Can someone correct it?

Dear Ms. Apleber:
Hello, my name is Carlos Abel, and I’m writing this letter in order to give you to offer some suggestions about the Job and Career center that will be opened next year should offer.
I, as a high school student, think that the new center should have a program of vocational guidance, and also that it should offer lessons about basic college courses, of college for these reasons: I’m going to explain below.
First, the new center should offer vocational guidance in order to help students feel less scared about making career plans, so there that students can know more about their future careers and also make his or her their elections earlier.
Second, the new Job and Career center might offer lessons about basic college courses of college because that is would very useful for so that students to be prepared could prepare for new the knowledge they will acquire. in college.
To conclude, I’m very excited about knowig to know that this center will be opened next year, and I hope you will take in consideration consider my suggestions.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Carlos Abel

Grade 12, Lope de Vega High School, Valparaiso, Chile (or wherever you go to school. You have to sign the letter.)

Good job!

Can someone correct it?

Dear Ms. Apleber:,
Hello, my name is Carlos and I’m writing this letter in order to give you some suggestions about the Job and Career center that will be opened next year should offer.
I, As a high school student, I think that the new center should have a program of vocational guidance and also it should offer lessons about basic courses of for college for the reasons I’m going to explain below.
First, the new center should offer vocational guidance in order to help students feel less scary frightened about making career plans, so there that students can know more about their future career and also can make his or her their elections early.
Then, Further, the new Job and Career center might offer a lesson (or lessons) about basic courses of at college because that is very useful for to students to be prepared for new knowledge in college.
To conclude, I’m veruy excited about knowing to know that this center will be opened next year and I hope you take into consideration my suggestions.