今天早上十点爸爸和朋友聊天儿的时候，爸爸突然晕倒了

今天早上十点和朋友聊天儿的时候，爸爸突然晕倒了。
(Whose)朋友叫了救护车。
医院给我打电话，“你爸爸被抬进医院了”。
我担心他，所以早上十一点半到了医院。
医生说 ：“你爸爸患了(脑梗梗塞)(is that a kind of disaster?脑梗 doesn't equal to 脑,anyway.)，身体右边都麻痹了，走动不了。他语音（说话）含糊，我听不清楚。”
爸爸(Who is 他? the doctor or your father?)现在重症监护病房。
他要住院四个月。（爸爸家离我有点儿远。）？
我不知道爸爸的钱包、身份证和保险单在哪里。
哦哦每天想去医院看他。
我的运气不好。为什么我遇到了那么坏的事情。

Trying to avoid using “了” may strenthen the fluency of your words.

I strongly recommend you to make use of "，" , rather than starting a new sentence. Too many individual sentences make the whole text messed up.

In my own view 语音 is a little too formal there. But if you don't change this word, it's okay.

有 can't be combined with 事情 there. When  you say that someone 有事情, it's more likely to mean that something happend DIRECTLY on that guy, or you can use it to ask if someone has something that he or she may ask you to do.

Anyway, there's not as many words like 哦 啊 噢 喔 哇 used in Chinese as in English.When you put so many of them in your words, it seems strange. ……mmm, it's like continuously  uttering that many meaningless syllables when speaking. Strage, really.

Well, it's kinda nervous for that's my first "Correction" on italki. And in consideration that I'm just a senior student my English might be not  fluent enough and doesn't convey all my ideas. Anyway, my Chinese is not bad , i pounder.

Sorry to hear your unfortunate experience.

并且，极其地不好意思，因为是第一次修改作文，我甚至不知道有色标这个玩意……(T_T)

对照原文凑合看吧……