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Whether a competitive environment in school(s) would bring (academic) excellence and needs to be/should be encouraged?
A competitive environment in school and university would bring excellence and needs to be encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been a heated debate on whether a competitive environment in schools and universities would bring excellence and needs to be encouraged. ("competitive environments need to be encouraged" "a competitive environment needs to be encouraged" or "should be encouraged") Although some believe that competition would help students with their academic achievement, I am convinced that bringing/encouraging severe competition may not be a good idea for students.("their academic achievements" might be better... or "would help students achieve more academically, ")
Firstly, I do admit that schools and universities are places where students learn knowledge before they step into the crucial business world. ("crucial" to what? "When building a multi-story building, it is crucial that the foundation be strong enough to support the weight of the upper levels." "Reinforcing load-bearing columns is crucial to maintaining the building's structural integrity.") A competitive environment would/will be encountered sooner or later, so it would be beneficial for students to adopt this environment at a relatively early age. ("adapt to this/such an environment" would be better. "adopt a competitive attitude" for instance would be something that the students would pick up and practice. "will" is better than "would" here.) Also, a more competitive environment challenges students to work harder in their studies in order to discover their hidden talent(s) or achieve greater academic success.
However, there are numerous reasons why schools and universities should not be an extremely competitive place; for example, schools should also be a place for students to make friends and help with each other instead of seeing each other like/as enemies. ("I am helping my mother with the dishes." New sentence) In addition to this, a competitive environment may stop some students from going to school or even learning. According to a recent research, 15% of the students who study in a very competitive environment may suffer a wide range of mental health problems including anxiety and insomnia. ("According to research," "According to a recent research study") Not only students' physical health but also mental health should be taken into consideration when making schools into a competitive place.
In conclusion, I think schools and universities should not make the environment a very competitive place for students: schools should not only be a place for students to learn knowledge but also a place for them to make friends and stay healthy physically and mentally.("learn knowledge" can just be "learn")0 votedJuly 24, 20180Documents of Open Platform
I read some documents of Open Platform of WeChat this morning. The English version of the documents was so hard to read and I thought it might be translated by machine. So I switched to the Chinese version. The mechanism of providing developing service through Open Platform was a little complicated. It took developers hours to get ready for coding.有意思的。Is this open source? An open source specification of the WeChat protocol? 开原的wechat的网络协议的规格？I'm not sure what you meant by "developing service".
0 votedJuly 24, 20180- However, there is no doubt that our society has witnessed an enormous change of in consumer behavior from buying stuff at retail stores in the shopping centers to shopping online with a few clicks and the goods will be/are delivered to your home address. ("stuff" is very informal here. "things" is better, "products" is probably even better here. I took out "the" because there's no "the" before retail stores. The issue is consistency in how the example of consumer behavior is described. So for instance "buying" as the same tense as "shopping online" "shopping center" is a separate thing here. You could also say "from buying things at a retail store in a shopping center to shopping online..." "will be" or "are" are both okay I think. It's sort of ongoing thing, so "are" might be good too.) Some countries have already become cardless such as China: 90% of the daily money transactions have been/are being done on the smartphone apps including paying utilities, medical care, food and groceries and etc. (Without a specific time reference for this statistic, "are being" sounds better, like it's an ongoing situation. "In the past, 20% of our sales have been from these customers. "paying utilities" sounds like an activity, "pay utilities" sounds like "pay to play games" or something. "money" is unnecessary here.)With the reduction of the cash economy and tax evasion, a cardless society has definitely increased transaction claritytransparency. (This sentence is very unclear. "clarity" definitely isn't the right word here. "transparency" might imply transparency to the government. I.e., the government can track transactions better and prevent tax evasion. But normally "transparency" is used for other things. For instance "government transparency" would mean that the government allows the people to know what it is doing and why. "corporate transparency" means that corporations disclose their financial statements, maybe disclose potentially harmful things in products, etc.. You should rework this sentence to clarify its meaning.) Furthermore, thanks to the technology, that of the convenience we are embracing now would will inevitably help boost the economy.'(So this is not a specific technology, so I took out "the". "embracing" is a little strange here. "Because we have embraced cashless technology, our economy will be boosted. "embrace" is a kind of full acceptance, in the way it is used here.)
In conclusion, I think the advantages have outweighed the disadvantages, and there is no doubt that our society would be beneficialbenefitted from the cashless revolution. (or "the advantages outweigh the disadvantages"... it's okay in the past tense here, but I'm not sure why one would use the past tense in this case. Seemingly the advantages and disadvantages, at least some of them, are still present.)0 votedJuly 24, 20180 Do you think a cardless society is realistic and why? What are the advantages and disadvantages?
The topic of whether a cardless society is realistic or not has been a controversial debate; while some people think it is has a negative impact on our society, but I am convinced that a cardless society is a must of the development and it certainly has more advantages than disadvantages.("while" and "but" sound strange together. "While she prefers Mexican food, I like Italian." "She prefers Mexican food, but I like Italian." The semi-colon helps break up a long sentence, you could also have a period. "a cardless society" because it is a kind of general concept or potential ideal. You could sort of use it without the article "a" but it sounds a little awkward. You could say "the cardless society" if you wanted to talk about it as an established thing. The word "realistic" here suggests potentiality. I.e., could a cardless society exist; not is a cardless society a good thing.)
