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Сorrida: mortal performance Recently i had the best and at the same time the worst experiense in my life: I visited corrida. We were in Spain, my friend and I and accidentally we stumbled upon the advertisement of corrida. And we thought that we must not miss the chance to attend a real bullfight with these bulls and bullfighters. Аnd the cheapest price seemed pretty good, that was only 8 euros. But soon we understood why it was so. The fact is that in the arena there are places of shadow and sun. Since it was long before sunset, sit in the sun was impossible so we had to pay 2 times more expensive just not to burn. So here we are, watching the opening ceremony, sitting in the shadow and being content with ourselves. 3 main characters appeare, they are called bullfighters, they all look noble and handsome. And in some moments, at last they let the bull into the arena and the play begins. I was simply fascinated by the dance of these two - bull and bullfighter. 3 bullfighters were changing and the bull was more and more tired. But then appears a man on a horse to pierce the bull with a lance to weaken it. From this moment my mood changes. It's not a play anymore. We were sitting very close to the arena and i saw sufering of the animal. They pearced him more and more and when he wasn't able to move anymore, they pierce him through with a sword and he fell dead. For myself, I decided that this action is absolutelly not for me. I feel pity to the animal and I'm scared for the bullfighters. For me It's more like a slaughter where only one can survive and in most cases it won't be the bull. In any case that was an experiense for me. I can't say I liked it, but I learned something new about other culture even if it's something so cruel.

Corrections · 2

1

Сorrida: mortal performance

Recently I had the best and, at the same time, the worst experience of my life: I visited Corrida. We were in Spain, my friend and I and accidentally we stumbled upon the advertisement of Corrida. And we thought that we must not miss the chance to attend a real bullfight with these bulls and bullfighters. Аnd the cheapest price seemed pretty good, that was at only 8 euros. But soon we understood why it was so. The fact is that in the arena there are places of shadow and sun. Since it was long before sunset, sitting in the sun was impossible so we had to pay 2 times more expensive twice as much just not to burn.
So here we are, watching the opening ceremony, sitting in the shadow and being content with ourselves. 3 main characters appear. They are called bullfighters and they all look noble and handsome. And in some moments, at last they let the bull into the arena and the play begins.
I was simply fascinated by the dance of these two - bull and bullfighter. 3 bullfighters were charging and the bull was more and more tired. But then appeared a man on a horse to pierce the bull with a lance to weaken it.
From this moment my mood changed. It wasn't  a play anymore. We were sitting very close to the arena and i saw suffering of the animal. They pierced him more and more and when he wasn't able to move anymore, they pierced him through with a sword and he fell dead.
For myself, I decided that this action is absolutelly not for me. I felt pity to for the animal and I was scared for the bullfighters. For me It's more like a slaughter where only one can survive and in most cases it won't be the bull.
In any case that was an experience for me. I can't say I liked it, but I learned something new about another culture even if it's something so cruel.


Overall, this was VERY GOOD. I would give you advice in three general areas:

1) When using numbers (example: 3 bullfighters), it's normal to spell out the word for anything less than 10. Example: Three bullfighters, Five people (etc). Beyond 10, it's typical to use the numerical symbols. The exception would be with decimals. Example: 1.5, not "one point five" :)

2) It seems you moved back and forth between tenses (present vs past), sometimes in the same idea. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but I've changed most of it to be reflected in the past, as I THINK that's what you were trying to express.

3) Finally, because this is a personal story, you don't need to use "for myself" or "for me". In English when telling a story in the first person, it's already implied that this is your opinion.

Great work! I hope my feedback helps you!

John. 



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