Please correct this formal email for me if there is a problem,thank you

I registered to apply for a long term visa for job seeker with reference number : xxxxx and Passport number : zzzzzz
Unfortunately, The email I entered for registration is blocked and I do not have access to it.
Please remove my registration from the system, So I can re-register with another email.
I have attached my passport image to you in this email

Corrected
I registered to apply for a long term visa to seek a job with reference no. xxxxx and Passport no. zzzzz
Unfortunately, the e-mail, I entered for registration, has got blocked and I don't know how to access it.
Please remove my registration from the system so that I can re-register using another e-mail.
I already have attached my Passport image with this e-mail. 

I went to an exciting concert today.
Its group makes up of almost similar age as me.
They always give me courage and spirit.
After that, I'm getting motivated for the job and English goal better than yesterday by them.
I thought that artist has a very strong transmission power.
I'd like to become a having person who has transmission power as same as them.

I went to an exciting concert today. The group members were of my age. They always give me courage and spirit. After that, I got more motivation for the job and English goal than yesterday. 
I think those artists are great influencers. I'd like to become an influencer like them.

Hi, my name is Alondra and I was studied english for one year, i need to practics with someone for improve my english level, somebody can help me?

Corrected:- 
Hi, my name is Alondra and I have been studying English from one year. I need to practice with someone/somebody to improve my English level. Can someone/somebody help me?

Hi, my name is Alondra and I was studied english for one year, i need to practics with someone for improve my english level, somebody can help me?

Corrected:- 
Hi, my name is Alondra and I have been studying English from one year. I need to practice with someone/somebody to improve my English level. Can someone/somebody help me?