Peter, speaks , learning , from - italki

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I used to teach English. Now I am working full-time in science and would like to go back to improve my Spanish skills. Hace mucho enseñe el ingles. Ahora trabajo en la ciencias, y quiero volver a mejorar mi español, que empecé hablar cuando vivia en el sur de Chile.

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Corrected
Hi Maria, see the corrections below. "comfortable" is usually used to describe a physical feeling or a feeling you get from being with someone, e.g. "My friend Jack is so nice. I always feel comfortable around him." It may not be the best word to describe your feelings about a day. Day 186/365 Hi guys! My day off is almost over, I'm feeling relaxed. I spent the day with my husband. I made breakfast with coffee for us. After that, we wanted to go out and played badminton, but the weather these days is really uncomfortable 🥵. It's too hot and humid. We came back home, then drove to a supermarket, and bought food for several days. My husband cooked delicious sushi for lunch 😋! We've eaten (we ate ) so much... 😅 [both tenses are correct but they mean something slightly different in each case] I did house gardening. I have some flowers in our flat. In the afternoon there was a thunderstorm. It's still raining outside but not so strong.
0 voted
July 5, 2021
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Corrected
0 voted
July 17, 2020
0
Answered
"No, hardly anything" would be the correct answer.
0 voted
July 13, 2020
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Corrected
Corrections already covered by Greg, so I won't share mine.

Anyway, if you do want a few extra pointers, especially in relation to the IELTS Academic Writing, here's something:

Point 1: You need to think more carefully about your paragraphing. Good paragraphs contain one main idea or topic which you will develop through examples and explanations. Now, I can see that you deal with three main ideas between the introduction and conclusion; however, this is only obvious after I rearrange things a little. Greg has already reorganised your essay - the only thing I'd suggest is that you start the first body paragraph with "One problem about an ageing population..." and let the introduction include the sentence before that.

Point 2: You used a fair few linking phrases (therefore, on the other hand, etc.) and you used accurate referencing (As people live longer ... field. They could be consultants ... to the young people). These two things are really important for your CC (Coherence and Cohesion) score. If anything, you probably need to use a bit more of them, and in more varied ways.

Point 3: As Greg says, it's a tough topic. Keep it up and remember that while some things can be easy to fix (paragraphing, using linking words), others take a lot of time. I'm talking about the underlying grammar and vocabulary: keep track of and always try to learn new collocations and idiomatic expressions (make sure you've got some sort of special section in your notebook for these), and always check your spelling. It'll take time but if you fix the "easy" things, the harder things will become easier.

Keep up the good work Chris!
0 voted
July 4, 2020
0
Corrected
[Hi Renu Pandit, good work on your writing. See my corrections below. I'll leave some feedback at the bottom. All the best, Peter]

We are all <s>our</s> rushing to learn a language [1]. Some want to learn for business <s>and job purpose</s>, some for study, and some for raising their skills. However, language only shows off <s>it's</s> all of its features <s>aspects</s> to those <s>them only</s> who love to learn and enjoy that language which they are learning [2]. If you learn a language and you are not able to feel the soul of it then it has no use. Use words to spread the happiness and joy of each language [3]. <s>Then only</s> Only then can the purpose of learning a language <s>can</s> be fulfilled.

[1] running to learn => rushing to learn
[2] serves its aspects => shows off all of its features. I'm a little unclear on the exact meaning of your original phrase, but I think that you want to say something like "language shows its secrets or language gives more information about itself" - is that correct?
[3] We use "the" because you're describing a specific type of happiness/joy.

I hope this has been of help to you!
0 voted
June 22, 2020
2
Corrected
Hi Takao,
An interesting read! Hope you find my corrections below useful.
All the best,
Peter

An Old and New Business

I (just) finished reading a book titled "an old and new business" by Jun'ichiro Shimada. This book is about his business. He started a publishing house when he was 33 years old.
He had been focusing on buying and reading books and writing a novel since he was 20 years old. He won a novel contest held by a university when he was a senior there<s>at the university</s>. Then he stopped looking for a job.
He got a job for <s>his</s> the first time when he was 27 years old. He tried in vain to change jobs even though he had applied for a job fifty times when he was 33 years old. Just around the same time, his cousin, whom he got along with well, died. So he decided to publish a book of a poem, "Death Is Nothing At All" by Henry Scott-Holland for the parents of his cousin.*

* Is the book that he published a collection of poems or just one poem? We may need to rewrite this sentence.
0 voted
June 17, 2020
1
Answered
The reason is because "drunks going missing" is a discrete noun phrase. Whenever we used verbs in a noun phrase they must be transformed into their "-ing" form. The to-infinitive is also possible, but less common. Imagine the sentence like this: There have been a few cases of [A THING (n.)] in [A PLACE (n.)] recently There have been a few cases of measles in Cork recently. There have been a few cases of people getting infected by measles in Cork recently. Hope that helps. All the best, Peter
0 voted
June 17, 2020
1
Corrected
Hi Haru. See the corrections below. I'll leave some feedback at the end of the message. All the best, Peter.

