faults normally relate to a person's 缺点或者弱点；use the words "errors" or "mistakes"

"turn something into" means requires keeping some aspect of the original thing and adding something to it. For example, a famous saying: Jesus turned water into wine. (Is it really a miracle to turn one liquid into another?)  So you don't mean "turn into", you mean "offer suggestions", or "make changes" 

"Prior" should changed to "ahead of" or "in front of" 

Question: "How does the "parcel delivery industry help merchants sell goods at competitive prices?" Now remember that advantage suggests that "someone or something" has something that someone else does not have. If all of the merchants can use this service, then what's the advantage?

Your last sentence has no logical connection to the prior sentence.

Courier Service in China

Courier Service in China

It is reported that courier services in China will deliver about 12 billion parcels this year, which will might make allow China possibly be prior to surpass America and become the largest courier market in the world. Most of the parcels contain items ordered online. In China gives the chances for millions of online merchants to sell their goods at significantly competitive prices. Only in In just one day, the 11th of November, Chinese consumers buy bought goods worthed 9 billion dollars in on the biggest shopping platform in China. China has not a few several special shopping days like this, therefore, it is no wonder for courier services to expand will be expanding in China.

[Your phrase "the biggest shopping platform" is not clear. If you were referring to a shopping web site on the internet then the phrase could be "the biggest shopping web site."

The choice to use simple or compound sentences depends upon which would be clearer to your readers. Use compound sentences when closely related ideas or items are being presented. However, very long compound sentences should be broken up into smaller ones.]