Tenses I think in learning languages the most interesting (and difficult at the same time) thing are tenses. You can learn a lot words and phrases, you can understand the logic of your target language, but there is the difference between people of different countres: they feel and perceive time in different ways. That always confuses me a lot. It is no use to try to translate tenses from your native language to target. I can speak about it as Russian, who tries to realise English tenses. If I try to translate Russian's tenses (for example telling about past event) it would be only Past Simple. When English-speaking people use Present Perfect, Russians use Past Simple, it is usual past event for us. I always think what tense I have to use, but in real lif it is really difficult, so I have a lot of mistakes. I really want to understant how English-speaking people perceive time. But it is extremely complicated to think in other way.

New Year Presents I haven't been writing here in a while. I have to fix it. I have been really busy these days. But now it's Christmas and New Year's time, so people think about presents and celebrating. I am thinking too. In Russia Christmas isn't a big event, usually we have a big New Year celebration. Now I am thinking about presents for my friends, and I am not sure beause things, which my friend want to get, have to be ordered very early (because of time shipping), but I'm affraid that they will buy them by themselves... So it's really hard to choose something. But I want to give them want they want and what will make them happier. I like to give gifts, but choosing is exhausting.

About time I think I haven't been writing here for a long time, but last 2 weeks were so crazy, honestly, I didn't understand what was going on at all. Now I am in the same situation, but I have time and desire to write, so I am here. Today I want to talk about time. I think it is the most valuable resource in our lifes. It sounds trivial, I know. But, you know, this awareness brings a lot of problems in life. You feel guilt all time when try to relax or do something useless. I think, it is a big problem, because without rest you can't do a lot. But when you are resting you always think you're just wasting your time. Especially it feels when you don't have a lot of free time for your own things. Time runs so fast so I am afraid to wake up one day and realize I've done nothing. I'd like to end on a positive note, so maybe one day I can manage my time.

Thoughts about why people love celebrities I don't know, why I want to write about that (and I don't know, why I write here like it is my diary or something :D) but now I want to talk about pop industry. Maybe I've chosen the wrong world, but I want just to think a little about why people sometimes are so tied to some groups or actors. I am this kind of people, so, I suppose, I can talk from the point of my own experience. I pondered about it yesterday, when I had got some not so good news and one of the first things I did was opening Youtube and watching videos of star I like. It was like lifebuoy. I could forget about my problems for a moment. When I see this world, so bright, with beautiful people, happy smiles, I think that hapiness exists. This world look like doll's world. Beautiful and ideal, without pain, tears. Of course I understand, that it is only a picture, a mirage. But one part of my soul sincerely believe, that there are a piece of truth in these smiles. I want to believe, that somebody somewhere can be beautiful and happy. So when I watch it it's like I touch this world. Feel myself the part of it. I don't think all people feel the same, but maybe some of them. People like brights and beautiful things. But the bad side is that these people, who are happy in your mind, can be unhappy in reality. You can't help it.

Growing of people around I promised myself to write at leas onct a week, but I failed. I always think "Ok, today is time", but there so many things to do. But I've found time finally, so I'm writing. I had a lot of ideas, what I want to tell, but now I don't want. So it a small note about nothing, I think. Tomorrow I go to my hometown, because my school's friend are goint to get married. It's so strange, I remember us laughing at silly things and argueing about homework. So suddenly people around me became... adult. I feel like I am stuck in childhood or maybe adolescence. I feel comfortable in that, but it's scary how fast people around me change. Some times later they will have babies, but I think I will still where I am now. Maybe (I hope very much) I will have a good job, and some of my cherished dreams will become true, but I think some "adult's" things won't available to me. I don't know it's bad or good, but feeling of this gap between other people and me scares me. But I still have friends like me and that comforts me a little bit :D

日本語の勉強です 私はアリョナです。日本語を勉強したいです。話と書き込みはとても難しいです、だからこれは書きました。私は勉強が好きですが、とても忙しいです。少し時間があります、だから少し勉強します。ども日本語の勉強はとても楽しいです。

Productive at night I don't know why, but I have energy and desire to do something only at night. Usually at night, I noticed that a long time ago, when I was a child (mayde 8 years old). I dreamed to be a writer, and every night I used to read one famous fairy-tale named "Rainbow-Flower". After I used to open my notebook and write short stories. I don't know why, but that story inspired me a lot. When I became older, I could wake up at 2 a.m. and start to prepare to exams... So today is the same thing. All day long I didn't know what to do. You know, it's the rule that you have to be productive in the daytime and rest at night. So you go to work, after you sleep, after you do to work, and after and after... Sometimes I feel I forget to live. It's little time when I can feel like myself. Always I have to choose between... my desires and needs. So I have to turn off my laptop and go to sleep because I have to work for not dying of hunger and something :D So where is my productive time? I don't know why my reflectoin has so depressive ending. I really didn't mean it before writing. I just wanted to think about my productivity, but, obviosly, there are so many connected things, so if you talk about one, you touch others.

My mom comes Tomorrow my mother comes to St. Peterburg. It's the first time she arrives. My neighbor has been cooking a cake for her. She is a confectioner, so it seems she can cook something delicious with rubbish or dust :D There, in my room are fanstuff. Not so much but enought for my mother dissapointment :D She hopes I grew up, but I don't want to be serious and boring. I bear responsibility for my actions, I think it's enought adult's stuff. But I want there would be a little space for maybe stupid things, but if they bring joy, it isn't bad, is it? My mom just want me find a boyfriend. But I've found a new interesting anime and there has been released a new MV of my favourite boyband, sorry :D I work a lot and I have the right to buy stupid things. Sometimes I hear that our generation grows up later. Maybe it is true. But life is not only about being serious and thinking about money, marrige, children. You always can combine, can't you? Your happiness s the most important thing.

A Little Sad I think I should restart my writing here, because without that my speaking skills fall. I can read and understand a lot, but I speak like a baby. It's very confusing when I can't expess my thoughts in the way I accustomed in my native language. The most difficult parts are tenses and some set expressions. I don't know, should I learn rules a lot, or write and speak a lot? I know a lot of rules, but that's not helping to use it in real life. It is strange to stay, silent and think "Oh what tense do I have to use?", isn't it? Sometimes I think it's unreal to become fluent in English. I feel I stay in the same place. I don't want to look depressive , but I think I look. I just should do more and more, maybe then I start to move.