faults normally relate to a person's 缺点或者弱点；use the words "errors" or "mistakes"

"turn something into" means requires keeping some aspect of the original thing and adding something to it. For example, a famous saying: Jesus turned water into wine. (Is it really a miracle to turn one liquid into another?)  So you don't mean "turn into", you mean "offer suggestions", or "make changes" 

"Prior" should changed to "ahead of" or "in front of" 

Question: "How does the "parcel delivery industry help merchants sell goods at competitive prices?" Now remember that advantage suggests that "someone or something" has something that someone else does not have. If all of the merchants can use this service, then what's the advantage?

Your last sentence has no logical connection to the prior sentence.

Courier Service in China

Please help me correct my faults and turn low vocabulary into high vocabulary. In addition, turn simple sentence into advanced sentence pattern. Thanks a lot!!!It is reported that courier services in China will deliver about 12 billion parcels this year, which will make China possibly be prior to America and become the largest courier market in the world. Most of the parcels contain items ordered online. China gives the chances for millions of online merchants to sell their goods at significantly competitive price. Only in 11th November, Chinese consumers buy goods worthed worth 9 billion dollars in the biggest shopping platform in China. China has not don't have a few special shopping days like this. therefore, it is no wonder for courier services to expand in China.