dream（Bajin）

I often think that dream is my only comfort.（我常常把梦当作我唯一的安慰，I often using dreaming as my only comfort） I will have a short clam just in the dream. （只有在梦里我才得到片刻的安宁，only in the dream i can have quietness）In my life, I can’t find “quiet” this word.(我的生活里找不到“宁静”这个名词。I can't find "quiet"of the word in my life) My heart is shrouded in worry and difficulty and (they) never depart from me.
Nevertheless, when I enter into dream,and they are far away suddenly.(然而我一进到梦的世界，它们马上远远地避开了,when i enter into the dream world,and they are suddenly far away) In the dream world, I always forget myself.(在梦的世界里我每每忘了自己。) I don’t know I used to be what kind of person or I used to do something.(我不知道我过去是一个什么样的人，或者做过什么样的事。 ) I am always a simple-minded young man, in my dream, neither have past nor have future, neither worry nor difficulty.(梦中的我常常是一个头脑单纯的青年，没有过去，也没有将来；没有烦忧，也没有困难。 I am always a simple-minded young man in my dream,with no past or future,neither worry nor difficulty.) I am just now. I only have one simple way, and I only have one simple faith. (我只有一个现在，我只有一条简单的路，我只有一个单纯的信仰。I only have today,i only have a simple road,and i only have one faith)I don’t know where the faith come from and I don’t care about it in my dream. (我不知道这信仰是从什么地方来的，在梦中我也不会去考究它。)But faith is always the same faith, and in my life also don’t have change. (但信仰永远是同一的信仰，而且和我在生活里的信仰完全一样。But faith is always the same faith, andalso don’t have change in my life. )(None but)The faith takes root. I never can change or put off it.(只有这信仰是生了根的，我永远不能把它去掉或者改变。) I even forget myself and my past, but the faith sent forth rays as Venus. (甚至在梦里我忘了自己、忘了过去的时候，这信仰还像太白星那样地放射光芒。)I often open my eyes from （the）dream and lie on my bed and look around confusedly, and then I recall who I am by the faith at that time.(所以我每次从梦中睁开眼睛，躺在床上半糊涂地望着四周的景物，那时候还是靠了这信仰我才马上记起我是怎样的一个人。) The faith can link between dream world and true world.(把梦的世界和真实的世界连结起来的就只有这信仰。)（And） Even though I forget myself in my dream. I can’t do anything that I usually oppose. (所以在梦里我纵然忘了自己，我也不会做一件我平日所反对的事情)

Dream（Bajin) 1

I often think that dream2 is dreams are my only comfort. I will have a short clam just in the dream  find short bouts of calm in them. In my life, I can’t find “quiet” this word. I cannot find the word, "quiet" in my life for my heart is shrouded in worry and difficulty 2worries and difficulties;   and never departing from me3.

Nevertheless, when I enter into my dreams, and they these worries and difficulties4 are suddenly far from me.  away suddenly. In the my dream world, I always forget who I ammyself. I don’t know I used to be remember what kind of person I am or I used to do something what I do. There, I am always just a simple-minded young man.  In my dreams, neither have past nor have future, neither worry nor there is no past or future; no worries or difficulties - just one existence, a simple road to walk on with a simple faith5. I am just now. I only have one simple way, and I only have one simple faith. I don’t know where the this faith comes from and neither do I don’t care about it in my dreams. But faith is It will always be the same faith, and as it changes not 6in my life also don’t have change. The faith takes root. I never can change or put off it. It can never changed any longer as it had already taken root.  I even forget myself and my past, but the faith sent forth rays as Venus. Even when I had forgotten myself, but Faith sent forth rays of hope like the golden arrows shot from Apollo.7 I often open my eyes When I woke up from dreaming,  and lie on my bed and look around confusedly I found myself still in a daze in bed and then I recall who I am by the until Faith at that time came to my rescue for she is the link between my world of dreams and this world of reality. The faith can link between dream world and true world. Even though I can forget myself in my dreams, I can’t cannot do anything thing that I do not believe in.  usually oppose.

Excellent piece of essay in creative writing.  You really need to thank Rhyme for his comments.  In future, when you are trying this level of writing, give your own thoughts in Chinese as well.  This would be an enormous help to those correcting your English.  You and Rhyme did a great job.

1.   When you are using foreign words, you must translate it into the language you are writing in.  In this case English; otherwise leave such words out.

2.  Should not be in singular form because there all dreams etc affect you, not just only one.

3.  Or you can write, "... difficulties for they are my constant companions."

4.  I repeated these words for emphasis.  This is to make your writing more interesting.

5. Without Rhyme's comment, I would not able to fathom your thoughts exactly.  Thanks Rhyme.

6.  I am writing it in a poetic style to change the rhythm of your essay.  In prose, it should be written something like, "it does not change in my life."

7.  Without Rhyme's comment, I would be totally stumped here and would have asked you to write in Chinese for clarification.  In English, by itself, the word "Venus" means the Roman Goddess of Love, not the planet.  太白金星 is often translated as the "God of the Planet Venus".  This has no meaning for western readers.  This sort of allusion is very tricky to translate.  Since you are using an allusion, I changed it to the Greek sun god Apollo which is more appropriate to western readers.  Also note the I have capitalized the word "faith".  This is because "faith" has been personified.