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Vietnam flagKathy Ly
Please help me to correct my essay. Thank you so much! TOPIC: In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? A multitude of local stores has recently closed as the result of the increasing number of high-rise and modern shopping malls which changes their customer shopping behavior. I believe this development is benificial because it helps to reduce city sprawl and create a viable solution to control store owners. On the one hand, the vertical development can prevent the city expansion and save the countryside. There are more spaces available to build new houses and other facilities, given that separate local shops are gathered into one large building. Therefore, using the green line land to deal with the problem of lacking spaces, such as the housing crisis, is evitable. For example, according to a recent survey, the housing price in China is more stable since the government encouraged all local sellers to move into shopping malls. On the other hand, centralization is the best way to control, because the shop owners have to follow the building rules such as an opening and closing time, the condition of the store and the type of products allowed to sell. This will minimize the problem of fraudulent products and charges, which might happen in local shops, and increase the quality of customer experience. For instance, Vietnam has reduced the number of reports about fraud products by half since its attempt to centralize all the local seller into one shopping center. In conclusion, although many small local stores are forcing to close because of the change in customers shopping direction toward shopping centers and malls, I believe this is a positive change since it could prevent the urbanization and help governments control the quality of products selling in those stores.

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1

Please help me to correct my essay. Thank you so much!

TOPIC: In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

A multitude of local stores has have recently closed as the result of the increasing number of high-rise and modern shopping malls which changes their customer shopping behavior. I believe this development is benificial beneficial (slight spelling error) because it helps to reduce city sprawl and create a viable solution to control store owners.

On the one hand, the vertical development can prevent the city expansion and save the countryside. There are more spaces available to build new houses and other facilities, given that separate local shops are gathered into one large building. Therefore, using the green line land to deal with the problem of lacking spaces, such as the housing crisis, is inevitable. For example, according to a recent survey, the housing price in China is more stable since the government encouraged all local sellers to move into shopping malls.

On the other hand, centralization is the best way to control shops, because the shop owners have to follow the building rules such as an opening and closing time, the condition of the store and the type of products allowed to sell. This will minimize the problem of fraudulent products and charges, which might happen in local shops, and increase the quality of customer experience. For instance, Vietnam has reduced halved the number of reports about fraudulent products by half  (what you had made sense, it just sounds more natural this way) since its attempt to centralize all the local sellers into one shopping center.

In conclusion, although many small local stores are forcing being forced to close because of due to customers preferring to shop in the change in customers shopping direction toward (sounds more natural this way) shopping centers and malls, I believe this is a positive change since it could prevent the urbanization* and help governments control the quality of products selling in those stores.


*You can write 'prevent the urbanization of green land' instead, it just depends on what you want to say.

It may be worth changing 'prevent' to 'reduce' as you can't really prevent urbanization and you have already stated that the land would be used for houses instead of shops.



1

Please help me to correct my essay. Thank you so much!

TOPIC: In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

A multitude of local stores has have recently closed as the result of the increasing number of high-rise and modern shopping malls which changes their customer , changing shopping behavior. I believe this development is benificial beneficial because it helps to reduce city sprawl and create a viable solution to control store owners.

On the one hand, the vertical development can prevent the city expansion and save the countryside. There are more spaces available to build new houses and other facilities, given that separate local shops are gathered into one large building. Therefore, using the green line land to deal with the problem of lacking spaces, such as the housing crisis, is evitable. For example, according to a recent survey, the housing price in China is more stable since the government encouraged all local sellers to move into shopping malls.

On the other hand, centralization is the best way to control, because the shop owners have to follow the building rules such as an opening and closing time, the condition of the store and the type of products allowed to sell. This will minimize the problem of fraudulent products and charges, which might happen in local shops, and increase the quality of customer experience. For instance, Vietnam has reduced the number of reports about fraud products by half since its attempt to centralize all the local seller into one shopping center.

In conclusion, although many small local stores are forcing to close because of the change in customers shopping direction toward shopping centers and malls, I believe this is a positive change since it could prevent the urbanization and help governments control the quality of products selling in those stores.

(I only made some changes in the first 2 sentences, because I had problems with your logic.)



1

Please help me to correct my essay. Thank you so much!

TOPIC: In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel ("travel" is fine here, but "are now travelling" is a suggestion. It sounds  better here )to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

A multitude of local stores ("A multitude of local shops" is ok here,  but more natural to say "Numerous local shops have ...") has recently closed as the result of the increasing number of high-rise and modern shopping malls which changes their is changing customer shopping behavior. I believe this development is beneficial because it helps to reduce city sprawl and creates a viable solution to control store owners.

On the one hand, the vertical development can prevent the city expansion and save ("preserve" is another option to "save" here) the countryside. There are more spaces available to build new houses and other facilities, given that separate local shops are gathered into one large building. Therefore, using the green line land to deal with the problem of lack of space and   the housing crisis is inevitable. (I've reorganised this sentence a little just to give it a better "flow". It was a touch awkward before ) For example, according to a recent survey, the housing price in China is more stable since the government encouraged all local sellers to move into shopping malls.

On the other hand, centralization is the best way to control, because the shop owners have to follow the building rules such as an opening and closing time, the condition of the store, and the type of products allowed to sell. This will minimize the problem of fraudulent products and charges, which might happen in local shops, and increase the quality of customer experience. For instance, Vietnam has reduced the number of reports about fraudulent products by half since its attempt to centralize all the local sellers into one shopping center.

In conclusion, although many small local stores are forcing being forced to close because of the change shift in customers shopping direction  the consumer preference towards shopping centers and malls, I believe that this is a positive change.  It could prevent the reduce urbanization, and help governments control the quality of products selling in those stores. (I broke up the last sentence as it felt a little too long and unwieldy


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