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  • Posted
    Writing Club: Day 11
    This is the Writing Club, a place where everyone can write an essay about a topic that will change daily. You can write about what you want and feel.
    For today's topic you have to describe a celebration of your country.
    This is not a competition; mistakes are welcome here.
    <em>The writing club is going to become weekly.</em>
     
    if someone wants correction, put in your text "This text allows correction". 

    My essay:
    In Brazil, we have a celebration called Carnival (Carnaval), it is celebrated in February for at least one week, in this festival, we dress up, go to the streets and dance all day, following a “trio elétrico”, some states have samba schools, and they make a special parade with huge structures and awesome choreography, these schools battles for the tittle of champion of the year.
    May 18, 2019
    0
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  • Commented
    Bashir text:
    .........her heart accelerates, but she continues jogging(1), picking up speed, she felt the beast behind her, picked up speed as well, she dares to(2) not look back to the beast until she heard the supposed beast called out her name "Amanda"(!!!) I have been waiting for you on the Skype platform(3), to join me, so we could further practice on my spoken English until I've seen(4) you jog by, so(5) I decided to follow you(6). Suddenly, she stops, and say: oops! I thought it was a bear behind me............

    1: Orthography mistake.
    2: you dare to do something.
    3: Readability.
    4: You want the result of the action not the time when the action happened, therefore use present perfect.
    5: Link phrases with conjunctions, when you can.
    6: Redundancy.

    Good job!
    0 voted
    May 18, 2019
    0
  • Commented
    From my perspective used to means you don't do the action anymore, and get used to means you are going to became familiarize with the action 

    0 voted
    May 17, 2019
    0
  • Commented
    Italky do not let me put everything in a single comment.
    0 voted
    May 17, 2019
    0
  • Commented
    Olga essay:
    PT2--In this movie women were killed, it was tragedy for me.

    1:”used to” is used when you want to say that you don't do this anymore, example:
    I used to smoke (at the present time, I don't smoke anymore).
    2: which is used, because what came is optional to the meaning of the phrase.
    3: you ride horses.
    4: Orthography mistake
    5: Try to not use period when you could use comma with a conjunction. (this will improve your text readability)
    6: Try to not repeat words
    7: “thought” is a past tense verb so the verb “be” should follow this tense.
    8: past, because you are telling a past event
    Good job! Olga, women now can do anything.
    0 voted
    May 17, 2019
    0
  • Commented
    Olga essay:
    When I was a kid, my favorite book was 'The Three Musketeers'. And there was a famous Russian movie about them, that's why my beloved game was — to be d'Artagnan. I used to run(1) through the forest with a long stick, which(2) was my sword, yelling famous phrases from the movie and fighting with bushes, which(2) was cardinal guardsmen. I was eager to ride(3) horses, but hadn't(4) this opportunity, however(5) my friend could ride(3) them(6), but one day he fell down(8) and broke his neck, for that reason(5) his mother prohibited him to go to the farm forever. I thought to be a man was(7) interesting, they have a lot of adventures, but women's life is boring — to wait at home and cook something. PT1
    0 voted
    May 17, 2019
    0
  • Posted
    Writing Club: Day 10
    This is the Writing Club, a place where everyone can write an essay about a topic that will change daily. You can write about what you want and feel.
    For today's topic you have to describe a child’s play (what you played when you were a kid).
    This is not a competition; mistakes are welcome here.
     
    if someone wants correction, put in your text "This
    text allows correction". 

    My essay
    When I was a kid, I played with my brothers a game called: detective, victim and assassin (detetive, vitima e assasino), in this game you must write the names in a paper, cut it and then chose blindly. If you pick the detective, you must look for the assassin among the victims, and shout “You are under arrest”, when you find him. If you pick the assassin you must kill the victims, to do this you have to blink to them. If you pick the victim you must die when an assassin blinks to you, however you will not die instantly you need to wait 2 or 3 seconds, to not reveal the assassin.
    May 16, 2019
    8
    3
  • Commented
    Archana text tips:

    1: "A", because you haven't met the kid before and you don't need to say the number of kids.
    2: Ortography mistake
    3: Present perfect, because the action of not seeing a path still exist in the present, you just want the result of not seeing, not the time when it has happened.
    4: Try to not repeat words.
    5: The action of gets wet is temporary, thus use "get"
    6: this, for the reason the action has happened in near time.
    7: The story is in the past, so the verb need to follow the tense.

    Good job! I hope this helps you!
    0 voted
    May 16, 2019
    0
  • Commented
    Archana text:
    A(1) kid was following her. She suddenly stopped and asked: Why(2) are you following me? You can choose another way. The kid told her: I haven't seen(3) another path, that's the reason(4) I am following you, and we can move fast through the trees, otherwise we will get(5) wet, after this(6) both of them ran fast(7).
    0 voted
    May 16, 2019
    0
  • Commented
    Off topic
    imran abrar this topic is to training creativity, if you want me to correct your essays, I will. I'm not a native, but I am going to do my best on this task. As imran abrar wants correction, if someone wants this too, put in your text "This text allows correction". Thanks, and let's keep writing.
    0 voted
    May 16, 2019
    0