Should children obey the rules? - Day 3 IELTS Writing(translation)

This is a translation from Chinese.

(Question)
Some people think that children should obey the rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood.
Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

(Answer)
Generally, children should obey the rules at home and at school. Sometimes, it's probably important for them to follow strict disciplines, but I think it may have a negative effect on their abilities <strike>on</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">in</font> problem-solving.

The main purpose of rules is to let children understand that there are<strike> responses</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">responsibilities</font> they should take for what they do, so as to help them form <strike>a</strike> good behavior at an early age. Unlike adults, children cannot tell in what<font style="background-color: yellow;"> way</font> their behavior could result. By applying rules, they will learn how to be a decent<strike> man</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">person</font>. For instance<strike>s,</strike> kids should learn how to show good manners, how to be polite to others. All <strike>those </strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">this</font> knowledge will play an important role in their adult life. <strike>By contract</strike>, <font style="background-color: yellow;">In constrast, </font>without rules to keep them from talking dirty and bullying, they will not be able to cope with social relationships in adulthood.

However, rules do not always have a good impact on children's growth, especially when there are strict rules that parents force them to follow. Because it may lead to situations like heavy dependence on rules to make decisions and a lack of ability to solve problems by themselves. There are cases that without parents' arrangement<font style="background-color: yellow;">s</font>, strictly ruled kids do not know how to do time management and do not know what to do at work. In this respect, they will less likely<strike> to</strike> be successful in their future career<font style="background-color: yellow;">s</font>.

<strike>And</strike> to follow rules<font style="background-color: yellow;">,</font> harms children's imaginations without which they cannot find varieties of approaches to tackle tough issues. It is because, under rules, they are not encouraged to do as they think and they are afraid of being punished for breaking the rules. Think about that if students are told that there is only one way to solve a math problem, there will be very few students who attempt to solve it in different ways. The problems at work are more complicated than a math problem at school, people without imaginations cannot solve them.

<font style="background-color: yellow;">You did a very good job. The mistakes you made were mostly minor and some spelling errors.</font>

Iguazú Waterfalls, one of the Seven Wonders of Nature

Iguazú Waterfalls, Argentina, was finally consecrated as one of the Seven Wonders of Nature, in an event organized in the Sheraton Hotel Cataratas (Misiones), 15 km from Puerto Iguazú city and with the imposing waterfall as <font style="background-color: yellow;">its</font> background.
Iguazú Waterfalls was chosen as one of the seven natural wonders of the world by <strike>the website</strike> https://new7wonders.com/ in 2011, together with other places such as the Ha Long Bay (Vietnam) and the National Park of Komodo (Indonesia). <strike>As while</strike> the president of the "New 7 Wonders" foundation announced that his goal is to build museums and thematic parks​ in each place.
During 2018 the waterfalls received about 1.400.000 tourists from all over the world. Being one of the main tourist<strike>ic</strike> attractions of Argentina, they have beauty enough to amaze anybody. The National Park of Iguazú constitutes one of the places with more amount falls <strike>of</strike> <font style="background-color: yellow;">in</font> the world: there are about 275 of them inside a forest which houses more than 500 animal species and 2000 types of autochthonal flowers. It's located on the border of the Argentina Province of Misiones and the Brazilian state of Paraná. To get <strike>here</strike> <font style="background-color: yellow;">there</font>, you have to take a flight to Buenos Aires, the capital of Argentina. Then <strike>took</strike> <font style="background-color: yellow;">take</font> another flight to Puerto Iguazú.

<font style="background-color: yellow;">This is very well written!  Excellent work. </font>

"How are you doing?" Is the correct phrase, but if you are talking with your close friends or family it is OK to say "How you doing?" Just don't say "How you doing?" to your boss. It will sound rude.

I don't eat leaves. 

It's a metephor. It doesn't literally mean anything. Are you studying English literature in university? Because all your questions sound like you are asking for answers to your assignments.

A day at Disneyland Paris

Today, I have spent my day at Disneyland Paris with my sister and my 2.5 years old niece. I took the bus to go to the amusement park. I arrived 15 minutes later. I have waited for my sister for a long time and I started to be worried because I noticed there were many tourists queueing to enter the park.

When we arrived, we had to pass <strike>a</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">the</font> first security checkpoint which look<strike>s</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">ed</font> like the ones you can see in the airports. Then, we walked and enjoyed the free area of the park. My niece was very excited. Then, I left my sister and niece in order to buy my entry ticket (84 euros). I should have bought it on <font style="background-color: yellow;">the</font> internet. I <strike>have</strike> queued for 40 minutes or so. My sister bought her ticket on <font style="background-color: yellow;">the</font> internet so it was faster for her to enter. What about my niece? She had a free entance ticket because children under 3 <strike>don't pay the entrance</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">are free</font>.

Once we were in, it was crowded and it was only 11.30 am. We went to the castle of Sleeping Beauty and waited for <strike>a</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">the</font> first parade to come. The parade was composed of famous Disney princesses as well as pirates. My niece left her pram to dance on the pavement. She was really happy. Once the parade was over, we went to an attraction which was <font style="background-color: yellow;">called</font> "flying Dumbos". I let my sister and niece participate while I<strike> was keeping</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">kept</font> their bags. They <strike>have</strike> <font style="background-color: yellow;">had </font>queued for 40 minutes for an attraction which lasted 3 or 4 minutes. Then, we went to the "Small worlds" attraction. We didn't queue <strike>a lot</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">long</font>. Once you're there, you sit on a boat and then you can see many miniature dolls which represent different countries. There is also a song alongside the visit. We all enjoyed it. Then, we went to Alice's Wonderland Labyrinth and we went into Alice's castle. That was fun<strike>ny</strike>. We also played hide and seek in the labyrinth. My niece got scared when she met the Queen of Heart in the maze.

We had lunch on a bench. We decided to visit the castle of the Beauty and the Beast. The decoration inside <strike>is</strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">was</font> amazing with beautiful stained-glass windows<strike> or </strike><font style="background-color: yellow;">and</font>carpets. Then, we made a tour by train. We finished our day by admiring a parade with princesses, Aladdin, Buzz, turtles, and a dragon. We did some shopping and my niece fell asleep in her pram. It was a long day full of adventures for her.

We had fun and enjoyed our day. The weather was sunny with a <strike>blue clear</strike> <font style="background-color: yellow;">clear, blue</font> sky. We all came back home exhausted though !

<font style="background-color: yellow;">Very good job!  You only had minor mistakes. :)</font>