Are you happy It's so strange that I have been down for weeks . I tried to read books , listen to music and draw pictures to relax myself , but I still feel down . I don't like this feeling at all . I could feel happy and relaxed when I was drawing something , but now there is only anxiety left . When I felt sort of better , my father's passive words with anger broke my peace . He didn't know what he were doing is really bad to him . Nothing could be changed with complains . Attitude can't decide everything but influence how you feel . I do need to change my way to think and get out of sadness as soon as possible . It's a pity that my friends couldn't spend time with me . They told me they can pay a visit here before . But both of them can't come here for reasons . I was informed the bad news in one week . Everyone has their difficulties in life , I should be more strong . It seems like I'm swimming in a deep and blue sea .

Some Good Memory of Music Festivel In Apl 2014 , It was my first time to go music festival -----MIDI Music Festivel . It was a great experience that people with the same hobby got together to sing and dance . I love such wonderful and joyful activity to expend my energy and release myself from stressful work . There were so many untold feelings when I spent time here . I laughed and cried without thinking any complicated things , just did what I want . I'm thinking about what the rock music means to me , Whether I like it . Maybe I just like the feeling rock brings to me . Rock is not only a kind of music but also a special spirit which can lead me to go trough difficult to be a brave one . That's the courage inspire me to struggle against the plaint life . The atmosphere in the MIDI Music Festival was so exciting and meaningful. That's the reason why I like it .

Do you like lavender ? I used lavener oil to cure zit on my face when I was a freshman in the college . It did a good job and left me a good impression. So I bought the lavender immediately when I saw it in the flowers shop . Then , I began to search information about lavender caring . She grew up with little cute purple flowers as time passsed by . I liked her for not only her charming fragrance but also her silence in growing up . You can't see many tiny difference in everyday , but you can realise her change after some days . All of these pleased me once I saw the changes . It was a pity that she died for dry when I had been busy with finnal exam . I ignored to water her so that she pass away in a pretty pain way . She stood there without activity and live veranda . I was so lazy to deal with her body and left her alone in the veranda until I graduated . I had to clean the veranda before I left school . I stared at her for a while and then dug her body up . I thought everything was down when I finished digging . However , the fragrance of the lavender emitted full of the air . What stoned me was the soil recked of scent . Though she was died , though she had died for a long time , the soil she where grew up had her fragrance , reminded me of the memory I took care of her and her silent living . I was so surprised and moved when I smell the scent from the withered herb plant . It was amazing and magical moment that I never forget . Today , I wrote this for memory the lavender and tell myself to be a person like her . Keep doing the things what I should do in the rest of life and never forget the things what I insist in till the end of life .

Dream I hope I can have a dream and struggle for it . What's your dream ? I always asked people such quetions when I was a young child . Now , I seldom ask people these questions and also be afraid of being asked the same quetion . I can't answer the question because I lose it . It must be funny , you won't lost your dream if it's your real dream in your heart . The real dream is the most important thing that you never give it up . I gave it up like a shame coward . Maybe it's just a hobby not a dream . I'm not sure whether it's my dream , but I want to treasure it as a dream . Can I pick it up and insist it whatever I could make it ? I watched a short video about dream this morning , that's what make me want to think about my life and dream . I have to face the problems , I'feel guilty that I don't insist my dream and plead abandon in excuse of lazy . I want to change it . I'm not good enough and always be afraid of failure . To be braver , there is nobody tells you how to do , everyone has its life ; don't expect the others to tell you where you should go , it's none of their businese . Though I hope there be someone who can work with me together , it's impossible that everyone has their work to do , I shoudn't bother them . Well , I need to be more conscientious and inspire myself everyday . Wake up early and go to bed early to form a good habit . read more , learn more , think more . I really hope I can be a better one . If I give it up again , I hope one of you could stand out and point at me , say :　hey , you guy , don't you remember your dream ? Cheer up ! The duty of youth is to chanllege corruption . ------Kurt Cobain.