1223 Ageist

When I was in college, a renowned scientist, aged 82, married a woman who was young enough to be his granddaughter. The scientist was a Nobel Prize winner and a household name in China. I clearly remembered the sudden flip of people’s emotions after the news broke. He used to be widely revered and even taken as a national hero, though technically a Chinese American. Such glory, however, spiralled down the drain when their marriage was announced known. The two instantly became a source of ridicule and insult as people believed there could not be any real love between them. It was a despised combination where one craved wealth and the other youth.

I harbored my share of reservations at that time too, but I also thought this was their own business and, as adults, they were entitled to make the decisions concerning their own lives. What they were doing, though morally questionable, was firstly not against the law, and secondly, not harming anybody. For these reasons concerns, I believed it was not appropriate for any outsiders to be too harsh on them.

Today I read something online that showed a similar situation. One viewer says young women could only date old men for two reasons: “their big money and short life expectancy”. That resonated well with many, including me, yet a comment from another viewer provided a different perspective of this age issue. He talks about says that age has increasingly become a liability in society. The older you are, the more unattractive you are, regardless of your personal qualities or capabilities. Old people are somehow marginalized to the degree that any notion of their being attractive to a much younger generation is deemed to be laughable. He argues that this is ageist in the same way we have sexism and racism in the world.

This feedback prompted me to think differently about the issue. We take for granted it that the love based on physical attraction is shallow, for we are supposed to value someone for their qualities as a person rather than their faces or makeup. Then why, when it comes to a relationship with age differences, will people start the mocking others simply because their physical appearances don’t match, as well as the questioning of the “real intentions” behind their relationship? Maybe it’s because a large proportion of these unions fall into the category of the 'Sugar Daddy' or 'cougar' type? However, there could still be some exceptions in which money wealth is not at play. If this is the case, it will be our turn to show an understanding mind  be understanding/ show understanding and empathy. 

Comment:

I really, really enjoyed this article! It is well-written with minimal mistakes, and puts forward an interesting and cleverly- crafted perspective. Thank you for this, Min. Keep writing.