Forth Toefl essay ( I will take toefl on saturday)

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

When I was a teenager, I had the experience of have having a part-time job, which was very good to me. Moreover, I had saw  have seen some of my friends spend their free time with non-productive things. I think that have having a job while a teenager still is still a student can be a nice idea for the reasons that I will explain in the following essay.
Firstly, I think that work as a teenager student is great to grown in a more focused way. I worked two years in a law office while I still was still in High School. This experience was very important to me because I had to become a more responsible person. In addition, the learnings that I had things I learnt were so interesting that I choice chose to get a degree in Law. The responsibility that I got in at such a so young age was so significant for the reason that I started to see the life in a very more mature way and so, I begin began to be a more hard-working person to achieve my goals. I know that I would not have passed with honours on my university without have having learnt to be more focused and responsible thanks to my job.
Secondly, teenagers used to do some non-productive things and to have a work can to guide them to have a more productive time. Before I had had my job, I used to spend a lot of time playing silly games on the internet, which had not taught me anything. Afterwards, the legislation of my country imposed some conditions to allow the teenagers to work, like have having the right of a limited work hours for do not so as not to harm my school time, for example. Therefore, I had worked in comfortable conditions and nobody is forced to work as a teen, so it is an option that does not prejudice anyone.
In conclusion, I think that allowing the teenagers student work is a very nice idea because possibility that a teen can have a change to developing in a more mature and responsible way. Furthermore, a part-time job allows that the a teenagers can to use his their free-time in a more productive way.