I would be very glad if you could correct my essay !!

TAXES ON UNHEALTHY FOOD

While a large number of people in underdeveloped countries suffer <s>has still been suffering</s> from famine, <s>over the last decades</s> obesity in wealthy countries has been steadily increasing. Even though not anyone agrees, I <s>personally</s> believe that in order to solve the problem of obesity in wealthy countries, <s>country</s> governments should <s>increase</s> tax the purchase of unhealthy foods.

First, <s>One of the main reasons is the fact that the abuse </s> the consumption of unhealthy foods may cause the rise of serious illnesses. For example, carbonated drinks and snack foods that are high in sugar have been linked to diabetes. In order to prevent this, governments should consider <s>surging</s> increase the prices of unhealthy food through taxation. Accordingly, the price of healthy food and unhealthy food would be comparable and people might choose healthy food instead.

Second, <s>Moreover, </s>there should be a <s>more</s> campaign against fast food, sugary drinks or confectionaries so as to make people aware of the problem. You need an example here.

<s>In</s> <s>addiction</s> [wrong word] t<s>o this, </s>

Third, unhealthy food is dangerous for the environment. For example, <s>In support of this, it should be remembered that </s>the large amount of <s>meet</s> meat needed in fast-food chains is one of the main causes of environmental pollution because the animal waste enters streams and rivers. Moreover, animals are treated cruelly and forced to gain weight in order to produce more milk or to have more meat to be sold [This phrase sounds odd in American English].

Fourth, increasing taxes on dangerous products has been successful <s>previously with different products,</s> in reducing the consumption of cigarettes. It has been proven that a smaller number of people <s>has been</s> smoke today compared to the recent past. Beside the campaigns and advertisements against smoking, the success in reducing the amount of smoking-addicted people has been caused by the great surge in cigarette prices.

Clearly many people believe that the increase of taxes of unhealthy food limits their freedom and so are unwilling to accept it. Obviously, a great number of people are used to regularly consuming them, but I personally believe that if the companies stopped to promote this kind of products, they would easily choose something else.

Finally, taxes on unhealthy food may bring <s>to more</s> wiser <s>ly</s> choices in buying products. <s>However, healthy food should be less expensive, so as to be more competitive in the market. </s><s>[</s>You can't introduce a new concept in the conclusion]. Taxing unhealthy foods will reduce illnesses like diabetes. There should be a campaign promoting healthy eating. Unhealthy foods harm the environment. In summary, taxing unhealthy foods would reduce illnesses like diabetes and be good for the environment. [This is a sample of how a conclusion looks like - Try to play with this paragraph so it looks like your essay.]