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Share an Umbrella The ring rang, and students jammed out the classroom. I cleaned up slowly becauae I didn' t want to nudge my way through them. After my classmates all went away, I began to leave my seat. Unfortunately, it was rainy, and I forgot to bring an umbrella with me. I turned around to see if there were my acquiaintances. I found my classmate of my first grade. After that scorching summer, she changed her major so we are no longer classmates. I approached to her and asked if she had an umbrella. She nodded. She wore a black T-shirt. She had a dry, warm, soft smell. I didn' t know why, but I was a little shy and delight. Since we walked shoulder to shoulder, I could only see her side face. My gaze settled on her hand. I thought it is a dry, warm and soft hand. The bones beneath her skin had a good-looking shape and curve. We didn' t have much to talk. I would say that I am more nervous than embarrassed. She was friendly and gentle. She didn' t show any boredom to my silence. Then we said goodbye to each other.

Corrections · 7

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Share an Umbrella

The ringer rang, and students jammed out the classroom. I left slowly because I didn' t want to nudge my way through them. After my classmates had all gone, I began to leave. Unfortunately, it was rainy, and I forgot to bring an umbrella with me. I turned around to look for a friend. I found my first grade claasmate. After that scorching summer, she had changed her major so we were no longer classmates. I approached her and asked if she had an umbrella. She nodded. She wore a black T-shirt. She had a dry, warm, soft smell. I didn' t know why, but I was a little shy and delighted. Since we walked shoulder to shoulder, I could only see her in silhouette. My gaze settled on her hand. I thought it was a dry, warm and soft hand. The bones beneath her skin had a good-looking shape and curve. We didn' t have much to talk of. I would say that I was more nervous than embarrassed. She was friendly and gentle. She didn' t show any boredom to my silence. Then we said goodbye to each other.

very well written!

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Sharing an Umbrella

The bell rang, and students jammed out of the classroom. I cleaned up slowly because I didn' t want to nudge my way through them. After my classmates all went away, I began to leave my seat. Unfortunately, it was rainy, and I forgot to bring an umbrella with me. I turned around to see if there were my acquaintances. I found my classmate of my from first grade. After that scorching summer, she changed her major, so we are no longer classmates. I approached to her and asked if she had an umbrella. She nodded. She wore a black T-shirt. She had a dry, warm, soft smell. I didn' t know why, but I was a little shy and delighted. Since we walked shoulder to shoulder, I could only see her side face profile. My gaze settled on her hand. I thought it is  was a dry, warm and soft hand. The bones beneath her skin had a good-looking shape and curve. We didn' t have much to talk about. I would say that I was am more nervous than embarrassed. She was friendly and gentle. She didn' t show any boredom to in my silence. Then we said goodbye to each other.
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Good story, Ari. Vivid descriptions. I like the sentence, "She had a dry, warm, soft smell."
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The ring rang, and students jammed out the classroom.


In my European English jam is usual 'jam into'.  'jam out of' sounds unusual. I would have sai 'pushed their way out of'  or 'pushed to get out of'.

The way you used - 'nudge', 'nodded' and 'my gaze settled on' - all sound great here.

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