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My name is Kai and I am 22 years old. I'm originally from Sierra Leone.I joined this forum because I want to improve my writing skills. I am very open to corrections and critisms as long it's constructive.
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  • Posted
    can someone correct this for me please? Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to enthusiastically apply for the role of graduate sales trainee. I will briefly highlight why my skills and experience match the position. One of the core competencies for this role is having experience working in customer service or a sales role. From my previous roles which were all customer focused, I developed the ability to provide excellent customer service with the use of excellent communication skills. I met and greeted customers in those roles and provided response to their quarries, as well as directing them to the relevant people when necessary. I am currently working as a sales associate for a company called American-Eagle-Outfitters. One of the chief responsibilities in my current role is to ensure that my team and I meet the needs of our customers, and to also exceed our daily sales target. Because of my eagerness to learn and succeed, I have been promoted twice in a period of seven months while working for my current employer. I enjoy working as a sales man not only because I enjoy talking to people, but also because of the satisfaction I get when I know that I have helped a client choose the right product. Of course, this role also requires someone who is not only educated to a degree level, but have also come out of university with excellent grades. I have recently just completed a degree in Sociology at the University of East London, in which I got a 2.1. During my time in university, I conducted numerous research using qualitative and quantitative methods. As a student, I also wrote numbers of essays and reports individually with little supervision from tutors/lecturers. This has enabled me to improve my research, writing and communication skills. Furthermore, I have excellent analytical skills, which I developed from using Ms Excel and SPSS. In conclusion, I am highly self-motivated, and I am committed to providing the best service to both colleagues and customers. I work well under pressure, and I adapt quickly to changing situation. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to meeting with you to discuss my application further.
    June 21, 2016
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  • Corrected
    0 voted
    June 15, 2016
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  • Posted
    Help with grammar and style I've just had my Skype interview, and i got to admit it went better than I expected. The whole process lasted for half an hour. Prior to the interview , I had some doubts about how much I had prepared for the interview. However , it turned out that I was more than prepared. At some point in the interview, the interviewee asked me if I knew anything about the company. Of course my answer was yes. After answering her question, she said to me '' well done! You know quite a lot about us.'' I felt confident after she said that. Overall I believe I did my very best ,and I am hoping I will be shortlisted for the second stage which is a face-to-face interview.
    June 15, 2016
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  • Posted
    Help with grammar and style I have an interview schedule today for 5:00 pm,and I am nervous. However I am hoping I am able to control my nerves before the interview starts. I am currently healing from a heartbreak , and I believe if I get this job It would help my healing process tremendously. Now that I am single, I want a career where I caninvest all my energy and hopefully succeed at the same time.
    June 15, 2016
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  • Posted
    The Euro- England vs Russia -My take on it....I Need corrections please I've just finished watching England versus Russia in the Euro-Cup. In my opinion, England played terrific football. After the first 45 minutes,I'd already declared in my head that England was going to win the match,little did I know that the Russians had a game planed. Starting the second half of the 90 minutes match, the Russians began to pick up momentum,and England started to detoriate in areas they did well at in the first 45 minutes. But that momentum by the Russians didn't last long, unfortunately for them. The English snatched momentum from the Russian, and shortly after,Dier, the gifted 22 years old scored the most significant goal that will put the English ahead of their opponent. Just 2 minutes till the end of the game,I said ''This is it,England is surely going to win it.'' In stoppage time, the Russians had a cross from the wing , and by the time the English could settle to defend the cross,it was in the net, and the Russians were on their way celebrating. Poor England, I wish them better luck next game.They did all the right things to win but football is an unpredictable game ,and we saw an evidence of that today.
    June 11, 2016
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  • Posted
    Since I am trying to improve my writing, I thought why not write down how I am presently feeling. I am currently dealing with the most hurtful breakup I've ever experience in my entire life. I was with my ex for a period of three years,and prior to that I'd never been in a serious relationship. Our relationship was rocky from the get go. I believe this was mainly because I didn't trust women , which is a result of the heartbreak I suffered when my best friend betrayed me and started a relationship with a girl I was causally seeing. I was 18 years old when this incident happened. Eventually, I was able to get over it. Because of the kind of person I am,I forgave my friend and let the past stay in the past.Their relationship carried on for a while but it didn't bother me anymore.They broke up after few weeks. Shortly after I started university,I met my current ex. She changed me as an individual.Because of her,I was doing great in university and this in turn made my mother really proud. I love her so much! Sometimes, I'd look at her and say '' what did I do to deserve you''. Months later things took a turn for the worse.I started taking her for granted. We started fighting every other week. The arguments were endless, and those arguments convert into emotional abuse. Majority of the time I took responsibilities for my actions,she never did. Instead she thought I was the one with the problem in the relationship.At first I was angry, but then I decided to do something about it. I joined a programme for abusers. This helped me a lot. Nevertheless, I thought why is she not in a programme too? However, I'd say to myself ''focus on yourself ''. I was in the programme for months while studying and working. Things were better for sometime but the programme was closed because of some funding issues. weeks later,I joined another programme. Anyways, cut a long story short, few weeks ago ,she wanted to leave me because our arguments never stopped,they just got better. I begged and said I will do something about it. She stayed.Weeks after, I picked up a serious knee injury from football.She was worried.She'd wake up in the middle of the night and say '' are you ok?''. I found this bizarre because she was being overly nice. strange right?I know. One morning, she woke up and mistakenly pushed my injured leg.I woke up angry and asked her ''why did you do that for'' She was defensive.The next day she did it again,I woke up and raised my voice at her. After a week of not speaking, I eventually ask if we could talk about it .she said no, and said ''we are done''.
    June 10, 2016
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  • Corrected