I do admit that there are some arguments suggesting a cardless society would be an incubator for cyber-crime. There are more cases where personal information has been stolen/compromised security and credit card fraud has been reported.("security" as a word is strange here; you see I changed it to two distinct phrases regarding the types of security issues.) In addition to this, senior/older people may find it very struggling a struggle as they are not used to the new method of payment; for instance, they may have trouble using Uber instead of getting a taxi like the old-fashioned way. ("seniors" can be used instead of "older people". "senior people" is okay though. "like" is okay also but unnecessary here and it's clearer without.)0 votedJuly 24, 20180(The major issue here is the phrase "distance in miles travelled per person per year". Obviously these numbers are too low to be people for all of England and in what you've written, you refer to increases in the number of people! If you decide to rewrite it, please comment and I will correct.)
0 votedJuly 24, 20180I just woke up 0724
Yesterday I had an appointment with her and wanted to gave her an English lesson at 9:30 o'clock . ("o'clock" sounds strange with minutes. "It's(The appointment is) at 4 o'clock." "It's half past three." "The time is thirty minutes passed three." "It's three thirty/3:30") So this morning I got up early to wait for her. She didn't come on time. Half hour past, she still hasn't come. (The tense here is a bit difficult. If you want to write as if it is the thoughts you are having then in the past "A half hour passes, she still hasn't come." Otherwise it would be "A half hour passed, she still hadn't come." So "has" is sort of present ongoing I think.) I was a little impatient. Then I called her, but the phone is not connected. (", but the phone call did not connect." or "but no one answered." "is not connected" suggests that the number itself is not setup. I.e., that the operator says "There is no phone at that number." Calls going through, is similar but could be like a long distance call or some kind of potential inability to connect even if the phone is itself connected to the line. "I called but the call didn't go through.") An hour passed again, I can't bear it. (This suggests that a second hour has passed? Maybe instead "Another hour passes, again, I can't bear it." "An hour passes, again I can't bear it." i.e., that you can't bear it and must call her again.)I called her again. She rubbed her eyes and said to me,"I just woke up". O goodness, gracious.O my!0 votedJuly 24, 20180- Last Thursday my husband bought a camera parts in an American EBay auction. (It is not a specific auction, known to the reader here as it is introduced as a topic.)
After the payment, the next day , EBay sent the message, ("The next day, after sending the payment" is good too. Or "After paying, the next day," eBay is typically spelled with a lowercase e also, because it started around the time when eMail "electronic mail" became more popular.)
"We’re writing to let you know that an unauthorized third party may have accessed the seller’s account to list this item. The item has been removed from the site, and the transaction was cancelled. We ask that you take the following precautions:" I paid money. How do I get a refund on/for my money? Let me know the process of refund. We did not receive any items. (Or "Please explain to me the refund process. "Let me know how I can get a refund." If you paid, then they refund you.)
My husband paid 109 Euro. It/That is 14000 yen. I was really worried about how to get a refund .
I called a customer support center to refund the 14000 yen.
Luckily, I succeeded to refund the money in getting the money refunded. There are many kinds of criminals inon the Internet.
I have to be careful about the security. (Better "I have to be careful about buying things on the Internet." "Security" sounds strange, like an organization or something or... one might say "When buying things over the internet, it is important to ensure one has a secure connection to the real site and that it is a reputable site." These would be security issues.)0 votedJuly 24, 20180 Last Thursday my husband bought a camera parts in an American EBay auction.
Last Wednesday I woke up at 5:15.
I took a trial lesson of morning yoga on Skype at 5:30 for 30 minutes.
I watched the teacher’s pose in on my/a mobile phone while I followed the (teacher’s) pose.(Or "by mobile phone". "teacher's" is implied in the second part of the sentence. Or: "I watched the teacher pose on my phone and tried to emulate her." Here, "pose" is a verb rather than a noun.)
A The teacher explained the pose in detail. She studied yoga abroad yoga in India.(It's a specific teacher, "The teacher" unless it was a different teacher than the one that did the poses?)
She is a vegetarian and very cheerful.
She has two children . They told her, “Mom. you should try to eat anything healthy foods/things if whether you like it them/the taste or not. Being a picky eater is bad for your health. “ ("You should eat anything that you like." sounds not very health conscious. Without "being" it is as if another person that is a picky eater is bad for one's health.)
They said this because her kids can’t understand why their mother prefers to eat vegetables. ("because" should be part of the sentence that it explains, not a separate sentence. I'm sorry, I misunderstood the previous sentence. "Mom, you try to eat things if you like them. "Mom, you try to eat things based on whether you like them or not." A child would not use the word "based." "Mom, you eat something if you like it or don't if you don't like it." "You try to eat anything if you like it." Sorry, I think this is fine. The issue is maybe "or not". "or not" suggests the possibility of eating things one doesn't like, which implies health reasons.)
A teacher lost about 10kgs after learning yoga.(This is then not THE teacher that was doing the class, but another teacher?)
I did my best to imitate her pose(s), unfortunately my big tummy and fat disturbed my pose
After the lesson, I had a muscular pain.
Normally, her morning yoga online lesson fee was 1400 yen for 20 minutes. It is not affordable for me.
It was an interesting free charge of trial lesson for me. I was sleepy that morning. ("free of charge trial lesson" or just "free trial lesson")0 votedJuly 24, 20180
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