The story about a little abalone

Here is a tale I made.  Please correct this tale if you find any mistakes and or awkward sentences.

Once upon a time there was a little abalone named Jeonboc.  <em>[So cute~]</em>

He lived deep in the ocean with his parents and always wanted to know what is there on the top of this ocean.  <em>[I would change "wanted to know" to something like "wondered" because it makes the sentence more concise and is a more descriptive and active verb.  Also, since it's past tense, you should use "was" instead of "is" — "He lived deep in the ocean with his parents and always wondered what it was like above the ocean" // "He lived deep in the ocean with his parents and always wondered what was ashore."  // "He lived deep in the ocean with his parents and always wondered about life above the seafloor," are some examples.]</em>

When he arrived at puberty, he made up his mind to go over the ocean on his own.  <em>["When he reached puberty," sounds a bit more natural.  Also, he is not going "over" the ocean if he is crawling.  Birds can fly over, and boats can sail over, but an abalone crawls.  I think you mean "over" like "I traveled over miles and miles of land" but in this case, it becomes a little confusing.  "Across" might be a better word.  Or you can phrase it "He made up his mind to cross the ocean on his own."]</em>

He crawled along slowly towards the surface for 365 days. <em>[What a long journey he had!  Jeonboc 화이팅!]</em>

Finally he reached the beach.  <em>[yay~]</em>

There, however, was nothing but a thick fog.  <em>[When you use "however" this way, it sounds a bit funny.  It would be appropriate in other situations.  You could say, "However, there was nothing but thick fog." // "There was nothing but thick fog, however." // "However, all Jeonboc could see was thick fog."]</em>

Examples of "however" in different sentences:

.. The dogs loved to eat pizza.  The horses, however, hated the flavor of sausage.

.. Today the weather forecast looks perfect for a picnic!  Tomorrow, however, would be a terrible day for picnicking; it's supposed to rain all day.

.. On Mars it's perfectly normal to wear three pairs of sunglasses at the same time.  On Earth, however, doing so would just look silly!

So the format I used is [subject one][sentence].  [subject two][HOWEVER][contrasting sentence].

Not seeing anything, Jeonboc couldn't help but go back to his home.  <em>[It sounds a bit smoother to say "Not seeing anything, Jeonboc couldn't help but return home." // "Not seeing anything, Jeonboc couldn't help but go back home."  The preposition isn't needed.  It's not grammatically incorrect, but it sounds more natural these other ways.]</em>

안녕하세요, Bunch 씨~

지금 제가 너무 너무 피곤해요.  It's 4:40 A.M. here~  아직 자지 않아요.  ~.~

If I made any typos, I apologize ^^;;  Please forgive me :D