Fan's Joke #15 in English When I was a teenager, I believed that I was very charming, and always rejected all the negative comments on my appearance. Some people said that I was not handsome at all. When one or two guys said so, I thought they were just jealous and lying. But not until everyone said so, did I recognized how serious the problem was-there were so many liars on out planet.

Fan's Joke #14 in English 1. I asked my plastic surgeon,"I want to be as handsome as David Beckham. How much will it cost?" Gazing at my face, he answered,"That would be very challenging. Maybe two million dollars. You need to pay one million as deposit before the surgery." "Deal!' I paid him immediately. But when I watched TV the next day, I found this news: "David Beckham Disfigured by Unknown Attackers". 2. Tell you the truth, I have a cranky tendency: I love giving pretty girls presents.

Fan's Joke #13 in English When I was having my breakfast, my neighbor knocked my door."Sorry. I have nine pieces of bad news to tell you." She said,"I just hit your cat dead accidentally when I was backing my car. "

Fan's Joke #12 in English I beat my girlfriend soundly yesterday, so she was so mad that she moved out from my apartment. I felt so guilty today, and bought a lot of gifts to make her happy. When I visited her, I found out she was no longer angry, so I had to beat her again. /* I write jokes in English in my notebook, or translate jokes from Chinese. Any corrections will be truly appreciated. */

Fan's Jokes #10 in English 1. If I am depressed, I would send a text message to all my contacts,"Hi, I got a new phone, but I couldn't import my contacts. Would please send me your phone number?" Then I can find out how many contacts are silly. 2. When my house was on fire, I immediately enabled my Windows firewall service. 3. Witnessing the poor girl drowning in the river, I was really calm, and achieved seven stone skips. 4. It has been quite windy recently. I am worried about my girlfriend, because her underwear might be seen by other people. So I took her to the zoo today. /* These are Fan's Jokes No.10. I write jokes in English in my notebook, or write jokes translated from Chinese. Any corrections are truly appreciated. */

Fan's Jokes #9 in English I saw this guy imitating Michael Jackson's moonwalk dance. Although he was practising really vigorously, his dance was too naive to watch. I couldn't help giving a pat on his shoulder, and said,"Son, would you please go back home to practise? You are almost humiliating Michael Jackson." He stopped, answered me in a blank look,"Who is Michael Jackson? I just stepped on a chewed gum..." /* This is Fan's Jokes No.8. I write jokes in English in my notebook, or write jokes translated from Chinese. Any corrections are truly appreciated. */

Fan's Jokes #8 in English 1. I saw my wife sitting on the treadmill and watching TV, so I asked what she was doing. She shushed me, and said, "I am trying to deceive my fat." 2. I asked my colleague how he spent his Saint Valentine's Day, and he answered that he spend the whole day with his dog. I thought that it must be the most pathetic day. What a romantic day it was, and the dog had to play with that guy. /* So, these are Fan's Jokes No.8. I write jokes in English in my notebook, or write jokes translated from Chinese. Any corrections are truly appreciated. */

Fan's Jokes #7 in English 1. I had a job interview today. I was checking myself in the mirror, and couldn't resist asking Dad,"Hey, Dad. How is your feeling of having a good-looking son?" Dad answered with a puzzled look,"I don't know. I'm afraid that you have to ask your grandpa." 2. This guy always bothers me, so I asked him one day, "Do you want the superpower of invisibility?" He nodded his head, "Why not?" SO I have kept ignoring him ever since then. /* So, these are Fan's Jokes No.7. I write jokes in English in my notebook, or write jokes translated from Chinese. Any corrections are truly appreciated. */