IELTS Writing Task 2 6# About Children Obesity

<s>Modern </s>Children today are suffering from <s>the </s>a disease that was once considered <s>to meant</s> only for adults<s> only</s>. Obesity is a major disease now prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

The number of children suffering from obesity has grown significantly and there is no denying that one of the major <s>problems of</s> reasons is fast food. <s>These types of foods are</s> Junk food and fast food are easily available <s>to order in the catering facilities. Thereforeat </s>schools. For example, at lunchtime, children can purchase these foods in the school canteen. In addition, when parents <s>of today</s> are snowed under with <s>their</s> work, they can’t always take care of the eating habits of their children and they can’t always cook healthy food<s>s for children</s>. If<s>,</s> parents pay attention to what their children eat and<s> struggle </s>make more of an effort to prepare nutritious meals <s>for children</s>, this problem might be solved handily. Another solution might be for parents and schools ban junk food. <s>Moreover, that eating junk food by children should be banned by parents. </s>

<s>The </s>A second cause of obesity is having a sedentary lifestyle. <s>On account of the fact that t</s> Technological advancements have affected the lifestyle of some children. <s> children who</s> Some are keen on playing computer games or watching TV, and these children <s>to</s> grow<s> with</s> up devoid of physical activity. This issue can be tackled by encouraging children to get more physical exercise<s>s</s>. For instance, parents might take their children to playground areas or parks more regularly. Moreover, <s>the competent person of </s>schools should ensure more gym classes for children.

In conclusion, childhood obesity is a growing problem <s>in the whole</s> all over the world. Eating fast food and a lack of physical activity have resulted in an increase<s>ing</s> in the number of <s>children of </s>overweight children. However, this issue isn’t insurmountable. Physical education programs and parental control can help to overcome these problems.

Hi. You have tried to use some good IELTS vocabulary. Good job! If you need further help, I am an italki teacher :-)

IELTS Writing Tas1# Bar Chart About Phone Sales

The bar chart gives information about the (number of global five phone brand that sold and is divided into three periods.) the sales figures of 5 phone companies from around the world from 2009-2013. (Try to change the words form the title as much as possible)

Overall, it can be <s>clearly</s> seen that <s>the sold of </s>Samsung, Apple and ZTE's sales <s>have risen</s> rose over this 14-year period<s>,</s> as opposed to, that those of Nokia and LG <s>have dropped throughout the period.</s>which dropped.

In terms of <s>the increasing charts</s>increase, <s>the number of sales of </s>Samsung experienced the highest<s>-selling all of the period</s> sales of phones. <s>It has been</s>The number of phones sold increased gradually from about 240 million to 440 million. Apple <s>sold was beginning with </s> with the least number of sales at approximately 10 million in 2009<s>, while it has been gone up by</s> and which increased to about 160 million in 2013. ZTE <s>selling that is</s> sales had a minimal increase<s> is</s> by around 5 million.

With regard to decreases<s>ing charts</s>, <s>the sales of </s>Nokiais sales <s>showed the biggest downfall </s>dropped the most within a 4 year period <s>by</s> losing 200 million <s>sales </s>dollars. Another <s>branch,</s>company LG ,<s>too, has gone down, </s>also lost sales; however,<s> it’s </s><s style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"> </s>the decline<s> is</s> was lower than Nokia's <s>drop by 50 million-selling.</s>

You did a good job trying to use the numbers. Be careful in the intro..you need to change the words from the chart as much as possible while still keeping the meaning. I hope this helps!

The wall

Yesterday, I saw three soldiers in <s>the</s> a park <s>of </s> in my city. They <s>wore a</s> were wearing military uniforms. All the soldiers, except one, seemed physically strong<s>s</s>. They<s>'ve built</s> were building a big wall in the city centre. The <s>most weak</s> weakest soldier was willing to help them, but he felt like an eccentric and crazy artist in the middle of a depressing place. He thought<s>,</s> the wall was <s>too </s>much too ugly and he asked <s>for</s> to paint it with funny draw<s>s</s>ings<s>.</s> His request <s>has</s> <s>been accpeted </s>was<s style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"> </s>granted and the soldiers filled the wall <s>of</s> different<s>s</s> colours.

Ah yes, I think it would be wonderful to have wall filled with COLOUR!

