I'll Try to Grow Up

I never thought you would really leave me one day, but when i wake (woke) up this morning, i realized that you have really (really have) disappeared from my world just like what you had told me (you could also perhaps say "just like you warned me").

Because of my childish (childish behaviour, attitude etc. you need an adj here), your life became full of mess (a mess), and your good temper (don't say good temper, instead you could say "good mood" or "patient attitude") have all used up finally (has been used up finally). I truely know we are finish (finished) as anything but I’ve never regreted to have (having) you in my life. If the afterlife really exists in this world, I’ll choose ("i hope" would be better) to meet you again. 

You always told me I'm no longer a child, and I should do grown up stuff and act like one, but i can only act like a spoiled child in front of you. I thought you like me when you said you are going to spank me, but now I know that i'm wrong.

Just like what you told me, "Life is a journey, we should make the best of it and learn as much as we can". I think I'd better to set off now, in order to make my journey more meaningful. I always think life is so long, so i wasted so much time chasing shadows and loitering around. As I looked back, I found out my life is just like a blank sheet of paper. I used to think now is good, but you taught me there is more to life than living in the present. Maybe you are right, I need to try to be stronger and more brave like a grown up, not a spoiled child. I need to pay more attention on (to) my study and fulfill my life.

I am still puzzled what does it mean (at what it means to) be happy. I'm the kind of person who is lack of (lacks) gumption, I know you hate that. In your eyes, ambition is what can give you happiness and that's the fact, but I argued that happiness is to be satisfied with what you have. You told me, if I never do anything to improve my situation, it won't magically turn out the way I want it to. You told me to give up, but there is no way, there is no surrender. Just wait, I'll try to make something of myself.

I'm no longer a child, now is the time for me to grow up!

My nose was bleeding.

Yesterday I wrote a notebook entry but I selected the wrong type. So maybe you hadn't see my stomach. At the end of it, I had hoped to have a good dream but terrible things happened. My nose was bleeding at 2:00 am, like a volcano, my sleeping clothes and my boyfriend's pillow were spotted by blood. After the bleeding stopped i lied on the bed and could't fall asleep. Beijing is so hot and dry. The season is not good for me without medicine. I would go to the hospital, but it's hard to enroll it.

What i study at college

I'm a university student who is in my 4th year of studying. have spent 4 years' time there. I learnt a lot at university not only about my major also about life. It's really good to have someone to share my happiness and sorrow with. But the fact is i am near graduation i already graduate and all my friends will pursue their goals after we finish graduation. This makes me sad. is sad.