[The italki system won't allow a longer response than this, even though it is 2677 chars but they say it is over 5000!] [I have to split up the story and correct half and half. I think it is counting the color and italics and bold as characters.]

I have tried to save it in .doc, .rtf, and now .txt format.

Embarrassing experience while job hunting present participle as adjective

[part 1] You have written 2 very long sentences in this part. I think you should understand what a period is for and what a comma does. A period is a full stop, a red light. If I was reading the sentence, I would probably take a breath in that pause. A period marks the completion of a statement of a thought. A comma, however, is a pause, a yellow light. It is a little breather inside a sentence. Commas are followed by a single space. So, I would try to stick to short or medium length sentences with the occasional long one – provided you use proper punctuation.

Today I was quite embarrassed, as I was declined by a company which I had interviewed 2 times previously with their HR and General manager,
>Today I was quite embarrassed, as I/my job application was rejected by a company for which I had already been interviewed twice by their HR and General Manager.
Usage of decline is as in decline an invitation, decline an offer, but not decline an applicant.
 
they expressed their satisfaction with both of my working experience and capability,and had showed they desire to give me an offer afterwards,
>They had [earlier in the previous interviews] expressed their satisfaction with both my work experience and capabilities/abilities, and had showed/indicated that they desired/wanted to give/make me an offer [to offer me a position] afterwards.
 
today it is the 3rd interview between me and a senior employee in this department.
From my point of view, it was a strange interview.
>Today I had the third interview with a senior employee in this [which? HR? SAP?] department.
From my point of view, it was a strange interview.

At first,she asked the another junior employee(a new comer) to join in the interview,and introduced the job resposibility briefly,
>At first, she had asked another junior employee (a newcomer) to join in the interview. She [or the newcomer?] then briefly introduced/described/outlined/ran through the job responsibilities.
 
but it seemed she was not willing to be open to some of quesions,
>But [all along] it seemed she was not willing to be open to some of my questions.
 
and then,she asked me to give a detailed illustration to the work flow in my previous company both in document and SAP to the junior employee!
>Then she asked me to give a detailed illustration/description of the work flow in my previous company regarding both documents/documentation and SAP to the junior employee!

Yesterday, our monitor sent a message for us about change the new dorm next term.
Yesterday, our class monitor sent us [1] a message about changing [2] to the new dorm next term.
Note: 1) indirect object goes before direct object, as in <em>I gave her the book. </em>But <em>I gave the book to her </em>is also acceptable, but probably less common.
2.1) <em>change </em>should be a <em>changing</em>, a gerund,since it follows the preposition about.
2.2) you <em>change rooms</em> and <em>change clothes</em> and <em>change your mind, </em>and I guess you can<em> change dorms</em>, but then you would have to drop the <em>new </em>and say: ..<em>.sent us a message about changing dorms next term</em>.
2.3) it might be better to say
Yesterday, our class monitor sent us a message about switching to the new dorm next term.
 
I hope old roomates will live together agian,but it's impossible. because we are in differnt class.
I hope <em>my </em>old roomates <em>and I</em> [1] will live together <strike>agian</strike> again, but it's impossible. because we are in differnt classes.
3.1 Unless you are making a general statement about hoping that all old rommates will be together in the new term, you might want to show that you are talking about <em>your </em>old roomates and also include yourself in the group, too.

It's a problem raising, my friend Yuki call me and invit me to join them first, and then my old roomates who in my class, she want to live with me. but I don't like.
<strike>It's a problem raising.</strike><strike> </strike>It raises a problem.
First, my friend Yuki called me and invited me to join them [her and her class mates], and then <em>one of</em> my old roomates who is in my class<strike>, she </strike>wanted to live with me. But I don't like that idea.
> First, my friend Yuki called me and invited me to join them, and then one of my old roomates who is in my class said she wanted to live with me.

I'm evry appreciate that she thinks about the interests of me. I'm sorry to her and I accepted Yuki's invitation.
I<strike>'m evry  </strike>really appreciate the fact that she thinks about <strike>the</strike> my interests <strike>of me</strike>.

I'm sorry to her and I accepted Yuki's invitation.
> (probably what you means to say is)  I told her I'm sorry and that I had accepted Yuki's invitation.  OR (but probably less likely)
I told her I'm sorry and then I accepted Yuki's invitation.

Hello Every Body
> Hello, everybody!

Hi, my name is Mohamed <strike>, </strike>
> Hi, my name is Mohamed.

im from Egypt and i wanna learn English bcos i will use it in my work and travel.
> I'm from Egypt and I want to learn English because I will use it in my work and travel.

If your notebook entry is for only spoken English or SMS text messaging, then what you had is entirely correct.

If you want to keep your notebook with proper spelling and a bit more formal level of English, then the above corrections should apply.

Perhaps at the beginning of each notebook entry you can say which kind of fluency you want: spoken or written.

^ ^

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

I want to talk with <strike>the</strike> more people who <strike>is</strike> not in <strike>c</strike>hina,
> I want to talk with more people who are not in China. OR
  I want to talk with more people outside of China.  OR
  I want to talk more with people outside of China. [little different meaning]

and now I <strike>am </strike>need good <strike>e</strike>nglish for what I am doing.
> and now I need good English for what I am doing. OR
   and now I need good English for my job.

<strike>The </strike>poor <strike>e</strike>nglish effect my communication with other<strike>,</strike>
> My poor English affects my communication with others.

[new sentence]
<strike>t</strike>hat is all.
That is all.  OR
That's all.

Good try!  ^ ^