    Malta Island

    Maybe you guys don't know much about Malta. I also didn't know much until I did research.
    So I'll introduce about Malta!

    Republic of Malta is a Southern European island country.

    Malcheese which kind of the dog is origins from Malta.
    People who live in Malta are called Maltees.

    There is no winter in Malta. Every season is summer or spring,  so it’s comfortable to stay on  longer vacation.
    Acording to the United Nations, Malta ranked 30 in Ranking of Happiness 
    because of  its safety and less natural disasters or crime.
    So it’s popular for vacation to European people because it’s near Europe, and the cost is cheap.
    For example, we can get bread for 40 cent.


    Malta has two official languages: Maltese and English.
    In 1964, Malta gained independence from the United Kingdom.
    Before then, Britain controlled them.
    Maltese is made up of Arabic and Italian.
    In the past, the official language was Italian, and this is why so most of most people can speak 3 languages.
    Maltese,English and Italian.
    Official areas, such as restaurant, bank, station, people speak English.
    That’s why, it’s popular to study abroad for European people these days.They can go to official club as a activity for students.Because of island country, they often eat fish.And they also eat the rabbit meat.Traditional food is rabbit stew.For dessert, And they often eat fresh ricotta, and dried fruirt.They don’t have much chocolate.

    Malta is popular as bread.


    Despite being a small island nation, Malta has three World Heritage Sites
    One of them is the capital which is called Bullette.
    Even though it's a  small country, there are 360 churches in Malta.
    They often held the cerebrate on Friday each church,and doing fire works.
    Especially in summer, we can see the fireworks every weekends.
    They really like festivals.

    I corrected what I can.Overal, this was a beautiful insight about Malta.I would love to visit one day.

    0 voted
    June 10, 2016
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  • Corrected

    First day here

    Hi, I want to practice my English and German skills.

    Today was a long day. I just want to go home and have some rest, what about you?
    0 voted
    June 10, 2016
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  • Corrected

    Volunteer Job

    Yesterday I took part in a volunteer job, and It was my first time being a volunteer in Australia. I was a little nervous at first  because I didn't know anyone, and I had no idea what to do. But it turned out I shouldn't have been so worried. The team leader was kind and patient. She gave me my T-shirt, badge and some notice and tips about the job. Everyone received a map to help visitors find their way. The job lasted for 5 hours, from 6pm to 11pm. Every hour, the team leader gave us new tasks to complete. I did 5 different work, including: operating installations, keeping people stand in line and showing them how to interact with equipments. People enjoyed them themselves because of the help I provided. I received so much gratitude.It was tiring at the end ,but it was really rewarding.
    0 voted
    June 10, 2016
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  • Posted
    My day: Open to corrections and criticisms Today has been one of those days one struggle to put into words. In other words, today has been not only good,but stressful at the same time. Normally, when things go wrong, I tend to stress and overthink,and this result in me escalating the situation more than what it actually is. However, I have learned that stressing and overthinking doesn't particular solve a problem, but instead makes them worse. These days, when things go wrong,I'd rather write them down as I am doing now,than overthinking and stressing. In order to cope with my problems when things go wrong , I'd say to myself '' you're not the only one who is going through it,millions of other are experiencing the same thing''. This coping mechanism hasn't only help minimise my stress, but also help me see things from different perspectives. Writing is such an important tool that we overlook sometimes. When we write our feelings down, we are able to think,analyse and see where things went wrong. Ironically, I have only just realised that now whilst writing this note. My aim is to be able to write coherently without any grammatical errors. I'm confident that with the help of individuals in this group, I will be able to achieve this one day. Regards, Kai Steve
    June 9, 2016
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