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Part 2
Modern technology can be very helpful in order to maintain [->for maintaining] such relationships as it provides great means to connect people. Nowadays, people can see and hear each other even if they are at [->in] different parts of the world. It is very easy to speak to loved ones and to share ideas and thoughts with them. Also with the development of transportation it is not hard to meet friends and family even being separated by many kilometers. So, despite the fact these/such people are divided by great distances it does not mean that they cannot be close to each other.
To conclude, in the modern world many people are faced with the/a situation where ['where' indicates an explanation] they have to live separately from their spouses. These distant relationships can have a very negative effect, however with the help of modern technology people can avoid this and still be close to each other in spite of great distances dividing them. People should understand that the only thing that is really important is the affection between them and not how far they are from each other.* They can also be looked at positively as giving people a chance when on their own to remember their own individual talents which they might have forgotten about if always together. But best kept in moderation. In the past fishing could take people away for long periods. In one of the Iceland sagas the husband sets off on his boat and says he'll be back in, I recall, 5 years!
David
0 votedSeptember 16, 20181PART 1
Essay #230 "Long-Distance Relationships" 04.09.18
In our fast-paced world people have become more oriented on their career and sometimes this overlaps with [->encroaches on] their personal lives. Because of this, many people, nowadays, are forced to live separately from their spouses ['with' would mean they came along with you]. It is very hard to maintain healthy relationships in this situation, but in my opinion it is possible and modern technology creates many opportunities for this.
In most cases this situation emerges because of people trying to build a successful career, which often requires business travels and sometimes they may take quite a long time. It should not be deemed as something too negative or selfish as everyone dreams about succeeding in their work ['too' shows it is a bit, but not too much]. So their partners should understand this desire and put every effort in [<-a phrase] in order to provide support. Apart from work ['except' expects something with the opposite quality] there are many other causes for why people are sometimes divided by great distances - it can also be some family or personal issues. However, in all of them people should be understanding and supportive of each other.0 votedSeptember 16, 20180PART 2
To solve this problem, people should be educated about their health, so they would know that their weight and body constitution is individual to them ['them' matches 'their' weight]. It cannot [->should not] be altered to fit one particular model, in order to meet all fashion demands. Also, as weight and body fat plays a great role in the functioning of the body, people should take its alteration very seriously [or plural: 'play... take their...']. If they want to lose or gain some weight, they should consult real doctors and not fashion magazines. Wrong and thoughtless dieting [or 'a wrong... diet...'] can create very serious problems with [->for the] health.
To conclude, fashion has a very influential effect on our lives and affects people’s lifestyles, sometimes to an extreme degree. The main problem is that sometimes fashion requirements can contradict common sense and moreover can even violate people’s health. Thus, people should make their decisions, especially those which involve their well-being, based not on advice [plural not used; 'advise' is a verb] from fashion magazines, but on opinions of professionals.0 votedSeptember 12, 20181PART 1
Essay #218 "Weight Control" 23.08.18
Fashion is a very powerful thing which can make people change their lives drastically. In recent decades many people have become so afraid to gain weight that they have [to match 'have become'] starved themselves to the point where [->'that'] they get serious problems with their health; anorexia is quite a graphic example. In my opinion, people should pay more attention to their health and take dieting quite seriously.
One of the main reasons why it happens, is the fact that fashion has a great influence on people, especially young ones [->the young]. It makes them believe that if they look a certain way, it will help them to be successful in their lives. Thus, many young people try to change their appearance and lose weight, sometimes to an extreme degree. All this not only distorts the image of plain human beauty, but also the image of the person overall. So, people should understand that fashion magazines are not manuals on how to live life, and they should not follow them over their common sense.0 votedSeptember 12, 20180PART 2
To solve, or at least to lessen/mitigate, this problem, people should get together and put all their effort into this. The first steps should be made by governments, they have to revise the laws and policies which are controlling the amount of emissions and permitted levels of contamination and make these laws stricter. This, on its own, already will have a great effect on the overall situation. Additional steps should be done by every one of us, people just have to become more environmentally conscious and have to stop damaging our planet. Even the smallest things, such as litter separation, will have a great positive effect and [usually/often] do ['smallest things' is plural] not require too much effort at the same time.
To conclude, environmental pollution is one of the most serious problems of the modern era, which can have a disastrous effect on all humanity. Therefore, people should face this fact and get together in order to solve this issue, as its resolution requires the participation of every one of us. Only by doing so, will we [reverse after this type of 'only'] be able not only to revive our planet and make its air and water clean again, but also pass [this matches the form of 'to revive', with 'to' [pass] implied] it on to the next generations in all its beauty.
* Good. The biggest threat I'd suggest is climate change:- the last 10,000 years have had a stable climate which has allowed farming (you can't farm if you can't predict the weather!) and farming has then allowed 'civilisation' to happen. If we make the climate unstable/unpredictable (such as was before 10,000 years ago), we will lose the ability to farm, and without farming will not be able to feed many people at all - and there are other great effects. Other issues are world population - we need to have 100 million (ideal) to 1 billion people (max) - and the need to eat rather less meat, which causes huge problems. Ultimately humans need to be trained in discipline, self-sacrifice and cooperativeness. A properly-functioning World Parliament will be needed.David
0 votedAugust 26, 20181PART 1
Over recent decades the quality of air, water and soil has ['has' because its effect reaches to the present] decreased drastically and human activities have played the major role in this [would be better just to say 'have caused this' since there are no doubts regarding their quality]. Our technological progress, despite its positive effect on our living standards, has ['progress' is singular] created many environmental problems. Thus, people should understand the [great] seriousness of this issue and work together in order to solve it, or at least make the situation less severe.
