IELTS writing topic

Subject: International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do Advantages outweigh the disadvantages
My answer:
By traveling to the other countries, we find so many interesting things for ourselves. Actually, when people visit other countries, they can become familiar with new cultures and find make new international friends. Moreover, [for countries that accommodate travelers / for host countries], tourists / travelers can stimulate their economy. In this essay, I’m going tell more details about all advantages of traveling. [Good introduction. You might try to be more explicit about your position in relation to the questions, so: When it comes to travel, I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages... In this essay, I will discuss two advantages to travel in greater detail].

First of all, travel allows people to experience new cultures. In the other word, they self-developing their self by visiting new countries [Do you mean that experiencing new cultures allows one to learn more about themselves? You should develop this connection]. In addition, they can make new friends. I think new friends give us present us with new opportunities to developing ourselves. For example, by talking with new people we can find something new for about ourselves. [OK, now you've made the connection with travel and self-development, but if you write "in addition", it gives the sense that you are moving to a new idea] Also, we can the local languages which are really important if one wants to be successful today. [How so?] Additionally, by learning new languages we develop our brains and improve our logical skills.[How so?] 

The second, by visiting new countries we increase the economy of the countries [ you can also try: travelers can contribute to a country's economic well-being]. When people travel to the other countries, they bring money to the place where they are going to visit. It’s a good chance when countries have so many travelers “ more visitor, more money” [avoid "actually", it takes away the emphasis from the content of the sentence]. Therefore, those countries can benefit economically. Of course, the a country's economy should not only depends on.the income from tourists, but host countries should not overlook the benefits offers by travelers.

In conclusion, I would like to emphasize the advantages of traveling over the disadvantages. [All reasons which were mentioned are great positive events that could happen]. However, we should keep in mind that everything depends on us.

[Good work. Too long so I had to cut. Try to be more descriptive with examples. Tell a good story.]

The changing Wworking environment in Vietnamese banks Vietnam.

In the 2000s, Economic situation developed strongly, there were lots of world organizations invested in Vietnam. since then our government allowed to found lots of banks to support business activities.

A decade ago, with a healthy economy and a steady stream of foreign investment, the Vietnamese government sought to expand banking institutions across the country in order to support a burgeoning business environment.

At that time, the banks were the work place that were chosen by most of students and officials.

As the number of banks rose, so did the demand for a workforce. As a result, jobs in the banking sector quickly became the most sought after by students in (officials).

Because of lacking in labor force, working in banks was quite ease and didn't require too many working related experience or professional knowledge standard. Moreover, high salary was also an element to attract people.

Since there were far more job openings than applicants, securing a job in the banking sector was relatively easy: it required little experience and did not conform to high professional standards. Moreover, the banking sector offered comparatively high salaries.

But since 2010 until now, the banks haven't a good choice to work.

Since 2010, things have changed dramatically in the banking sector.

In recent years, there have too many students studying banking major.

The situation now is the reverse: there are too many applicants and too few job openings.

This create a superabundance in working market.

If someone want to enter a bank, they have to pass an interview, got excellent result in the university or even base on relationship or money.

Nowadays, the competition is fierce: interviews are rigorous and applicants need top university scores.

Beside, to compete with other competitors, everybank sets a targets for each member and force them must get it.

Additionally, since the workforce is so overabundant, people who have jobs have become expendable and easily replaceable.

If they can't do it, they're fired immediately.

There is no longer any job security: workers can be fired without notice and with no justification.

In my internship term, I have an opportunity to intern at a famous bank in Vietnam.

I was fortunate enough to secure an internship at a prestigious national bank.

Although, I've heard lots of busy and competition in the bank, I'm still shocked with the working environment there.

Though I had heard of the dire climate in Vietnamese banks, I was completely shocked by what I saw over my time at the bank.

All member start working at 7am and finish at 8 or 9 pm.

People worked excessively long days, from 7am up until 8 or 9pm.

Most of staffs complaint about working they have to suffer too many pressures in life. But they still try and attempt to complete their work as good as possible.

Most people regularly complained about the long hours and the high pressure, but every one of them was still compelled to persistently compete with their follow colleagues.

[Nice work. Hard topic to discuss.]

today's job

I should have woken up a awaken couple of hours ago, but last night i sleep went to bed too late, then that's it.
Yesterday, i permise i will I promised to cook for my friend's bf. Now i think i should cook his dinner. and i need to go to my dorm to get my clothes. i wash these did laundry yesterday for that i was afraid that my clothes terriblely thinking these would not be dry by the time until i back to my I got home far away here. oh no. i must let  have them dry within by today. so i must should put them under directly in the sunshine.

Nicely done. Watch out for capital letters.

Moving to Montreal!

I arrived in Montreal a week ago and began study in an exchange program at McGill University. Being here is really challenging: I'm immersed in a completely new environment, with plenty of new experiences ahead and lots of students to meet from all over the world. To take part in this exchange program, I was required to have an intermediate level in English, but within the first week I recognized that my preparation was insufficient. So I decided to get back on board with Italki in order to improve my language skills. The last time I accessed this platform was to learn French, since I was living in Paris at the time. Now I feel like French is not a problem anymore, due to the fact that in Paris I met my girlfriend, a French native speaker with whom I spoke French all the time.
Considering that most of my work here consists of reading books, I started trying to concentrate on building my academic vocabulary. I've spent a week concentrating on every single word of the texts: everytime I found an unknown word I stopped to check its meaning and to write it down on my textbook.
But beyond the passive comprehension of the language, I'm also required to actively participate in class discussions. Provided that I share classes with native English speakers, who can be competitive at times, the struggle for an international student like myself is significant. So, here is the reason why I write on Italki: getting better as fast as I can to be able to actively take part in class discussions!

Sounds awesome! Congrats on getting in at McGill! That's a great university and I'm sure you'll learn plenty. The volume of reading and writing in store for you will definitely get your English skills up. Good luck!