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Writing part 1. Essay. Healthy food

It is a trend to stay Although it is very popular to be healthy and to keep fit nowadays; however, this is not the case for the younger people. as for young people, they don’t pay attention to their health and fitness.The following reasons could be why:

Firstly, the modern lifestyle of the youth is all about publicity and propaganda. Everywhere we can advertisements of see burgers, ice-cream, coca-cola, designed by the best designers. Children don’t realize how harmful these products are. about these harmful products. Although, On the other hand, the parents should be ready for educating their children about healthy food and restrict them from having junk food like not allowed to eat a useless meal, like burgers or cola.

Secondly,  almost nobody likes many students dislike physical education lessons staying at school. As a result, these children face strong inertia to exercise.  little percent of children have a good health.

It is necessary to improve education system about in healthy living, explaining educating the most important aspects of proper eating food and physical exercises. 

However, in comparison, In contrast to people above under the age of 25 know about healthy living and the importance of realize all about fitness. Also, thanks to the influences of social media,  they try to stay in shape to look good. generally.

In conclusion, I feel that the exposure and education of healthy living and fitness is very important in determining the perception people have. Although there are many facilities and opportunities to stay healthy and keep fit, it ultimately lies in the person to be motivated and determined to stay healthy and fit.

In conclusion, I would agree with the statement because although we have a lot of opportunities to be healthy, there is nothing to change in lifestyle without looking up of physical education from the school time.

government spending a lot of money in art

However, I beg to differ. I feel that good investment in art will lead individual aesthetics and even morality to higher level, which will make our society more harmonious. Besides, The art market is also capable of attracting will attract a lot of related experts and investors, and will be well stimulate the economy to grow faster. In the long term, the art industry can be one important engine to the country's economic development as this market has combined effect.

As for the drawback on the art investments, it could have possibly stemmed from the worries of improper investments on art that will result in considerable financial deficit and the 'engine' will convert to 'burden' finally. Hence, the people think that  endorse that it is better to invest on other fields such as public service and facilities. I do agree that Firstly, good facilities such as public parks and transportation systems will provide more convenience to the people. be very convenient to daily life. Secondly, Also, public facilities such as infrastructure investment will lead to improvement in employment rate and ensure satisfactory economic growth. 

From my own perspectives, investment on art can be an additional option to investment on other fields which are essential to society develop. Anyway, public services and facilities is priority in society development, only sufficient money can be put into art field.

Comments. 

The topic you've touched on is good but some of your sentences are hard to comprehend. The flow of your points are also slightly disrupted. I'd recommend for you to keep your sentences simpler and focus on coming out with the structure of your essay which in this case can be

1. introduction of the topic - the government's investment in the art industry

2. Reasons for supporting the investment in the art industry

3. Reasons for not supporting the investment in the art industry.

Please help me review!

For example, median central Europe has a dark history reputation with of the upper class’s crucial treatment of the plebian. At that time, common people’s behavior was, amid that time, controlled primarily by nobles. Moreover, this types of The social hierarchy also failed fails to provide the common people their deserved rights adequate right for common people, which in turn conversely triggered numerous disasters amongst the their people.

On the other hand, Whereas in the modern society, it is unlikely for someone to be seriously punished or killed when they defy a due to defy someone’s command. This intensive contrast is a significant signal that individual of modern is able to use own willingness to determine behavior with less barricades than the past several eras in history. This is a significant and positive change from historical times as it now allows an individual to express his or her own opinions without difficulty. 

Introducing Myself

IELTS Essay Practice - Any feedback would be deeply appreciated.

I would rewrite it as: Indeed, the trend of shopping is moving towards a preference for larger shopping centers. I think that it is a positive development for the following reasons. 

Firstly, the reasons why customers in the recent years prefer large shopping malls instead of the small local shops are countless. I believe that the most obvious attraction of a large shopping mall is the convenience of finding all their needs under one roof and the time and money that the customer may save as a result. Furthermore, most shopping centers not only do offer hundreds of different brands, but they also act as social hubs in many areas. For instance, services like movie theatres, restaurants, and even gyms are available in shopping centers that encourage families to spend the weekends in malls. Bigger shops also From a financial perspective, huge shops often offer exclusive discounts and membership cards, allowing customers to save money by being a regular customer of these places.

Secondly, In my opinion, there are two main factors that make shopping from local shops an unsatisfying experience. Firstly, more often than not, local shops are located in crowded streets that makes finding a parking spot almost impossible for the customers. Moreover, Secondly, the price of goods offered in local shops is relatively higher than those that of those are offered in shopping malls. Local stores often have fewer competitors in the area, whereas in a large shopping centers have several stores that may price differently for sell similar products. Hence, and consequently, people can find the best deals available for a product they need.

In conclusion, for the convenience, savings and experience that the customer can get, it is understandable that people are choosing to shop at larger malls instead.  from my perspective, the current trend toward shopping from mega malls instead of small local markets should be seen as a progress for the above-mentioned reasons.

Good points, although I would also think about how this is affecting the smaller stores. If all of these small stores close down, people will have to drive out a few miles just to get to a mall, as compared to having a small grocer just 5 minutes away. Also, does this also mean that these mega companies will dominate the industry and these smaller self run stores will disappear and these people's livelihood will be taken away? Is it necessarily a good thing for the market to be dominated by big players only? 

Hello I am Carlos.

Thanks for your help.

Hi Carlos, 

Everything comes with practice! 

Write more and learn from your mistakes and one day you will be able to perfect your writing.