrelmann, a German professor of health and education at the Hertie School of Governance, expanded Havighurst’s conventional model by accentuating an indi-vidual’s environment, which is made up of their society.[consider breaking the preceding sentence into two sentences] After analyzing personality development and the relationship of social structure and personality (Hurrelmann 1988), Hurrelmann formulated and re-defined the four developmental tasks of Qualification, Bonding, Regeneration and Participation which have been presented in his recent works such as Developmental Tasks in Adolescence (Hurrelmann and Quenzel 2019). According to them, all tasks ought to be fulfilled at the best possible rate during the personality development of a young individual in order to build self-determination and to overcome the next stage of developmental tasks. Meanwhile, a successful fulfillment of the developmental tasks strongly depends on personal and social recourses available, such as communication skills and the understanding of one’s role in society as well as parents, teachers[,] and other support systems.

 

Notes:

 

described - portrayed feels like a better fit for the context

 

besides - sound a little too colloquial for academic writing

To grant/ to permit / to allow

What is the difference between those three words

The three verbs (to grant, to permit, to allow) have overlapping meanings, and in most situations you can use any one of them in place of the others.

 

Having said that, there are differences.

 

“To grant” sounds more formal, and would more likely be used in an official situation (the king or president or prime minister grants authority to someone).

 

“To permit” is slightly less official, but is still common in more formal settings, such as a school (The teacher gave the students permission to go to the library).

 

“To allow” is the least formal, and can be used in any situation where one person lets another person do something (The girl allowed the boy to use her pen).