<s>The</s> An unforgettable <s>memories </s>memory

I would like to write about my <s>' The </s>unforgettable train' story😊. One day,<s> me, </s>my friends, my mother and her friends, and I <s>we</s> <s>were</s> decided to go for 'putloor' Kovil. We went by train<s>,</s>My mother's friend only got <s>the</s> 3 train tickets <s>train</s> for <s>elders</s> senoirs, <s>elders</s> seniors like my mother and her two friends. <s>only bought the tickets of three, we </s>She didn't <s>bought</s>buy tickets <s>of myself</s> for me and my friends. The checker <s>was</s> came on the train<s>, </s> . He said 'show me your tickets'. We <s>were </s>only bought <s>the tickets of</s> three tickets, but we were <s>here morever</s> more than six. My mother's friend <s>convinced</s> explained to the checker,<s> she said</s> ' My husband <s>having</s> has the other<s>s</s> tickets<s>, h</s> He is <s>there for</s> in the other compartment. <s>while the train is stopping, I go</s>tWhen the train stops, I will get the tickets from my husband and show you'. The checker said ' okay'. We reached the station, and the checker <s>was</s> waited there<s>,</s>. My mother and her friends <s>were </s>got off the train<s>, myself</s> I got off the other side, and I was caught by checker. <s>Do you know one thing, </s>My mother ,her friends and my friends noticed the checker <s>was there which</s> was on the side I got off, but I didn't <s>saw</s> see the checker<s>,</s> because I saw my friend's pair of shoes under the seat, so I <s>caght</s> was caught by checker. I didn't know where <s>was</s> my mother and the others were. The checker asked me ' where<s> is</s> are the others?'. I said ' I don't know<s>, </s>I am also searching my mom' , but the checker shouted at me. During that one second, my mind <s>was blank out</s> went blank. (I think that time Iam studying 6th)sorry I don't understand the blue. Suddenly, I heard my mother's voice ' Sathya! where are you'. I said 'mom, <s>I there in</s> I am here'. Finally the problem was sorted out.::)))

If you find any mistakes, correct it. Hi, I hope these corrections help! We don't really say "checker". You can say "the person checking the tickets" or "the controller" or "the ticket collector". I understand bad luck on trains!

Short essay about Online shopping

The way of (buying)shopping/purchasing items has <s>significantly</s> changed significantly over the past few decades. The (spread) increased use of the internet and <s>the</s> globalization <s>system</s> have given<s>give</s> us <s>an</s> immediate access to goods and services<s>, that are</s> produced (and sold) (<s>i</s>n every part of) all over the world.

Each person living in a developed country has probably, at least once in his/her life, bought something on the web. A (big amount of the) large number of online stores sell their goods (for convenient) at attractive prices and ship most <s>of customers'</s> purchases without (charging extra costs) additional charges. For instance, <s>the </s>Amazon <s>colossus</s> delivers almost everything within one day, requiring only (to pay a little amount ) a small charge once per year. That is a huge benefit for those who want to save money. Moreover, if someone <s>do</s> does not have <s>the</s> time to look for something in the stores around the city, it is really useful to look for and receive purchases <s>it</s> directly at home.

On the other hand, this system of purchas<s>es</s>ing is having a strong impact on local shops. The harsh rules of <s>the </s>globalization (I don't understand what you mean by the harsh rules of globalization) tend to penalize those who are smaller<s>, </s>and who do not have enough resources to keep up with the market requirements.(Can you give an example?) Many stores can be even forced to close if their income is not sufficient to pay all the expenses.(This seems normal for any business. DO you mean that the there is competition with online shops and small shops are losing customers so they are unable to pay there bills?) I love (buying) shopping online and I often do it. <s>But</s>, However, thinking about the consequences, sometimes I feel like I am not acting ethically.

In conclusion, I believe that online shopping can improve <s>the life-quality of buyers </s>the quality of life of shoppers. However, its <s>reflects</s> effectson the local economies may be extremely damaging. That is why our society should try to balance the needs of the consumers with the protection of local traders. (Good intro, advantages and conclusion. The confusing part was about the disadvantages. I hope my questions in that part help you)

Missed Messages on Skype

Sometimes, <s>the notification of Skype</s> the skype notification on my phone doesn't work. I received an email from Microsoft today saying that I had a missed message on Skype. The missed message was sent to me 3 days ago. <s>And</s> I also found two more missed messages on Skype, one of which was sent to me 2 days ago<s>, the</s> The other was sent to me yesterday. I would like to know <s>the</s> a way to avoid this kind of<s> trouble</s>.problem.

スカイプの不在着信メッセージ

スカイプの通知がうまく働かないことが時々ある。今日マイクロソフトから、スカイプで不在着信メッセージがあるとのメールが来た。そのメッセージは3日前に送信されたものだった。確かめると、他にも2件あって、一昨日と昨日に送信されたものだった。この手の不具合を避ける方法が知りたい。

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Line Chart

Please help me correct this task -

The chart shows the changes in the number of emigrants from Ireland and the percentage of unemployed citizens over a 20-year time frame from 1988 to 2008.

Overall, the unemployment rate <s style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">had</s> declined significantly during this period. <s style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">in the surveyed</s> period. Between 1988 and 1990,<s> people who were</s> the number of unemployed people <s>represented</s> dropped from 17% <s>had dropped </s>to 12%. It then <s>Slightly</s> increased slightly by 3% in 1992 <s>and since then </s> but then <s>reduced </s><s style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"> </s>fell constantly to 6%. After 2002, the percentage of unemployed people remained stable<s> till </s> until 2008.

In 1988, the people who decided to leave Ireland <s>were</s> was around 17%, but <s>had since</s> then dropped dramatically to 9% by 1992. In the period between 1922 and 2004 the number of emigrants fluctuated <s>in the range</s> between 6%-9%. Interestingly, the number gradually increased <s>by the </s> again from the end of 2004 <s>till </s> to 2008.

The chart indicates that while the unemployment rate remained fairly stable at around <s>6</s> 8% <s>in the last </s> over a 10-year period <s>from the research data</s>, the number of emigrants compared to the number of unemployed <s> were people</s> was less stable<s> and would probably continue to rise after 2008. (</s>do not make predictions)