The first sentence, "The received news made everybody excited," may be grammatically correct, though it sounds awkward. Or it might be incorrect; I'm not sure. A better way to phrase it would be: "The news they received excited them." Or more simply: "They were excited by the news." The second sentence is not correct unless you change it to: "The news they received made everybody excited."

Make the payment only when the book arrives in Singapore, which is expected at Singapore port on 30/8/2017. -------- Here is the corrected sentence.

Can you help me?

The impact on the readers is an identification effect, because it describes a familiar surrounding and uses single vocabulary.

Although the author describes the artist's trajectory, it is not very exact about his work. The article is relevant because it emphasizes the local sculptor’s work and is orientated to the surroundings of the artist. and is sufficiency about its extension(?) It also exposes some experiences of the personal life of the artists.
The tone is serious and objective. The author uses informative biographical type. although something natural does not present omissions because it is open and flexible.(?) In other words, it should not contain any specific information.

The language is formal and natural, although clear and close to the reader.

The structure a format: The writer introduces the reader to the context through a description of the surroundings of the sculptor's work and a brief presentation of the artist, as well as his mark in the environment of the west of Scotland. It develops the theme of the work and the influence of the sculptor's surrounding, although it does not have a chronological sequence to achieve the proposed objective of exposing the artist's work.

It is a spontaneous text, the extension of the paragraphs is adequate and communicates ideas clearly.
A photo of the work is used that is described at the beginning of the text, it is relevant because it supports the argument.

The author reached the objective of the writing because he could describe the artist's work and the development of the creative process in the personal life and influences of the artist.

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I marked some crossed out areas with (?) because I could not understand what you were trying to say.

Self-help industry

The popular trend of recent years is the special literature and software about self-education.
This industry was founded by Deil Carnegie during the of Great depression.
His book «How to win the friends» which was published in 1946, helps millions of people to change their life.
The generation of Milllenials (people who were born in the early 90-s) are the main clients.
These people believes in the internet and spend their money on self-education.
The self-help industry is worth over 10 billion dollars.

Both are correct and have the same meaning.