Conveyor belt sushi

I went to the conveyor belt sushi restaurant [1] with my family. We wanted to avoid a crowded time, so we arrived 10 minutes [2] before the <s>opening of</s> the restaurant opened. However, some people were already waiting <s>waited</s> [3]. There are a lot of <s>the style</s> sushi restaurants of this style in Japan, and they are really popular for family and young people because of the price. Fortunately, we got our table without needing to wait<s>ing</s> <s>time</s>. We ate 21 dishes of sushi only 3 people. My favorite sushi is salmon cheese: cheese is placed on the salmon sushi and broiled. As it's really tasty, when you come here you should try it :) It felt (even) more delicious because it had been a while since I went there the last time.

Really good work, Haru. Here are some points to think about:
[1]: If you say that you went to conveyor belt sushi, it sounds like you went to a city/town or a restaurant with that exact name. Don't forget to use "the" when talking about a specific place which you don't name.
[2] Also, when you're writing something informal it's fine to say "10m" or "10 min" but if it's supposed to be a little more formal you should write the full word.
[3]: Be careful with the difference between the past simple and the past continuous. Think about it: are the people still waiting (when you arrive) or have the people gone inside (after waiting for some time but before you arrive)?
0 voted
June 14, 2020
1
Corrected
Hi Sandy, please see the corrections below. I'll give you a little bit of feedback afterwards, too.

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Some people think that work is the most important thing in people's life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued* that work is such an essential part of life** that there will be no meaning in life** if people cannot achieve career success. I only partially agree with this viewpoint as/because/since assuming family responsibilities and broadening people's horizon can also help realise the value of life.

Admittedly, a large number of people link a strong sense of self-worth with professional achievements. Promoted to a high position of management and granted a huge salary, eager beavers typically feel appreciated and valued. They might also enjoy the power and influence they have gained and material possessions such as a penthouse or a fancy car they can afford. Another bonus is that they could use their work expertise to help their subordinates progress quickly/rapidly, and improve the quality of life of their family members***, thus deriving an even greater sense of satisfaction than their personal enjoyment.

However, there are other ways in which people can**** find significance and meaning. For instance, those who take on the role of housewife or househusband can also live meaningfully. They are gratified to see that/how the children brought up by them are finally grown-ups/adults and that***** the breadwinner of their family can focus on their career without worrying about other duties due to their dedication to the family. Other people may just travel for their whole life which makes them feel rewarded as they have experienced the richness of this world.

In conclusion, even though career success can bring people a sense of satisfaction, it is not necessarily the only means of leading a satisfying life. Other <s>types of</s> lifestyles can**** be as desirable as working hard in the workplace.

So, some feedback:
This is a really impressive essay, and it's easy to see how you have achieved 7.0+ in the IELTS. It's a very good example of a logically structured essay with a balanced opinion that doesn't really take either side, which is how everyone should arguably answer these questions.
Personally, as someone whose taught IELTS, I would never really advise making my opinion so clear in the introduction, although in this case I don't think it really causes any issues. I think you're at the level where you can and should make your own stylistic decisions.
Possibly, you could have included a third body paragraph with another point against the thesis of the argument. It could, for example, be on the topic of sports or hobbies and how they too can instill meaning in your life. Again, just something to think about - this is not a correction.

Some errors/slips etc to note:
*...This phrase is fine but it really comes off as a bit too formal. I would always use "It is said" instead of this.
**...We need to say "part of life" or "component of life" but then when we do that we have an issue with repetition. Think of some synonyms or other phrases you can use!
*** "and improve the quality of life of their family members": This is not incorrect but it does sound a little cumbersome. Something like "and improve quality of life at the home" or "and improve quality of life in the family" might be better. Note that in both of these cases we use generalised concepts of home or family.
****...So, in an essay you shouldn't really be saying "oh maybe there are possibly some things that are X". You should be saying things more along the lines of "yes there is this thing and now I'll describe it". What I'm getting at here is that could is too imprecise for these two situations. You are explaining a point. You're not saying that maybe something possibly exists.
*****...We need "that" in both situations here.

I hope this has been of help.

Have a great day - and let me know if you have further questions.

Peter
0 voted
June 5, 2020
1
Commented
Hi Antonella,

regarding is possible but not the best option. involved in is incorrect.
Try a phrase like to do with .

I'm interested in everything to do with technology.

All the best,
Peter
0 voted
June 5, 2020
0