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Hi Katrina,
This is a paragraph from a model answer provided by a company that offers IELTS essay correction services. This one is much more formal compared to most of other model answers written by IELTS examiners I read. So I am wondering if this is a common writing style in the English world. Most of the time I read technical documentation and blogs which are not so formal.
<em>Personally I find it a bit difficult to understand. I would like to know if this is the style native English speakers would prefer as academic writing, thanks.</em> <em>Here's the paragraph:</em>
Suffice to note, medical services are at times expensive to run and even though a company might be big, its financial muscle might not be in position to cater for all requirements. Governments have different sources of revenue and can cater for the most expensive medication or research of any given disease. Profit organizations will not get into a venture that is years from yielding. They do not make research and thus innovation and new medicines will not avail.
儿子上中学了
今天我大儿子开始上中学了。我还不敢相信这么特别的一天已经到了。时间飞过得太快了。他也长大得太快了。感觉好像只是昨天我还在给他换尿布似的。但今天我已经送他去上中学了。这怎么可能呢？（不知道我这些话翻译得对不对。我想说的是How can this be？）我猜我现在不能叫他我的宝贝了。中学，他真的上中学了。是他长大了还是我变老了？小学和中学的日常常规规则很不同。 真的希望他第一天上中学过得很好，也希望他不要太害怕，虽然我知道我很害怕。现在还不到了午餐时间， 但我在家焦急地等待他回家。今天过得太慢了。我的心情忐忑不安。他是我的宝贝。我不要他上中学！不要他长大！儿子快点儿回家吧！妈妈在这里等待你！我觉得今天我的汉语说得不好。对不起，我有点分心。我确信其他的父母能了解我的感觉。对吗？
你的中文很好，唯一的问题是有些地方要加上语气助词"了"，这样会自然一点。
A self-correction according to Katrina's advice.
Some people think that young people should follow traditions from their society; other people think that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views on whether the younger generation should follow traditions or they should be given the freedom to behave as individuals. Personally I believe this is not an either-or situation. While good traditions should be passed on and young people should respect these traditions, I believe they should also be allowed to behave as themselves.
On the one hand, many traditions are worth following. There are many kinds of traditions, from national traditions ones such as celebrating the Spring Festival and the Moon Festival in China, to family traditions or even school traditions. Traditions are often linked to delicious food, arts, bright clothing, family reunion, happiness, cultural heritage, cultural identity, and so forth. They are what make one nation, one family, or one group of people distinct from the other. It is important for young people to follow these traditions so as to make sense of their cultural identity, remember where they are from and have a sense of belonging.
On the other hand, I also believe that young people should be allowed to behave as themselves and be different. Young people are at their most energetic and creative age, and they are in the process of finding out who they are. Therefore, instead of being asked to watch their every step and follow the code of traditions, they should be encouraged to express themselves freely, choose their own paths, visit different parts of the world and learn new things. In this way, young people can explore and develop their true potential. In fact, many innovations take place because some young people are not satisfied by simply following traditions.
In conclusion, I believe that many traditions should be kept and followed, but at the same time, young people should have the right to behave as themselves while they are still searching for their own personal identity.
