Corrections · 4
Mini saga: The lie
I’ve been attending punctually his work every day for fifty years. “Work becomes me on better person”, he used to think and learn in his holy book. He was about to retire, consequently, his beautiful goodness had been increasing abundantly so far, the company would need other executioner very soon.
He always arrived to work on time. Every day, for fifty years. *
"Work makes me a better person," he thought to himself, as he studied his Holy Book.
Now, he was about to retire. His Holy Book was worn from years of quiet counsel. His beautiful goodness had increased abundantly over the decades. He was satisfied with himself, with his work, and with his contributions to the world.
His employer would soon have to find a new executioner.
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* Yes, I know this isn't a proper sentence, but what you have written seems literary (Paolo Coelo meets Flannery O'Connor ?), and I think this terse phrase fits, as it emphasizes the man's dedication, in a sort of beatific tone. Then, the last sentence can really surprise the reader.
He had been arriving on-time to work every day for fifty years. "Work makes me a better person," he thought to himself, as he studied his Holy Book. He was about to retire, satisfied in his beautiful contributions to the world. Unfortunately, the prison that he works for will need to hire another executioner.
Carlos, I love it. I hope that the edits that were made properly reflect the meaning of your narrative.
-- Dan
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