One of the main causes of this problem is the development of manufacturing, with its high-paced progress; people have started to exploit nature in a very unthoughtful manner. All this has had a disastrous effect on the biosphere [no need for 'earth', that is implied!], which jeopardizes ['effect' is singlular; if you had used 'and jeopardises' then it would refer to 'all this'] all its life. Another point that has contributed greatly to this situation is the development of the internal combustion engine [this is a phrase]. This has allowed people to have their own personal environmental contaminator. As almost every one on the planet has a car, the effect which they have in a year may overshadow even major ecological catastrophes of the last decades.0 votedAugust 26, 20180PART 2
Another thing which can create some tension in relations between family members is an age gap. As a family is comprised of [or: comprises] people of several generations, sometimes they find it hard to get along with each other, thus sometimes they just physically cannot play the role of friends. At the same time, it is rare for people to make friends with people where/when there is a significant age difference, almost always people make friends with someone of their own age. ['befriended' often suggests a weak person befriended by a stronger]
To conclude, family and friends are the closest people who can support and help overcome certain hardships in life. Thus, it is just impossible to choose one of them over the other, as they play different roles in everyone’s lives. We should try to pay attention to both of them, only by doing so will we [reversed after this type of 'only'] be able to maintain a healthy and affectionate atmosphere in a family and build great long-lasting relations with our friends.* Good. I always tell people that if you are in hospital and need money for an operation, your friends will generally not come up with much, but your parents will sell their house to get you the operation you need.
David0 votedAugust 23, 20181PART 1
Essay #203 "Family of Friends" 08.08.18
Everyone during their lives acquires a group of people who [most people don't use 'whom'] they can call friends, sometimes this group is significant in number, sometimes it is just a few people. However, as everyone needs attention, people are often faced with the situation where they have to decide which is more important for them, their friends or their family. Despite this being quite a hard question, I will try to present some thoughts on this topic below. [you 'give some thought' to something in your head but offer 'thoughts' externally to others]
In spite of the fact that family members are playing a great role in everyone’s lives they are [see your following 'they'!] hardly a substitute for friends as they play [play a part is a term from the theatre] an absolutely different part. Therefore, we just have no right to try to compare them and try to decide who ['which' if you are meaning the two groups rather than the individual members] are more important. But anyway, family members cannot replace friends, even if there is a great family relationship ['is' is singular] and atmosphere within [more natural than 'inside']
Often family members have enitrely [generally avoid repeating 'absolutely'!] different interests and sometimes it can create quite an intense atmosphere inside a family, as people just cannot understand each other, whereas friends often share the same interests and can offer mutual affection and ideas, which greatly improve their relations. However, this does not mean that family members are less important, only because they often do not share the same interests, it just points out the difference between them. ['it' is ambiguous - it could refer to 1. not sharing the same interests, or 2. the 'this' in 'this does not mean'; --> fix eg: '...important, but their not sharing the same interests highlights the differences between them'.]0 votedAugust 23, 20180Essay 216 "Governmental Health Care" 21.08.18
Technological and economical progress in many countries over recent decades has allowed those countries to become more socially-oriented. Thus, many of them have made medical health care available to the greater part of their citizens [usually all of them?]. However, not everyone is happy about it, because cheap health care loses in quality [=is of lower/lesser quality] and many people believe that there is a better way to spend allocated/budgetted money.
Despite the fact that the government physically cannot provide people with the most cutting-edge medical treatments and drugs, as their services are much cheaper, it makes them available to the greater number of people. Not everyone can afford private doctors and expensive drugs so this system, actually, solves many problems. However, it leaves the choice to people, so every one can decide for themselves which to opt for.
Also, state of heath is one of the most important factors which influences the overall quality of life, thus the government has to ensure that people will get medical care at least at a basic level. It drastically changes living standards and makes it possible for people to live longer and more active lives. At the same time developments in medicine makes this basic level higher every year, which improves our lives further. [It also pays for itself - ill people aren't being productive, and often make others ill]
Another reason why the government should not leave the pharmaceutical sphere to private organizations only, is the fact that the government can influence prices on the market. It can maintain a decent level of pricing and ensure that private companies do not increase them in order to make excessive profits. Thus, governmental involvement makes this sphere fairer and drugs more affordable.
To conclude, in recent decades many countries have become more socially-oriented and have provided people with a cheap governmental health care system. In spite of the fact that this system does not provide the most cutting-edge technologies, it ensures the basic level of medical treatment. Thus, people should understand fully the [or: the great] importance of governmental involvement in this sphere, which makes basic medical care available for everyone.* Well-written, and an important subject. The state is there to serve the peole's genuine needs.
* In British English we would say 'orientated' in place of 'oriented'.
David (Edinburgh)
0 votedAugust 22, 20180Could you correct my mistakes please? Thank you in advance!
This video is about how important grit and perseverance are in processes of work [meaning??]. Someone could be more talented than another but not be persistent in achieving goals. Talented people sometimes do things just as they can, without exceeding their abilities; but a person who isn't talented enough could be more persistent in overcoming themself, not having a background conducive to talent unlike many of those who show great talent from an early age.* Mostly readible, a few moments where I had to stop to think about your meaning
* Remember semicolons ( ; ) when you are thinking of starting a sentence with 'but' or 'and'
* I made the people neuter to avoid any sense of 'him' being male
David (Edinburgh)
0 votedAugust 22, 20181
