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IELTS Writing Part1 (2)
Hello there!
みなさんこんばんは！
Thank you for your comment on my previous notebook.
前回のノートブックで、コメントありがとう。
It helps me a lot.
とても助かりました。
I'm happy if you can help me again.
また、手伝ってもらえるととても嬉しいです。
In return I'd love to help your Japanese after my computer is fixed.
パソコンを修理し終えたら、お礼に日本語のお手伝いをします。
ANOTHER WRITING TASK1
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The graph illustrates the four types of modern technologies (CD player, Mobile phone, Home computer and Internet access) people use in home in the UK from 1996 to 2002. Units are measured in percentage.The graph illustrates the four types of modern technologies (CD player, Mobile phone, home computer, and Internet access) people use at home in the UK from 1996 to 2002. Units are measured in percentage.
Overall, the most people accessed the CD player over the period while the Internet access was the least popular. There was a increase with all the elements at the end.Overall, the CD player was the most accessed while the Internet was least accessed by UK home users. There was an increase in all modern technology usage by the end of the graph.
(Note: Try using what year the CD player was most accessed and what year the Internet was least accessed. It will add more information and meaning to your sentence and overall paragraph.)
As regards to amount of people who used CD player, it began at almost 80% in 1996 and reached the peak of over 80% in the last year. Likewise, the Mobile phone went up. It appeared from 1998, starting at approximately 10%, and it rose significantly to nearly 50% in 2003.In regards to the amount of people who used CD players in 1996, it started at around 80% and reached its peak of over 80% in the last year. Likewise, the Mobile phone increased in its percentage. In 1998 it started at 10% and rose significatnly to almost 50% in 2003.
In terms of both the Home computer and the Mobile phone, more people access to the Home computer in 1996, but the popularity was replaced by the Mobile phone during 1998 and 2000. The former started at about 50% in the first year and increased steadily at low of 60%, whereas the latter rose considerably from under 20% to around 70%.In terms of both the home computer and the Mobile phone, more people accessed the home computer in 1996, but its popularity was replaced by the Moblie phone during 1998 and 2000. The former started at about 50% in the first year and steadily increased at a low of 60%, whereas the latter rose considerably from 20% to around 70%.
A note on the last paragraph: "steadily increased" sounds more formal than "increased steadily" and it sounds more natural when speaking out loud. Overall, you did a good job! Next time, try reading your sentences out loud after you write them. Even native English speakers like myself do this if we think a sentence looks funny after we write it. If you think it sounds unnatural, try rearranging or rewriting the sentence until it sounds and looks right. Also, I'm not sure about capitalizing "Home" in "home computer." I haven't seen this done before but if whatever material you're using says to capitalize the "H" then go ahead and do it. Hopefully this helped you out!
0 votedJanuary 8, 20160Writing for IELTS task 1
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
あけましておめでとうございます。
I'm working on IELTS writing task1, and I need your help to correct my sentences.
私は今、IELTSのライディングに取り組んでいて、文章チェックのためにあなたの助けが必要です。
Task1 (half of it)
The graph illustrated the amount of goods which were transported in UK by four measures (road, water, rail and pipeline) from 1974 to 2002. Units are measured in million tonnes.The graph illustrates the amount of goods that were transported in the UK by four different kinds of transportation such as roads, water, rail, and pipeline from 1974 to 2002. Units are measured by one million tons.
Overall, the amount of goods transported by road, water and pipeline ended the period up compared to it in1974 to in 2002 whereas by rail, it was almost the same.
Overall, the amount of goods transported by road, water, and pipeline ended up increasing from 1974 to 2002 whereas by rail, it was almost the same.
Question
I want to paraphrase "the amount of goods tra ported". Do you have any good suggestions?You can use "the merchandise transported" or "the amount of goods transported" "the number of goods transported" things like that. When using the word "goods" for any product (merchandise) it can be used in a number of ways. If you want to sound more professional use the words "product(s)" or "merchandise." "Goods" is sort of like an informal way of speaking. Also, in the last sentence I corrected, I used an extra comma when I separated "road, water, and pipeline." This is another annoying thing in English. The way you used commas are correct and the way I used them are correct. I can't remember what it's called, but there is some book out there that is the official way to use commas and both of these ways have been called correct. However, since I'm seeing more professionals use commas in the way that you used them, I would suggest you stick to that way. The way I use commas is how I learned when I first started writing English as a kid. I hope this was helpful and not too much information!
0 votedJanuary 8, 20160One of the best monitors. Or (I have one of the best monitors.) (Unless you really did mean monster lol)
I usually sit at a monitor. I'm not alone because I have my friends. We all like this building because the moniter is a nice place to meet each other. I'm now sitting in front of a monitor. All of us talking with each other has been fun but I don't know how to describe our feelings. We had a lot of fun talking with each other.
I'm not entirely sure what you meant in the third sentence. A better example, if you're talking about a building, would be: We all like this building because it's a nice place to meet each other.
To make this entry better, try explaining 'why' you are doing something. Why are you sitting behind a monitor? Do your friends have to do this too? What building are you going to? Maybe explain why you had fun as well as other descriptive things that will give your English more depth and meaning behind it. Good job so far!
0 votedJanuary 7, 20161- Words and Phrases I know in Japanese Watashi wa Rebeka desu. Hajimimaste. Ohiyogosimus. Arigato. Kon'nichiwa. Sayorana. Konbanwa. I'm not sure on some of the spelling but these are a few of the choice phrases I know in Japanese. I'm hoping to become fluent in the basics in order to hold some form of conversation. Right now I only know the hiragana for a, i, u, e, o, ka, ki, ku, ke, ko, sa, shi, su, se, so, ta, chi, tsu, te, to. I would appreciate any advice and help in learning Japanese! Thank you!January 7, 201640
