dear friends, this is an exercise for ielts test, thank you for you kind help!

Question: Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities study together. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The issue of whether academic abilities should be regarded as the sole criterion in terms of selecting students has sparked off an intense debate. Some people hold that academic abilities should serve as the only standard, while others claim that other capabilities should be taken into consideration as well. I personally advocate the latter idea.

On the one hand, supporters of the former belief point out that it is of paramount significance for universities to give a higher priority to academic abilities. That is mainly because absorbing theoretical knowledge is the first step in becoming proficient in a variety of areas, which means application could be achieved only after systematic study of theory. What is more, being academically inclined is conducive to achieving more in one’s career. A person without enough academic capabilities and knowledge is less likely to be successful.

On the other hand, opponents of the idea incline to believe that the selection standards should include not only academic abilities but also a series of other qualities such as perseverance and responsibility. First and foremost, given that universities are considered as a platform to foster students’ different kinds of skills in an attempt to help them integrate into society, they should take comprehensive skills into consideration when selecting appropriate students. In addition, it is widely known that even if a person possesses academic knowledge, it does not mean that he or she will excel at the job. By contrast, someone equipped with both academic abilities and a wide range of other abilities may be more likely to succeed in the career.

To conclude, I concede that although academic abilities are of great importance for universities to choose students, they should not be considered as the only criterion. Instead, they should focus more on those students with a variety of talents.

A lot of the things I changed are suggestions to avoid repetition, since you tend to repeat the same words a lot (academic abilities, capabilities, idea, etc.)