1.抓不住美女

comments:抓不住 means 'can not catch something',抓不住美女=you can not catch the beauty.But I can understand the meaning that you want to say one girl that you can not get .so you should say "梦寐以求的女神”means the nymph in your dream.

2.小姐⋯⋯一闭眼睛，就看到你的脸，不愿意再睁开。

comments:小姐 should be used in young girl in China.Because it means a hooker more than a lady in china daily life.maybe you can say "甜心(pronuciation 'tian xin')“means"Sweet heart".

3 睡觉是我最快乐的时间，因为在梦里，可以多多陪你，可以多多拉你的手。清醒却是我最讨厌的时间，发现人的手却是空的。

comments:发现人的手却是空的--->发现我的手却是空的：人 can means anyone ,我 can means me.

4 是这个时间本人忍不住，朋友们都说我疯了、说应该放心、说中国美女那么多，干嘛一直追一个。--->每当这时我忍不住悲伤。朋友们都说我疯了，说应该放弃，说‘天涯何处无芳草,何必单恋一支花’？

comments:是这个时间should is 每当这时，'每当这时' means 'when something is happen'.本人should is 我，本人 often used in official announcement.忍不住 should be followed one verb..In my opinion,it should be followed by "悲伤（pronuciation'bei shang')；

               说应该放心should is 说应该放弃。说应该放心means 'don't worry',说应该放弃 means'you should give up'

tips:说中国美女那么多，干嘛一直追一个 in ancient chinese can be summarize'天涯何处无芳草，何必单恋一支花‘。’天涯何处无芳草，何必单恋一支花（pronuciation tian ya he chu wu fang cao，何必单恋一支花)means' you can find beauty in anywhere if you insist to find.why you love only  the one flower?'

5.但，我不要那么多美女，只要你那个最美丽的一个女生。 --->但，我不要那么多，只要你一个。

comments:美女，那个最美丽的 are too repeated.女生can be omitted ,because obviously 你 in this composition should is a girl.

tips:但，我不要那么多美女，只要你那个最美丽的一个女生。 in ancient chinese can be summarize'曾经沧海难为水‘ means' if someone had swimming in sea,he/she does not want back to river to swim.

jojo,if you are satisfied with my comments for you composition,please give me some comments to my composition too. thank you.