To raise the level of formality, you could try the following: If you would like to know.... If you would be interested to know... For those interested in finding out the result of ..... (although this is more common for an interactive lecture style rather than a technical paper) Hope that helps.

文章はよいけど、だいたいand the beauty isは良い状態だけに使います。だから、「あっ、財布を忘れてしまった」のような状態でほとんど使いません。もっと自然はI had been saving up for two months to buy something and the beauty was, when I went to get it it was half price!ってことです。

このand the beauty isは「この状態の中の面白い部分」という意味です。例えば、もしただの飛行機チケットをもらったのに「プラズとか、カードのポイントとかのおかげで」また飛行所でアプグエイドされると"I got upgraded at the airport. 'And the beauty is', I didn't even pay for my ticket in the first place!ということです。 それなら使い方が分かりますか？

My hobbies

I enjoy music. In my free time, I usually listen to music because it makes me relax. If I really want to get relaxing relax, I turn off the lights and light some candles and start listening to slow music.
Also I listen to music when I walk with my dog. Sometimes we play together at the park for 2 hours, so the battery mark turns to be is red when by the time I get home.
I can play the piano a little because I used to work at a kindergarten and nursery school that where teachers have had to be able to play it. I've practiced a lot, but I still can't read musical scores still now. However I have learned how to read musical cords chords and I enjoy playing some of my favorite songs.
I love going to karaoke, too. When I was a student, I enjoyed it with my friends almost every week!
Now, I'm excited to sing a song with my friend at the a concert that is held at the a church in October!

Great job!!

特に予定がなくても、see you soonは大丈夫です。 「またね」と同じ意味です。

Online Gaming

A new style of online games has been getting popular gaining popularity among youngsters since the Pokemon Go was released on the market around the world. Before that, people enjoyed online games sitting in front of PC, with no without moving movement for hours. I have regarded those game players gamers as unhealthy and anorak geeky. However, I have to admit that they have changed and got more active these days. They are walking a lot around the town a lot to get Pokemon characters and share their joys joy with their friends via the SNS such as Facebook, Instagram or Twitter when they make it catch them. They are so alive that I cannot say that they are sedentary guys.

Moreover, I read a heartwarming story about a boy with Pokemon Go on BBC News site. He is autism autistic, and his mother had been trying to take him a walk get him out walking for a long time, but she didn't make it couldn't do it. He was also a typical gamer who spend spent almost all day to play playing with on his PC.

Soon after the Pokemon Go came out to his hand, he changed dramatically. He started asking his mother to take him to streets outside to get Pokemon characters. According to his mother, now he goes out twice a day, after breakfast and before supper. She told his talked about change on the net with a full of the smile on her face and tears in her eyes. 

Since I read it, I have been positive toward the online games. It might change the our way of our life.