Next weeks

In the next weeks I'll work hard. It is the final end of my/the course. I have a lot of job work to complete, and then the final exams. If all goes good well, the next year will be my last year at university. of the career. I'm happy because, when I finish, I'll try to find work.If I can't make it in my country, I'll go to another country. Hence, I need to improve my English. :)

i'll happy to discuss these changes with you sometime by Skype, if you like. I would like to have an intercambio with you. (Pardon my Ana Botella moment). My Skypename is abogadosnuevomexicanos. I will be on line saturday 17 May, around 10AM USA Mountain (Albuquerque) time. Hope to speak with you. If there is some material that would be most useful to you, perhaps you can email me it.

A short story about an unkown man, 1st chapter (HELP me with my grammar and spelling, PLEASE)

Charlie was, as always, heading home. He was determined to change his life this time. He promised himself that this would be the last time waking up in an disgusting alley, surrounded by trash, rats and stray dogs looking for the leftovers of a cheap restaurant. Hencehold, he should put himself togheter and start thinking as the father he just became.

He was now strolling across a broad avenue, one of the main roads that fed the decadent city, once full of life and joy. He thought about it. "Once, this street was well-paved, crowded, warm and busy, like a main blood vessel carrying oxigen to the cells", he thought. "Now I can't even walk over it because of the potholes and puddles".

He continued wandering, thinking about the last diagnosis he had made just a month ago. He had saved that kid in the last moment, but he hadn't been able to save his mother. He was inmersed in his memories, the ones that were leading him into a dark and painful life. But he quickly realised something. The atmosphere whas different this time in the street. Something weird was going on, but Chalie couldn't guess what was happening. The air was carrying an odd scent, which remembered him to the roast chicken that his mother would cook in his chidlhood. Suddenly, he realised that there isn't anybody in the street. Traffic lights were still working, but there were no cars abiding their luminous orders. He frowned, but he had no time to think.
He heard a humongous noise at the end of the street. An entire building gave way before he could move. The dust, expanding everywhere, filled the air while Charly was looking for a shelter. He found an entrance hall, big enough to keep him safe. He tried to open the door but it was locked, so he broke the glass and unlocked it. He started running along the main aisle and turned left.

Something hit him. He floped, and before he pass away, he saw a blurry shoe and heard "we got him!".

To be continued...

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As usual (1), Charlie was heading home. He was determined to change his life this time. He promised himself that this would be the last time he woke in a disgusting alley, surrounded by trash, rats and stray dogs looking for the leftovers of a cheap restaurant. Starting today he would get it together and start acting like an adult, like the father he had just become. 

He strolled (2) across a broad avenue, one of the main roads that fed the decadent city, once full of life and joy.(3) He thought  about it, "Once, this street was well-paved, crowded, warm and busy, like a main blood vessel carrying oxygen to the cells", he thought. "Now I can't even walk over it because of the potholes and puddles".

He continued wandering, thinking about the last diagnosis he had made just a month ago. He had saved that kid in the last moment, but he hadn't been able to save his mother. He was inmersed in his memories, the ones that were leading him into a dark and painful life. But he quickly realised something. The atmosphere whas different this time in the street.

Something weird was going on, but Chalie couldn't guess what was happening. The air was carrying an odd scent, which remembered him to reminded him of the roast chicken that his mother would cook in his chidlhood. Suddenly, he realised that there isn't wasn't anybody in the street. Traffic lights were still working, but there were no cars abiding their luminous orders. He frowned, but he had no time to think.

He heard a humongous noise at the end of the street. An entire building gave way before he could move. The dust, expanding billowing everywhere, filled the air while Charly was looking looked for a shelter.

He found an entrance hall, big enough to keep him safe. He tried to open the door but it was locked, so he broke the glass and unlocked it. He started running along the main aisle hallway and turned left.

Something hit him. He floped huh? fell, and before he pass away, passed out,  he saw a blurry shoe and heard "we got him!".

_________________

(1) Your grammar and spelling are good, but you have chosen the wrong word.  Charlie cannot always be heading home: is someone moving his house, so that he never arrives and is always heading home ? I think you mean to tell your reader that waking in an ally is something that happens regularly to Charlie. 

(2)  Stroll is a great verb, and I am impressed that you know it.  But does it really fit ?  Did Charlie <em>stroll</em> after he woke from a drunken stupor in an alley ?  Might not Charlie <em>stumble</em>, <em>crawl</em>, <em>drag, limp, shuffle</em> ... or any other verb that connotes difficulty.  Alternatively, might Charlie <em>march</em> -- connoting his new resolve to live right ? 

(3)  This is called a dangling participle.  It's not good, but common to MANY English writers. Do you mean the decadent city, the road, or Charlie himself was once full of life and joy. It's plain that you can write, so think about it. Many ways to fix this. 

(4)  This metaphor/simile has me lost, but grammatically, it's correct. I understand that you want to show Charlie is a physician, because he thinks about things in anatomical terms... but....  Gotta say though, ten points for ambitious writing.   

(5)   You write well, and your grammar is generally very good . The issue you seem to have is picking the right word, which is a very, very advanced skill.  Congrats. 

Mini saga: The lie

I’ve been attending punctually his work every day for fifty years. “Work becomes me on better person”, he used to think and learn in his holy book. He was about to retire, consequently, his beautiful goodness had been increasing abundantly so far, the company would need other executioner very soon.

He always arrived to work on time. Every day, for fifty years. *

"Work makes me a better person," he thought to himself, as he studied his Holy Book.

Now, he was about to retire. His Holy Book was worn from years of quiet counsel. His beautiful goodness had increased abundantly over the decades. He was satisfied with himself, with his work, and with his contributions to the world.

His employer would soon have to find a new executioner.

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* Yes, I know this isn't a proper sentence, but what you have written seems literary (Paolo Coelo meets Flannery O'Connor ?), and I think this terse phrase fits, as it emphasizes the man's dedication, in a sort of beatific tone.  Then, the last sentence can really surprise the reader.