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  • Corrected

    Letter(Today's English National College Entrance Examination)(我的高考第一篇应用文写作15分)

    Dear Ha...什么的(我忘了),
    I'm writing to intive you to stay at my home during Spring Festival, which is scheduled to start on lunar January 1st.
    There will be some family members at home, my parents, two cousins and my sister included. I am firmly convinced that you will be more than happy during this festival. Not only can we watch annual TV shows, but also enjoy eating delicious food. So exicted am I that I can't wait to have this festival with you.
    Looking forward to your reply!
    yours sincerely,
    Li Hua

    There's not much to correct here, so congratulations on your English skills! We may word things differently, such as "You're invited to stay..." instead of telling that you're writing. The recipient knows that you are writing, so it's not necessary to state that you're writing. However, your version is fine. I've corrected a couple sentences as follows: "Not only can we watch annual TV shows, but we can also enjoy eating delicious food. I'm so excited that I can't wait to enjoy this festival with you." Repeating 'we' sounds better, and without it, it sounds awkward. Your word order for the first part of the other sentence is very awkward, and the use of "have" is not quite correct. When you sign off, you'll want to capitalize "Yours." Here is a link to show line spacing for both the greeting and salutation. https://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Friendly-Letter I hope you find it helpful.


    0 voted
    November 18, 2017
    1
  • Corrected
    0 voted
    July 3, 2017
    0
  • Corrected
    0 voted
    June 30, 2017
    0
  • Corrected

    (My terminal English examination passage)(E-mail)

    Dear James:
    It will be the first time that our school has hold the new year photography exhibition,which is scheduled to take place on January 4th to 8th .I'm writing to invite you to visit it with me together because I know that you like photography so much.It will be exhibited in the display hall on the 3rd floor of the ArtCenter.Besides,there will be more than 200 photographic works ,which are provided by teachers and students.I wish you would like it !
    Looking forward to your reply!
    Yours sincerely
    Li Hua

    <font size="3">There are varied ways to correct your letter. Here is another version you could use.</font>

    <font size="3">“Please accept this invitation to our school’s first New Year photography exhibition, held on Jan. 4 – 8</font><sup><font size="2">th</font></sup><font size="3">. It’ll be exhibited in the 3</font><sup><font size="2">rd</font></sup><font size="3"> floor display hall of the Art Center. There’ll be more than 200 photographic works by teachers and students. I know how much you enjoy photography – hope you enjoy this!”</font>

    <font size="3">I rearranged some sentences to be more direct in your invitation. Some words are changed to reflect what is commonly spoken.
    </font>


    0 voted
    June 30, 2017
    2